You know you've had Gastric Bypass when...
Happy Saturday everyone! I found this on the Main Message board and thought I'd share. I certainly could relate to a lot of them....how about you?! 
You know you've had Gastric Bypass Surgery When.........
* "I have a date" does not mean you're going out.
* You have baby food in the house and no baby.
* Saying "I'm a loser" is a good thing.
* "Welcome to the other side" doesn't include death.
* New clothes fall off in a week.
* You get excited about hand me downs.
* The scale at Wal-Mart no longer says "one at a time please".
* "Jus****er for me please".
* When you get excited that your incision was "only 4 inches".
* When the word lap has nothing to do with a strip club.
* Other women are calling you names behind your back.
* When you are glared at in the plus size department because you don't "belong there".
* When you really don't have a thing to wear.
* You have to prove you are the person on the driver's license.
* You start being in the pictures - not behind the camera.
* You want to hug everyone fat and hand them your surgeon's card.
* You are never parted from a bottle of water
* When you order a doggy bag at the same time as your meal.
* When the only way your nipples are where they belong is to roll them up, position them with your bra and secure with a ponytail holder.
* When you go to the mall and take the first available space instead of circling 20 minutes for one closer to the door.
* You truly are a "cheap date".
* When one drink makes you flipping floozy!
* When you run to the door and don't hear a flapping sound.
* Vitamins feel like a meal.
* You've just lost 100 lbs and run into a high school friend who asks "did you change your hair?"
* You can cross your legs... both of them
* Instead of a Wonder Bra you need a Wonder Where They Went Bra
* When your obsession from food turns to your scale.
* They no longer call 911 for the Jaws of life to extricate you from a turnstile.
* No more Velcro shoes
* When your Stairmaster is no longer used for drying your fine washables
* your mother says "You don't eat enough"
* When your doctor looks you in the eye and says "I know you will have success with this."
* Having sex your husband complains that your hip bones are poking him.
* You can wear corduroy pants without igniting a fire
* You safety pin your underwear
* Someone phones and thinks your husband is sneaking around with some skinny mistress
* Cannot blame the cat/dog for shedding
* Cancel your Lane Bryant Credit Card
* 3 Lean Cuisines a week and that's your total grocery purchase
* The kids wonder what happened to the cake and cookie god...did she die???
You know you've had Gastric Bypass Surgery When.........
* "I have a date" does not mean you're going out.
* You have baby food in the house and no baby.
* Saying "I'm a loser" is a good thing.
* "Welcome to the other side" doesn't include death.
* New clothes fall off in a week.
* You get excited about hand me downs.
* The scale at Wal-Mart no longer says "one at a time please".
* "Jus****er for me please".
* When you get excited that your incision was "only 4 inches".
* When the word lap has nothing to do with a strip club.
* Other women are calling you names behind your back.
* When you are glared at in the plus size department because you don't "belong there".
* When you really don't have a thing to wear.
* You have to prove you are the person on the driver's license.
* You start being in the pictures - not behind the camera.
* You want to hug everyone fat and hand them your surgeon's card.
* You are never parted from a bottle of water
* When you order a doggy bag at the same time as your meal.
* When the only way your nipples are where they belong is to roll them up, position them with your bra and secure with a ponytail holder.
* When you go to the mall and take the first available space instead of circling 20 minutes for one closer to the door.
* You truly are a "cheap date".
* When one drink makes you flipping floozy!
* When you run to the door and don't hear a flapping sound.
* Vitamins feel like a meal.
* You've just lost 100 lbs and run into a high school friend who asks "did you change your hair?"
* You can cross your legs... both of them
* Instead of a Wonder Bra you need a Wonder Where They Went Bra
* When your obsession from food turns to your scale.
* They no longer call 911 for the Jaws of life to extricate you from a turnstile.
* No more Velcro shoes
* When your Stairmaster is no longer used for drying your fine washables
* your mother says "You don't eat enough"
* When your doctor looks you in the eye and says "I know you will have success with this."
* Having sex your husband complains that your hip bones are poking him.
* You can wear corduroy pants without igniting a fire
* You safety pin your underwear
* Someone phones and thinks your husband is sneaking around with some skinny mistress
* Cannot blame the cat/dog for shedding
* Cancel your Lane Bryant Credit Card
* 3 Lean Cuisines a week and that's your total grocery purchase
* The kids wonder what happened to the cake and cookie god...did she die??? 
I saw that on the board and had to laugh. I am still getting Lane Bryant catalogs..you would think after nearly 4 yrs of not ordering they would give up!! but each ones says..THIS IS YOUR LAST CATALOG!...
Oh my gosh pictures..hated them!
my daughter and hubby are police officers..so one day at a dinner with a bunch of bariatric buds my daughter, who knows them all very well...says..ok everyone pull out your drivers license..so we did. She then said..."It is illegal to carry a drivers license with a weight more than 10 lbs off. so if anyone here has one that is a true weight speak up!" we sat there laughing so hard. there is a picture on my license when I weighed over 300 lbs...but my weight said 175..LOL....I had it renewed this past bday with a true weight ( much lower than 175 ) and new pic..finally!
Oh Brenda, that's priceless about the drivers license!
The last time I had mine renewed the lady looked at me and said "It says you weigh 250lbs..." (I was more like 400-450lbs at the time). I said "Oh yeah, I'm a little more than that now. About 275." She just gave me this "yeah right " look, but put it down! I get mine renewed in November and one of my goals is to be below 275 so I can actually tell them, honestly, that I'm BELOW what is on my license!!
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