I don't mean to be a scrooge but...

Kristen, First, Merry Christmas. You know, your family may be jealous of you. Jealous that you are taking the step to do something about your weight. Be proud of that fact. And tell them if they can't support you than for them not to say anything at all. And then don't tell them anything about the surgery procedure. I don't understand why family feels they can treat us so badly. But the sad thing is is that we take it. I wish you luck on your journey and you could show them all how wrong they were. I see you have a very good doctor. God speed.

Hi Kristen, How awful that your supposed support system is mocking you... From now on...my adivse is, DON'T discuss this surgery or weight loss or weight gain or anything obesity related with ANY of them again... It causes you too much pain to begin with to be obese...you don't need those that are supposedly "close" to you giving you grief over it. Come here on the boards and post, go to the support group meetings and share there... If your family would like some "proof" that cravings and hunger goes away after surgery...have them email me and I"ll tell them so... I lost 18 pounds prior to surgery...and since Sept 28th, I'm down (including the 18 pounds) almost 75 pounds...12 weeks...AND, I hardly every feel hungry (sometimes have to remind myself to eat)...can eat almost anything, but in smaller quantities, and don't crave the sweets and carbs that I used to... I don't know why it happens, maybe Dr Aranow can explain it all to them if you make an appointment and bring them in to speak to him..but it does happen....cravings go away and hunger does too... I hope that they can change their way of thinking and stop mocking and making fun of you so that you can have a smooth transition to surgery and beyond. paula

Stay Strong...... I have two sisters that have always been smaller then me, I think there is a lot of jeaously, because both of them have been putting on weight over the years. My sisters have not called me or talked to me since the day I went in for my surgery, never asked me about it and didn't want to talk about it. I am doing this for myself and not for them is the way I feel. Good Luck. Jennie

Dear Kristen, Don't the holidays just bring out the very best in our "loved" ones? First and most importantly, I want to congratulate you on losing 10 lbs, quitting smoking, ending a negative relationship AND exercising. Wow! You have to be proud of yourself for all the positive changes you have made in your life. I truly admire you! As for me, it's all I can take to be with my family for a couple hours, let alone 2 days. I can only imagine the migraine I would have! I've observed that what I took with me from my experiences with my family is what I don't want to be like - concerned with appearances and that a child's feelings are expendable. I have struggled to be the mom to my kids that I wanted/needed to have and didn't. I haven't told my parents or one of my sisters because of the criticism and lack of support I expect I'd get from them. There are times I feel so lonely inside because of this. The reality is they won't change or be able to support me. This is not a result of me, this is how they are. There are times lately that when I think about what "I" am doing, where "I" am taking my life and health. I feel like I have been released from something that has been keeping me down for forever. I feel like I can see so much clearer about what I want for myself. It sounds and feels so incredibly selfish and it is but it is what "I" want, need and have to do for myself. My husband works at the subbase and when it was on the BRAC closure list, I was looking forward to moving away. I could picture myself thin, happier and free. I could see me as living my life for me (and my family) and not carrying around the baggage that has kept me down for so long. I am at a point where I need to shed not only the pounds but the baggage too! My holidays started at Thanksgiving with my sister being critical of mu husband and I not updating the carpet, curtains and kitchen in our house. Apparently that is very important to her. Christmas Eve was a continuation of the same, she came to our house for dinner and made another comment about our curtains. Christmas day, she waved her left hand under my nose, literally so that I would notice her "upgraded" engagement ring ("upgradeed" is her term). It is so pathetic it can only be funny. Can't wait for New Year's Day! I hear you and please know you are definitely not alone! Happy New Year, may it be what you hope for, what you deserve, and more! Lisa