What would it take

I think it's awesome that you shared your story Katrina, thank you. You have permission to pass along my story too.

I'm thinking about all this and it becomes more and more apparent to me that I HAVE A CHOICE.  I can not control what life will bring my way, (sickness, death, loss, failure, etc...) but I choose how I respond to disappointments. I can linger in the loss and the sadness or I can choose to make each day a new beginning. 

Choosing to make a new start does not diminish the value of those I lost. It does not erase their memory. In many ways I think it honors the life they had....by continuing to live, to celebrate, to love, to thrive. I often wonder how proud my dad would be to see his once obese daughter running half marathons, completing college, living and loving life.

The same is true when I fail at my eating and fitness. Today is a new day, how will I choose to live it?

I usually try and get in the holiday mood for my kids but my living situation for the last couple of years has made it really hard.  We lost our house a year and a half ago and have been living in a hotel since then.  It is really small and cramped so there is no where to put up a tree even if I wanted to.  I feel like I am robbing my kids of the Christmas that I would love to give them.  I don't have any family out here to go spend it with so that makes it even harder.  I may go to some friends this year but that is up in the air too.  I try really hard to make the best of it but it is not easy.  My kids say that as long as we are together, that is all that matters but I want more for them.  I want them to have the big, huge family get togethers that I had but that is not going to happen at all.  I am not really bah humbugish just not in a real big Christmas spirit.  I get sad going into stores and seeing all the decorations and going back to our room to nothing.  I told the kids when we get our house in a few weeks, i may just put up a Christmas tree for a while.  Even if it goes in my room, it may make me feel better.