Have I really lost who I am?

Hi.  I am going through exactly the same thing that you are.  I could have written your post myself as it describes just what I am feeling. 

The only thing that I keep telling myself is that my marriage has value (my husband loves me more than anything) and that I can't do anything stupid impulsively, no matter how much those hedonistic urges are driving me. 

But I also say that I am unwilling to go back in 'the box', which on many days I think my DH would be happy for me to do.  I am a different person, or rather, the person that maybe I would have been if I hadn't been killing myself with food for so many years. 

Anyway, I recently got myself into therapy, which I think is helping, and just day by day try to deal with the tinder-box of emotions that is bubbling just beneath the surface.  I swear, some days I feel like I am going to explode from all the pressure of the 'new me' trying to claw her way out.  Do I let her? No, that would be pretty self destructive, but I have to find a way to reconcile the new me with the old that keeps the best of both.

Still working on it....It is a life in progress.

Good luck.

Let me tell you that the dating scene sucks big time.  If you have a wonderful man and at least 80% great relationship, you better hold on to it for dear life.  The 20% (or less than that)  that you are looking for is not worth it.