Something to think about

Yesterday I was whining, to myself, how much my life sucks.......
but then....................
There is this nurse at work. I don't know her very well, she works a differnent shift and we only see each other at change of shift. I have never heard anything thing bad or good about her. Trust if there was something bad, I am sure YOU would have heard. You know how the bad travels fast. Well last week, her hasband was killed, driving home from work. Yap, he found the only drunk driver in the state, and he lost. Leaving Jen and thier 6 kids alone (ages: 2 to 13). Then this past friday, while cooking dinner, Jen spaced out and set the house on fire. Darn near lost the whole house, as it is, they can not stay in it. Then she shows up to work yesteray, saying she can not stay home any longer. (they are staying with his family right now) She needs to work, to get new clothes for the kids, and to find a place to live. The ins. will only pay for some much on the house, if any thing, because she addmitted it was her fault.

Guess my life is not that bad when I compare it to others. She is a stong lady, and will get though this, but dang, I hate that anyone has to. She lost so much in such a short time, and yet she still smiles. She told me yesterday, I have to keep going, for the kids. We want our kids to go to college, and have a better live.  I will keep that promise that we made to each other. He is gone, but he didn't leave me, he was taken from me without reason.

WOW!!! I am going to start crying.............AGAIN.
How does your life compare?
OK that is my story for the day, sorry its not funny, but its the best I have right now.

Lu

One of the things I love so much about my job is how grounded the kids keep me.  There are many who are in group homes and foster care.  Whose parents just don't have enough and want them out working instead of getting an education. I bought a set of colored pencils last night for one of my last year's students because in a note to me he wrote that was all he wanted for Christmas.  He didn't get them.  His birthday is on the 15th and I am going to surprise him with them.  He always make beautiful pictures for me.  Even this year when I no longer have him in my classes.  I am reminded on a daily basis that it could always get worse and be grateful for today.  Yes I have struggles and issues but I would rather focus on my blessings and believe that God will handle the rest.

Thanks for this reminder.

Monica

Wow, I am so sorry for her loss..  What a rough road she is going down right now.. I will definitely keep her and her family in my prayers.

You know when I get into those moments when I feel my life SUCKS and nothing can go right, I always remember how GOOD I really have it..  There are so many others that are going through more than we can ever imagine.  It is easy to look at someone and think WOW he/she looks happy, when deep down inside they are going through something we hope to NEVER go through.

My son's Dad wa**** head on by a Drunk Driver.. He was NOT killed, but he now has the mental capacity of a teenager..  There were times I wished they would have just let him pass on during the 9 times his heart stopped. He is not the man I fell in love with and it ruined our lives. When he came out of his coma, he didn't remember us.. He knew who I was, but lost most of the years we were together, and didn't remember loving me.  He is unable to work, or be a productive member in this society..  He has now turned into an alcoholic and doesn't even see or call his son but once in a blue moon.. I tried to make it work for 8 years, but my heart could only take so much and I just had to move on.. I didn't deserve to be cheated on, lied to, and plain sh*t on.. At least he was able to do something right, and gave me a beautiful baby boy.. (who just turned 10)  It is just so hard to live with the aftermath of such a tragedy. He will go a year with out talking to us, and then call and tell me all about him and his current girlfriend.. I mean EVERYTHING (sex etc.) (He once called on our son's Birthday, and didn't even ask to talk to him or remember that it was his Birthday.)  I understand he doesn't realize that this is inappropriate, and when I bring it up, it doesn't last..  So even though he didn't die in that crash, he has been dead for years..

Any who, that is just one of my stories...  You can never judge a book by it's cover.. Even though someone smiles and appears to be happy, you never know what is really going on at home..

I hope you feel better soon Hun. We all go through our own struggles, just keep your head up, and I hope things get better.

Hugs,
Jenn

Wow Jenn! That breaks my heart to read that. I am so glad you have found your DH now, to be the man to your son that he needs in his life!

OPK now y'all have me in tears. Life isn't to bad here after all. Lu and Jenn thank you for sharing with us.

HUGS
JOY

WOW...how touching....

I so understand....

I got married at 19 and stayed married to the same person for 25 years.  After being cheated on several times and the receiver of lots of verbal abuse, I finally had the courage to leave.  Since my ex made 3 times what I did, I left him the house and didn't want to up root my kids so I moved into a 1 bedroom apt.  I needed time and space to sort through everything, which I did with lots of counseling.  I remarried 3 years later to the most wonderful man in the world.  Together we paid for 1/2 of my one daughter's college education, her bills and car payment to help her.  She stopped talking to me for reasons unknown to me (I have tried calling, sent letters, cards, and never a response.)  This past year she got married, I wasn't invited but all my cousins were.  She is now pregnant with twins, which I may never see. 

My youngest didn't talk to me for several years and out of the blue about 3 years ago, she called to apologize for the way she treated me.  I told her that I accepted her apology and that it was time to put the hard times behind us and move on.  At that time she was pregnant (unmarried with boyfriend, living in another state.  My ex had moved there and then decided to move to another state prior to her giving birth with his girlfriend.  Oh I forgot to mention he remarried and left wife no. 2 for girlfriend.  So, my wonderful husband and I moved them in with us, no room or board so that they and my new little grand baby could get on their feet.  After moving them out, letting them stay with us, buying lots of gifts for the baby, they decide they can't live with us anymore because my DH asks them to turn the TV down, to empty their clothes out of the washing machine and not run the dryer when no one is home.  So that's been almost 2 years ago, no call, no address, no contact with my grand baby.

I was SO much the June Cleaver mom, PTA president, cheer leading coach, everything for my kids and now, I'm totally expendable.  I feel used and saddened by all of this.  I have tried the calls, cards for birthdays and holidays, and not once have received a response.

A mom's heart has never been more broken.  I can't understand why.  The only salvation, is that I am married to the most wonderful man, who is kind, considerate, supportive and caring.  His family has embraced me like I was theirs all along.  My own family can't understand.  My parents passed away 6 days apart in 2001 and I can't help but thinking that if they were alive, none of this would have every happened.

I guess this is my cross to bear, and I pray to God every night for reconciliation. 

I thank you for allowing me to vent, because I am an only child, and my poor husband feels like there is nothing he can do, and really he can't.  It just sucks.

Hugs to all and thanks for the ears,

Barb

WOW!  I am sorry for you. Just leave the door open, they will have to return on there own. You are a good person,  They will come.

I wish you a better day, now since you got to say it all. (or most)

You are not a lone anymore. I will always be here for you.

Luana

Lu.

I so appreciated your post, because as of late, it has been weighing more on my mind, so it was very freeing to just let it out.

You are correct, they will have to return on their own.  I have done all I can do, it truly hurts to keep putting myself out there trying to make a mends, to have the door remain closed. 

I have finally accepted that this is not my choice, it's theirs, and it's their loss.  So, in a healthy way, I've chosen to move on with the good things in my life, my health, my weight and a more positive body image. 

It's sometimes tough to hear all the stories about folks with their grandkids as I so long to be part of their lives.  I have lived life honestly, I am a good person with a big heart and above all I have my husband who loves me for me.  I will survive.

I appreciate the family and friendships I have made on this board, it means more than anyone could ever know.

Thanks Lu again, you are a special person too.

Hugs,
Barb