OT: Opinions needed about a Baby Shower

Situation / background  -  My stepdaughter (married & 20yrs old)is having a baby. She lives out of state and my family and my husband's family are spread out and no where near where she is living. As in many divorce situations, distance has made it difficult to be active in her everyday life (outside of emails and bi-weekly calls).  Her mother uses this absense as a wedge. Mom moved but Dad was never there for them - Dad's contact is only to relieve his guilt - according to Mom -Yada Yada Yada whatever.

I've asked daughter about if she thinks she's going to have a shower and tried to prod her in the right direction but she's not the kind to put anyone out or ask. Her mom isn't into showers and no one threw her a bridal shower.  In fact it was like pulling teeth to get a baby registry out of her because she knows everyone is broke - every item is the least expensive version.  She deserves something nice.

Question:
As a suprise I would like to hold a long distance baby shower and included my husband's side of the family (who gets left out alot). Because of the distance, It would not be a traditional baby shower instead a scrapbook baby shower. Each guest would recieve paper, stickers, embellishments, baby shower game cards and baby advice cards. They would add pictures of themselves, complete the party games and put  it all together on 2,4, or more pages depending on the guest and return the pages to me to be placed in the scrapbook and sent on to daughter.
The opening page would read "You've been showered". My husband is clueless about the girl things. I have all the supplies for all of the guests and my husband is going to His fathers birthday party at the end of the month where most of the family will be and could deliver it to everyone (this would allow 6 weeks for completion of pages & mailing time- So I'm asking you for your opinion. Is this a good idea? Am I over stepping and should I just contact her mother and work on Mom?

I think this is a FABULOUS idea!  Yeah, baby stuff is cool (I go broke in that department!) but a family scrapbook with all kinds of pictures and family anecdotes would be a wonderful gift.

Good for you for thinking of her!

The baby and the new Mom is the important part of the equation here;  the other grandma can send her own gifts!

I think this is one of the most fabulous ideas I have ever heard of and cudos to you for wanting to do this for her!!!!!   I think she'd be amazed by it.  Leave mom out of it - it's from you and dad!

I too am a step-mom to two young adults whose mother has consistantly bad-mouthed their father.  Unfortunately they believe her and yet again he has not seen nor heard from his kids in over 2 years.  They will eventually come around and we always send Christmas, Birthday and Holiday cards.

I say do it!  Do not hesitate!  Put the supplies in pretty bags and put a note with directions. 

You have my vote! 

Let me just say this..I am the same way, not wanting to put anyone out.. Ididn't have a baby shower for either one of my children, nor a bridal shower, but I have to say that if someone sent me a book like that, well that would be the most special thing  and I would cheri**** forever...

I say go for it, you may find it will be the best thing she ever got..

Hugs,
jenn

I would also make sure she is registered somewhere where people can purchase the items for her and she can pick up at her local store she registered at.


Darlene

Wow!
Great idea. I agree with eveyone else, GO FOR IT!! 
I know my girls would appreciate that, infact, so would I.

Love, Karen B.

I think that you should go for it.  Both she and the baby will cheri**** forever.

What a thoughtful idea!

I don't have any kids, but the shower idea sure makes me want to have one. Just so I can have a shower, too! Have the shower, she will love it, If that was my daughter and you did that for her, I would be so happy that you thought that much of her to do such a great thing.

Read my lips Bekki...don't call her mom and do what you feel like doing.

I think it is a wonderful idea to make a scrapebook for her and let me tell you....that will mean more to her than any gift someone could send her for the baby.

I know it is not the same thing, but this past Christmas, I made these wonderful leather bound books of photo's that I took of my granchildren since actually before they were born. When my dil's and son's open those books, they all welled up with tears.

So even though you and your husbands family are not close to her and I get the feeling it is more because of distance, you should absolutely go for it! I think it is a super wonderful idea!!!! And no you are NOT stepping on anyone's toes!!! Sounds like her moma needs a swift kick! LOL

Do it, I think the idea rocks! Her needy mothers feelings are not your responsibility!

GREAT idea!


Shells