Roulette1767’s Posts
I haven't been on this board in eons. Making a post now seems like a failure, but I have to remember that my starting weight on this journey was over 500 pounds. I find myself fluctuating now between 195 and 205 pounds, and sometimes creep up to 215, mostly due to water retention. I retain a lot of water in my legs. I've seen a cardiologist, and my primary doctor keeps track to make sure it's nothing more than water retention. I have no idea where it comes from. I take diuretics for it because otherwise I cannot walk properly.
I had gotten to the point where I was still working out, and of course, something happened to throw me back. I'm trying not to think in that aspect, but that's the way my mind runs lately. My mother died in January, and I just fell recently and fractured my femur, and it hurts.
What does this have to do with my weight and the diagnosis I had in 2008? I'll tell you I've only hit my goal weight once, and that was three years ago. I reached 152 pounds, but my mind was still. In 200+ pounds body dysmorphia, most likely once you've been as large as I was, as well, hell, everything in your mind is a bit crazy.
The reason I'm here is that my friend wants to try a month of liquid meals to help get back on track. I know you can't live like this. I know it's a quick fix, and I'll probably make the wrong decisions once I stop drinking, but I want to ask the board what their go-to meal and drink options are, as well as what they consider the best protein-rich drinks.
I want to start with a high-protein option, perhaps 25g or 30 g, that I drink four times a day in addition to hot coffee, black and white tea, and plenty of water. I will continue to take my vitamins as I have since 2008, and I am currently out of the race when it comes to exercise because I fell and hurt my femur. Strangest thing in summertime, and I don't feel like eating a single thing, so liquid right about now, would work.
I then plan to slowly introduce soft foods back into my pouch, which, believe me or not, is still small. I had a gastric doctor look at it, and he couldn't believe it was still the size of a golf ball. My main problem is that my medications caused me to gain water and weight, and I have about 10 pounds of metal in my body from a knee replacement, so back to the most essential part.
Recommendations please. I know this is the wrong route for some, but it's something I need to try for one month and then get my act together.
If you have questions or are curious, please don't hesitate to ask, and I'll be happy to answer. However, if you are reading this post and have the inclination to educate or criticize me for wanting to do this for a month, please keep scrolling. I'm not here for that. I'm here to share and to learn. Thank you to those who will help me. I want to return to my goal weight of 150 pounds, which I know I can achieve because I've done it before.
And I am aware that it's not all about the numbers. It's about your health. Physical and mental combined.

I'm working on the last 20lbs and they are creeping off. But, I'm still determined. Looking into a second job is the route I'm going to have to take. Thank you for your understanding and support. I've got to get a smaller size in shapewear and keep on doing what I've been doing. You've given me HOPE! Thank you so much.

I must admit. I haven't been on the board for years. Life threw me for a loop after my 2008 DS. And it seems to still be twisting me around.
My epiphany took place right before the pandemic. A gastric surgeon took a look at my pouch with a barium swallow. I was expecting pure hell. That I had stretched it and was in need of surgery or a band, which he recommended. When I looked at the screen, I realized it was still this tiny, little pouch. And the problem wasn't the surgery, it was ME!
I've been given a tool that took me from 450+ to my present-day 160. I realized at that moment, that I had to step up my game. The ball was in my court and I couldn't blame surgery failure. So I put on my big girl panties and signed up for a workout program at the YMCA. And began to powerwalk. I was 200lbs when I started to take control. I got down to 180 when the pandemic hit. I maintained the loss through the lockdown. Presently, I walk and need to get back to strength training again. I'm using the excuse of not having a car to get there and I recognize what I am doing. I'm holding myself accountable.
I look at my body in the mirror and realize that over 10 years out I need plastic surgery and will never be able to afford it. I've lost my breasts. I need a tummy tuck and lipo on my behind. As well as my thighs and whatever the accumulation of fat on my vaginal area is called. (I didn't know your body could do this!)
I have a doctor in mind. But, would need my family to take out a loan to help me. Not going to happen.
In the present situation, with my desire to lose 20lbs and get rid of the remaining fat deposits on my body. Leave me depressed and feeling helpless. All those wasted years. I can't dwell on the past, it gets me nowhere but deeper into depression.
I'm at a loss. I'm trying to accept the naked body in the mirror. But I hate my image, more than myself. No one is going to want me. I'm afraid of intimacy for this reason.
I'm waaaaay past insurance coverage. I have no rashes. The weight does make me feel unbalanced, especially the hump of fat on my behind.
Any information or ideas are welcome. I'm feeling so lost and so helpless at this moment.

Thank you. I'm learning that daily. I needed to hear that from a 'real' person. Doctors have just shrugged off my questions or just don't believe I am trying.

I had growths on my thyroid and had to have it removed and it took a year to get to a proper level of synthroid. I've read up on how your metabolism works and it seems no matter what I do, exercising to the best of my ability, avoiding certain carbs and sugar. My weight is stuck at 250 - 258. Each scale I get on says something different. My endo is the one I go by now. My primary, whom I see for my monthly check ups, always has me at a higher weight, no matter what I do or wear.
I've decided to go back to the beginning and see what happens. Eat like my DS is new and avoid all the things that have snuck 'back' into my diet.
I have Sjögren's Syndrome, which causes chronic pain for me, so I take meds for that and then there are meds for my other illness, which causes weight gain. Basically, it comes down to what I put in my mouth.
When food made me nauseous for three months I lost 10lbs. I've decided to up the protein, which is good btw and have a salad (the salad will have tuna with mayo for fat) and soup for lunch and a protein for dinner. Breakfast is the hardest, so I'll do a shake.
I'll switch it up with different varieties, but I want to keep it simple. My blood work is good. I keep up with my vitamins, now just to commit to my meals.
I have a conference coming up and I'm gonna have to watch myself.
As far as exercise, I can walk and do aquacise and free weights. I lack in motivation, I admit that. But I'll do what I can.
Wish me luck.
