Anyone read Dear Abby today?
Hi there Stranger!!!! I hope all is good with you and the family!!
I didn't read it but can say that I had been married for many, many years prior to WLS (more than 20) and now I am not.
The marriage was not a healthy one. It wasn't like anyone was being beaten, more like just two people who had fallen into a routine and neither one wanted to rock the boat. I lived my life with "our" boys and he lived his life doing whatever he wanted to do. As long as he was not bothered by us, all was well.
After WLS, a whole new world opened up for me (and the boys). I wanted to share it with him, but he still only wanted to do what he wanted to do and that is all.
We became more like roommates than husband/wife. I then began to resent this because I felt my boys and I deserved better.
When it became evident he was not going to change at all, or even try, I rocked the boat. We separated, he promised me all the changes I had been asking him to do for years. He gave me NONE of those changes.
I realized that I did not have to put up with being treated like that any longer, and the boys and I would be better off and happier (after the initial period). The separation became a divorce. Between the date of separation and divorce, he had 3 1/2 years to try to convince us he was willing to fight for us. Didn't happen once.
Yet it is all my fault for breaking up the family according to him. Actually, everyone is happier now, even the boys. The ex has a new ugly duckling he can live his selfish me, me ,me life with, and I know what being truly happy is life for the first time in my life (not to mention the fact that I now know how I AM worthy as a person), and my boys are just the best kids and shining examples of fine young men.
My boys tell me that they love their dad just as much as they love me, but are very grateful that we did divorce because it opened up so many amazing opportunities for them that wouldn't have availed them had their dad and I stayed together.
So THAT is my story and I am sticking to it. I am sure there are some who lose the weight and do go crazy with all the newfound positive attention, but I bet those numbers are pretty slim and I bet that my story is more in the lines of everybody elses. If you listened to the ex's side, he would tell you that I "abandoned" the family, blah, blah, blah. He is just angry that his little wonderful life with a submissive wife who kept good care of the kids so he didn't have to ended up messing up his world. Well, too bad .
Good topic Josie!!! Have a great holiday season if you disappear again! LOL!!!
Jillie
I didn't read it but can say that I had been married for many, many years prior to WLS (more than 20) and now I am not.
The marriage was not a healthy one. It wasn't like anyone was being beaten, more like just two people who had fallen into a routine and neither one wanted to rock the boat. I lived my life with "our" boys and he lived his life doing whatever he wanted to do. As long as he was not bothered by us, all was well.
After WLS, a whole new world opened up for me (and the boys). I wanted to share it with him, but he still only wanted to do what he wanted to do and that is all.
We became more like roommates than husband/wife. I then began to resent this because I felt my boys and I deserved better.
When it became evident he was not going to change at all, or even try, I rocked the boat. We separated, he promised me all the changes I had been asking him to do for years. He gave me NONE of those changes.
I realized that I did not have to put up with being treated like that any longer, and the boys and I would be better off and happier (after the initial period). The separation became a divorce. Between the date of separation and divorce, he had 3 1/2 years to try to convince us he was willing to fight for us. Didn't happen once.
Yet it is all my fault for breaking up the family according to him. Actually, everyone is happier now, even the boys. The ex has a new ugly duckling he can live his selfish me, me ,me life with, and I know what being truly happy is life for the first time in my life (not to mention the fact that I now know how I AM worthy as a person), and my boys are just the best kids and shining examples of fine young men.
My boys tell me that they love their dad just as much as they love me, but are very grateful that we did divorce because it opened up so many amazing opportunities for them that wouldn't have availed them had their dad and I stayed together.
So THAT is my story and I am sticking to it. I am sure there are some who lose the weight and do go crazy with all the newfound positive attention, but I bet those numbers are pretty slim and I bet that my story is more in the lines of everybody elses. If you listened to the ex's side, he would tell you that I "abandoned" the family, blah, blah, blah. He is just angry that his little wonderful life with a submissive wife who kept good care of the kids so he didn't have to ended up messing up his world. Well, too bad .
Good topic Josie!!! Have a great holiday season if you disappear again! LOL!!!
Jillie
Jilliecats 
Hubby was great with it all, family was harder. They were very supportive, but some felt that since I had dropped the weight, all my troubles were gone. Like losing weight solved any other issues that were in my life. Unfortunately, when some are overweight, they blame their weight for all their issues and don't realize that most of life's struggles are utterly unrelated.
Highest 6/98: 289 1st consult 9/07: 260 5'11"
WLS 1/7/08: 234 Lowest 8/08: 164.5
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=532747907&ref=name
Currently pregnant! Due November 27th, 2009!
Most Active
Recent Topics
Dr. Now from "My 600-lb Life" will deliver Keynote at #OH2023!
Member Services · 0 replies · 540 views
Member Services · 0 replies · 540 views
OH National Conference tickets are now on sale! Early Bird Tickets are Limited!
Kim Gyurina, OH Staff · 0 replies · 738 views
Kim Gyurina, OH Staff · 0 replies · 738 views
Help finding a Doctor that will be supportive with WLS in the Solano County Area. I live Vacaville.
gafoy · 1 replies · 1063 views
gafoy · 1 replies · 1063 views