I don't mean to be a scrooge but...

My name is Kristen S. Pre-op of Dr.A, no date yet. I have talked to some of u before. I have been doing so good with my eating and lost the 10lbs, quit smoking, got out of a negative relationship started exercising, etc. I was with family for the past 2 days....I binged. Not as I used to but...It just goes to show that when in a stressful situation, we eat to ease the pain. Now I have known this for a while, but never have I actually paid such close attention to the issue. My family voiced negative opinions about the surgery, my sisters didn't believe things that I told them (like about the fact that certain cravings may go away after surgery) and the fact that some people may not experience the hunger like before. She mocked me and the two of them were making fun of me and laughing at me in pictures. I even cried because it got so bad. And then I was made fun of because I cried, I was told I take things too much to heart. I am not feeling strong at all today, my hormones feel all out of wack...it may be that time of the month...but I still need support. I feel very alone even though I was with family for two days now.

Okay so Kristen- you are on the right track- you have made some really positive steps, now consider one more step- tell your family (most especially your sisters) that if they can't be supportive, they can shut up. If their prescence is a negative impact on your progress, DON'T BE AROUND THEM. Be around people that support you, that are a good influence on your behaviors and don't tear you down. YOU DON'T NEED THIS!!!!! You can do this and we are here to support you. You are on the right track stay on it and don't let the turkeys drag you down. Maybe they are jealous and/or afraid of you succeeding?

Sometimes family hurts you the most. What I would suggest is to go on an have the surgery and "show them" a thing or two. My mother was scared to death and I had no supports and felt alone. I found the support groups wonderful and now that I am a size 9/10, my mother is awed and agreed to pay for the skin removal surgery I did so well. It scares people, but you have to do whats right fror you. This network is your extended family. Use it. best of Luck and don't lwt them change your mind, just make you madder and more determeined. BlkNectar

Thank u BLK Nectar I appreciate it. I am going to use 'extended" family and I will show them..I cant wait for that. The people here have been wonderful!! Thank u! Id like to hear yoyr journey story sometime. Kristen

My journey is so different from others as I was not very obese, I never had any chair problems or fitting in anywhere. I did have a heart hattack from diabetes which prompeted me. Now I was a size 18W now I am a 9/10 and when the skin is gone I will be an 8. I am 5' 8" and started at 257 and am down to 175 and fading. I only needed to lose 50 pounds, but i lost much more. Dr A has asked me to EAT MORE. I was suffering from diabetes, and did not weigh 100 pounds over weight. I was a large but not very obese person and all thought that I had the suregery when I started coming to the group. I did make a journey but not the same path as so many others but a journey just the same. Now I still can't find clothes as all the 10's are taken. My story is boring but tell me yours and remember, do it, and make them eat those words, and go to support groups. Let me know how you do. Jannie

Can I be your adopted sister and get my plastics too?!! Heehee... congrats on your upcoming surgery in the future. The power of example does work! Towanda

Kristian. Am old Gunny Sargent of mine years ago told me something once. Lead, Follow or get the F**K out of the way. You have to sorround yourself with people that are on board for you. Remember this is about you and how you want to live your life. Find people that are going to be on your team and go for it. Family will always love you no matter what. Be I would let them know if they can't be supportive then you would rather they not chime in at all. Remember its about YOU not them. Good luck and Merry Christams. Chris.

Hey Kristen, Sorry you got such a hard time from some of your family. Hopefully they weren't doining it just for the sake of being mean sprited. People who don't have issues with eating and feelings of low self esteem sometimes have trouble understanding the anguish folks like us go thru. Just have to let that sort of treatment just pass thru you. Know its not not easy to do, have been there and done that. We have to shake the negativity off us to be strong enough to get us through this "Journey" we are undertaking. As easy as it sounds from all the post's you read here there is still alot of work and frustrations that have to be endured. That's why your OH family is here. We help each other get thru the bumps in the road. Just remember YOU are the one taking control of your destiny. Know also that we have your "back"! So dry those tears and forgive those that don't know any better as far as what they say. Your on your way to a goal you have chosen. One that you will reach! So, Like a movie I watched a long time ago about a race across America. The driver of a red Ferrari told his co- driver as he ripped the rear view mirror off the windshield his car and tossed it over his shoulder,"What's behind me is not important!" Keep smiling and know we are here! Take Care, Julio

Gee Kristen... I am sorry that you had to experience that meanness from your family. As I am sure you already know... you have a family here at OH. And as Julio said... WE HAVE YOUR BACK. This journey definitely does make us stronger (which is a good thing) and also forces us to put the focus on us and our own personal growth while we journey towards physical health. I now can say when others are mean...THERE BUT FOR THE GRACE OF GOD GO I. That does not mean that my feelings don't get hurt... but now I am able to recover quicker and speak my mind better. You ARE in control of your new destiny... your new life. Try to focus on that and know this... YOU ARE IMPORTANT! So (as Juio says...) rip that rear window off and from my favorite movie (Fried Green Tomatoes) as Kathy Bates said to the mean girls who took her parking space... "TOWANDA!" Stand tall and know you are on the way to a new life that will bring you some wonderful rewards and renewed strength that you may not have even known existed. Trying to stay away from toxic people and environments has helped me. Get ready for the NEW KRISTEN! You have done well so far and I am sure will continue to do well until your surgery. As Bernadette said, the power of example works wonders. and... YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Towanda

oops! I meant BlkNectar re: power of example. T.