im back....

 why does it feel like being back here is a failure? i had my rny about 5 years ago. i started at 210 and by the end of a year my "honeymoon" period was over and i had seen 135. then.... weight steadily creeping back up. i spent 9/12ths of '08 pregnant, after ups and downs i ended up with a net gain of 15lbs. i left the hospital in pre-preg clothes and then managed to gain 30lbs. im currently at 180 and hating it. ive been off work almost a year and ive been looking for a new job since november. i went to get ready for an interview.... only to discover my maternity pants didnt even fit. $200 in interview clothes later... and im determined. this flab HAS to go (again). my husband and i split in september and ever since then its been a steady stream of emotional eating, pop tarts and taco bell. the funny thing is that the number on the scale doesnt fluctuate more then a pound or two.... but i can feel it in my clothes that ive at the very least gained mass. my goal for 2010 is to say goodbye to the cursed 30lbs and my terrible eating habits. this is what got me in to this mess to begin with, and theres no "miracle" surgery this time. it has to be sheer will power and desire. so to my fellow 2010-ers..... here we go!

You are most definatly not a failure. You recognized that you needed the support of this board and the need to go back to basics. I am 5 months out, so I really haven't earned the right to give advice to someone, but in my opinion, maybe starting with the 5 day pouch test. will help kick things up a notch. I wish you well and welcome back. I know there are a lot of new faces here, but a lot of the old timers are still here too. Some just sit bac****il needed, so don't be afraid to ask any of them for advice. Hang in there.
Huge hugs,

You are not a failure, you are human.  You have been through a lot.  Welcome back, we are here for you!  I hope things get better during 2010!

Welcome back! 


Lola