THE DRAMA AS OF LATE

O.k., here we go again..........................

First, let me say that methinks you doth protest too much.........  Your response to Kirsten's posting of yesterday, November 17, 2009, had utterly nothing to do with you.  It spoke of a time that happened before you were a part of the CA Obesity Help Message Board.  I think you also might be referring to the post I made on the same message thread.  Yes, I did have you in mind when I wrote it, but you were only one of a few.  It was not solely about you.  If it had been, I would have gone to you privately.

I have taken brief quotes (highlighted and boldened in blue) out of your Good Morning California post of November 18, 2009 and responded to them.  I hope it does end at this, because this is really not productive use of my time or yours.  All this really does is give people some drama to read about.

We have rules and some of the rules are you must be fun and supportive and loving and kind. 
Is it fun and supportive and loving and kind to put out posts about what your group did knowing those who you have banned from said group will be reading it?  Fun?  Well, for you maybe, so you can laugh at how you can "show them" what a good time they are missing by not being able to hang with you.  Supportive?  Not in the very least bit is this supportive.  This is kicking others in the teeth, plain and simple.  Loving?  See supportive  Kind?  NO!!!!!  It most assuredly NOT kind.

I love hearing that people get together and have fun and play and live this life to its fullest. It makes me smile.  
Yes, I agree.  I would venture to guess this makes all of us smile.  HOWEVER, would I put a post out there that I knew would hurt someone's feelings?  Not on your life, especially in the guise of support.  Total chicken****

I try to stay on the positive side so did not want to bring anyone down with some not so pleasant things.
Can you please explain how you try to do this?  Maybe I am missing the subtleness of this statement.  I have to say that I have not seen you ever do this, unless it was self serving, and this, of course,  negates the whole point.

Now ladies and gents the posting around her seems to have gone in a very let’s say not so nice direction. Well in my opinion, that is and last time I checked the first amendment I was allowed to state my opinion. 
On this point, I totally concur with you.  The posting has gone in the wrong direction for a weight loss support board as of late; and, true, the First Amendment does indeed guarantee freedom of speech.  However, I need you to refer back to the first statement I quoted from your writing.  Let me repeat it here again, in italics, to make is stand out. We have rules and some of the rules are you must be fun and supportive and loving and kind.  You have violated your own rule.  Let me give you an analogy that I am sure you understand because of your knowledge and love of kids (another point I concur with you on.  I, too, am extremely knowledgeable about kids and love them as well). You "poured salt on a snail" when you posted about the exclusive weekend you had with the other Super Elite....   From where I sit, the ONLY reason you posted about the weekend the way you did was to open up that box of salt to pour, pour, pour on those you think not worthy of your caliber and therefore either not invited to join your group or kicked out of your group.  I am not alone on this impression.  I will even go so far as to say that the ONLY people who do not feel this way are the members of your Super Elite.... 

If you were interested in only being fun, supportive, loving and kind, you would have posted about your weekend in a totally different way.  If the only people who are good enough to hang out with you are already in your group, wouldn't it suffice it to say there is no reason to let the rest of us "unsupportive heathens" know about the groups doings unless you wanted to pour some salt on those who would have open wounds?  Maybe your intent was to let them know what they missed??  

As I said before, I am not one to rock the boat and I am 99.9999999% ALWAYS supportive and have no hidden innuendos attached to my posts.  But you know what, some people have just been done wrong and they were done wrong by you.  They need an apology from you.  I have no pony in this show.  I do not know you and I do not know the others who have been hurt (I don't even know how many of them there were), but I do know that you were simply wrong.  In case you didn't notice, the ONLY people who came to your defense were your fellow Super Elite......  This should tell you something.

As to everyone else, I was torn as to make this public or take it private.  Since you, Rhonda, chose to open the can of worms publically, I felt it was necessary to answer you in public.  There have been way way too many times when this sort of **** went unchecked instead of being nipped in the bud (me being one of those who is guilty in ignoring instead of speaking up when I should have).

There is more to say, but I have spent enough time on this.  Ironing and cooking calls so I will end this now.

Thank you for reading this.


 

 

Thank you Jillie for taking this point by point. I read this to the husband and his first thought the movie Mean Girls. I had to stop and think about it and realized he's right (except for the violence). I never wanted to be a part of the SECC and if they invited me now, I wouldn't join. I try to be friends with everyone and would never want to exclude people from being my friend or a part of my life. It took a lot of courage and forethought to post this. x0x0x0

Katt, I sent you an apology letter 3 days ago and I haven't heard from you.  I would like to know if you got it?  Thank you, Diane

Yes, I got it...just thinking about how to respond to it.

I didn't feel that was a complicated letter, but that may be for you.  There is no need to respond, I just wanted to make sure that you received it and it didn't get sent to someone else.

Ok

Wow Jillie.....you said a mouthful.  I am always in awe of how you can speak your mind in such a well thought out way. 

