You may have noticed...

Yeah thats right I have changed my name again. I have some things going on in my life right now that are out of my control and even my understanding. There is the death of my goddaughter/niece, that hurts. But the way her mother and grandmother are orchestrating things is ******g me off to a level few can fathom. When I went to the service things started to really affect me when I realized I had a toybox bigger than the casket she was buried in. I know my nerves are starting to come into play what with me going back in to start the process again to apply for WLS through Dr. Tom. God I hope that is approved. I have let my expectations get to high and I am allready experiencing some letdowns. Oh well I will get past that. Then on top of all that this is the busiest time of the year for my work. This week alone if I don't go in for a few hours on my birthday, I will still end up with about 75 hours from monday to sunday. And they are all ready begging me to go ahead and come in on my birthday.If I do make that around 85 hours for the week. And then the next week will be more of the same, maybe the month. 1 year in the past I had ended up with 370 hours in the month of January alone. I might try to do that again that way I have some money saved up should the graces of my insurance bless me with good fortune. SO if you don't hear from me for a bit don't fret I am probably sleeping. If you look outside and it is dark rest assured I am at my job listening to some trance, depeche mode, Nine inch nails or something that is dark like my spirit that has a beat that hits. Just remember that I think of you all as friends, family even, but this black sheep has some feelings/demons to get rid of right now. I might even pop into the Ymca to beat up on some poor exercise equipment. IF I hear any good news on my WLS you all are just a post and a phone call away. Until then DB fading away.

Hi Buddha.................IT WILL BE OK,let me asure you that when you think it cant get no worse,there is always someone worse off than us......i have been through some pretty trying times here lately, i was so sure that i had this wls in the bucket,but there are days where it kicks my butt....but i have to keep on going and that is what has made me healthier,i use to set here and just think of myself as a pitty party and i was always sick.But after i got of my but and put things in perspective i have won!!! But i no that you ae hurting and for that i am very sorry. It will get better and i will keep you in my prayers that this upcoming yr will bring you all that you deserve.......you just get sleep and just drop on when you can ok.....................vickie

Hey, DB, don't fade too far we'd miss ya. Give me an Adam a holler sometime. We're always here and usually up till 10 or so. Hugs to ya Ange

OMG Ryan I am ss. If you need to talk gimie a ring ok. As for the surgery keep thinking positive you are so not our black sheep geesh. You are family ya nut. I have to go right now but take care and tell em to f off it's your bday got it????????

I hope you know also that when you fade you are not forgotten . If you need a friend or a shoulder we can be your rock. feel free to contact me .... I know your struggles....