We have both been here a long time and have seen drama and the people associated with it come and go.  I guess it always can't be smooth sailing.  I feel like I have some to offer others.  I am kind and caring and really care about people but I don't know about all of this anymore.  Maybe I will stand back  for a while and just lurk again.  I need the support because I have gained weight and am going through some medical issues but I really don't need the drama.  I have 4 children at home and a job that cause me enough drama.  I need love, friendship and support from here. 

In the words of the great John Lennon.....Just give peace a chance.

Can we please just STOP the flaming and ripping to shreds some of the people who chose to post on the boards?  I appologize if any of my postings have offended anyone - I in no way meant to hurt anyones feelings.  My recent trip down to Southern California was to spend some time with some super neat wonderful people I have met on this board and met in person last May. 

There was no malice intended with Rhonda's post.  It was not mean spirited.  It was not meant to hurt.  Quite the contrary.  Rhonda is a sweet caring loving and wonderful person, a great friend and an incredible human being who gives so much of herself to others. 

The SECC was all done in fun.  That's all it was meant to be.  A cutsie name for a bunch of gals who like to get together and laugh and have fun and enjoy life and cultivate friendships.  That's it.  No ulterior motive.  None whatsoever. 

I had a wonderful time on my last visit mainly beause a group of wonderful ladies got together to to laugh.  And laugh we did.  The next time I come down, I will make sure I let everyone know so if you want to get together and meet me, I welcome it.  I love meeting new people and cherish some of the wonderful relationships I have developed.

MoMo

You are correct Mo, it does have to stop and it should.  I'm totally on the fence here and not taking sides.  I just want to say that in the past and even now, when get togethers were planned that were not open to all board participants, we kept the details and results of those get togethers off the boards.  "Flaunting" for lack of a better word your good time with other board members makes those who are excluded from the fun because of no invitation to join the fun feel left out.  It makes them feel hurt.  It makes them feel like the fat chicks they've always been.  Always on the outside, looking in at the popular kids getting all the attention and having all the fun.  It hurts.  And if you weren't a fat child or teenager, you probably don't understand that feeling.  But let me tell you, it's a horrible feeling to think of yourself as less or not good enough to be with everyone else.

Granted, you are not going to like everyone here.  You aren't supposed to.  And you aren't supposed to want to spend time with everyone here.  That is why if you are having a private get together, it should stay that way.

I think yesterday, Kirsten's post was simply a way of stating she missed how things were in the old days. Days way before you or Rhonda or Jean (just to mention a few names) were here on the boards.  It was way different then.  There were huge get togethers and parties.  And there were huge problems associated with those situations because of people who are just mean spirited and have no good up their sleeves. So get togethers were taken off the boards.  Parties became invite only.  To be perfectly honest, I've gone to and hosted any number of parties over the last few years that included many OH people.  I didn't post the planning to the board.  I didn't post the results to the board.  I may have made a comment about spending a lovely weekend with wonderful friends.  End of story.  No hurt feelings for anyone to feel because no one knew who was at my party.  Frankly, it didn't concern anyone who was at my party.  It was MY party.

So, I think it's time everyone pulled up their big girl panties and got on with life.  Be supportive when you can.  Make suggestions to others for success when you have them.  Be tough love on those that need it.   But keep the high school antics away from here.  It just doesn't belong.  It's not a popularity contest here.  The winner is not the one who has the most friends at the end of the day.  The winner is the one who finally achieves success over the demon obesity.  Isn't that what we are all here for???

Stephanie

Flaming as defined by wikipedia:

Flaming is hostile and insulting interaction between Internet users. Flaming usually occurs in the social context of a discussion board, Internet Relay Chat (IRC), by e-mail or on Video-sharing websites. It is usually the result of the discussion of heated real-world issues like politics, religion, and philosophy, or of issues that polarise subpopulations (for example, the perennial debating between Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 owners). Internet trolls frequently set out to incite flamewars for the sole purpose of offending or irritating other posters.

Now whether you describe Jillie's post as hostile or insulting is open to opinion. I don't see it that way. I think there are still a lot of people (including myself) who are waiting for a response from the person who made herself the center of the drama.

I completely agree with you that SECC was started in fun and as I stated earlier in today's Good Morning post I did not see anything mean-spirited there at all. I can clearly see that it was just a group of friends having fun. I still don't understand why I was invited to join, and then banned. I'm still waiting for an explanation.

I knew you were coming to town and I was invited to spa day. I had other commitments and could not come. I would have loved to meet you and talk about hunting rifles and such. :) How many other people in the So Cal area had the same opportunity? Perhaps I missed it, but was there ever a "Come Meet Momo" event? 

If not, why advertise all over the board that you were coming to town? It may not have been your intention, but it gave the appearance that only a select few would be spending time with you and you had to be 'in the know' to be included in the festivites. Even though I was one of those considered to be an 'elite', I can't help but to feel bad for those who have been left out.

So thank you for allowing me to be a small part of SECC, but I do not wish to be associated with such groups any longer.  I hold no ill-will towards any of you ladies and welcome the opportunity to answer questions or address your concerns in public or via PM.

Gracias!