Ot:How can I be a better wife & mom?

Hello everyone. Today has been one of those rainy, cloudy, moody blues days. Must be for Adam too cause he's in one of those moods. I don't know what to do to be the best wife and mom I can be. I love Adam and I love my kids. Allison is 5 and I've mostly always been a stay at home mom with her. I've been lucky that I've been able to do that. But she's a 5 yr old kid and she's not perfect. She talks and jabbers all the time. I've always just assumed this was normal. She's always talking about something. Adam and I try to go out once a month just the 2 of us but since my mom got her job we haven't been able too cause I don't have another sitter. He's getting pretty stressed out cause we haven't been able to go out. I feel like I'm pulled between the 2 of them sometimes. I'm a mom and I'll always be a mom. He gets so tempermental with her. Yes, she's a kid. She's no where near perfect. She gets on my nerves sometimes too. I just don't know what he expects me to do. The nights when he's off work and home she sometimes watches tv in our room to give us time together, then when she goes to bed I try to stay up later with him so we can spend more time together. I think todays gotten to him cause its cold, he can't get outside and piddle around. It just seems like she can't even look at him tonight without him blowing up over something. He expects her to be quiet all the time. Thats not going to happen. What can I do? How can I be a better wife and mom? I know I need to find a regular sitter so we can go out more. When we first met it was just the 2 of us for so long. Adam was a trucker so we were in his semi 5 days a week always together. Even off the road we always were together. We had James every other weekend but other than that it was just the 2 of us. Then 2 yrs after we married we had her. I don't know. He's down and out tonight and in a cranky mood so I guess that puts me in one too. He finally got so irritated he went out to the garage to listen to his music and "drink a beer". Oh well. Maybe that will relax him till Tues night when we can go out. I know I'm not the only one with a cranky husband at times or a daughter that jabbers constantly. Any tips? Hugs and Goodnight Ange

I don't have any advice Ange, but just wanted to say my observations of you so far is that you're a fantastic wife and mother. Please don't let one blues day get you to thinking that you're not everything good to the both of them and the rest of your family. It's just one of those days and when you find yourself questioning who you are, remind yourself that it's not you, but cir****tances. I hope that you both can resume your date nights and find a babysitter. Mike and I have our date nights too, even though we don't have children, it's very important to us to keep date night a tradition. It helps relationships, not harm them. You're doing a fabulous job; ok? Hugs m'lady, it will get better! Dee

Thanks Dee, I can always count on u to bring me back up! He came back in last night in a better mood, tipsy actually. I think the weather and him not being able to get out side is alot of it too. We do need to go out more often. Hopefully I'll find someone reliable around here to babysit every now and then. Thanks Ange

Hi Ange, i just wanted to say that i am not a person to but in but maybe something is going on,maybe Adam is jealous and he wants you to himself.I have a family memeber that is jealous over his kids and he acts that way.But you and Adam do need alone time also.I put my Samantha before me and hubby,but one day my little princess will be GONE.When she finds that perfect man,i no he will have her heart. But me and hubby go out 1 time a month and we leave her for the night. Do you have any freinds that will keep her? I only trust my mother-in-law with mine lol. But i no that when i have so much on my back i get grouchy,so maybe that whats up with him.Well if you need me,let me no,and thanks for the email i am on the right path now. I just have to keep things to myself because sometimes i get nasty email lol. you take care and keep your head high.........go give that baby girl and hubby a BIG HUG!!! It will work out.........................Vickie

Hey, Vickie, how are u feeling? He is jealous, he even says he is. Thats why I really need to find someone besides mom who can keep her every now and then. Allison's constant talking does get to me sometimes but mostly she cracks me up. Him too. Unless he's just in a bad mood she normally doesn't get on his nerves as bad as last night. He came back in tipsy last night and in a better mood. I think also when it gets warmer out and he can go out to the gargage it will be better too. Nasty emails? Good grief. I don't have it in me to be nasty. Someone replied to one of my post last week on the main boards and wasn't really nasty but just kind of a smart alec. I don't even remember what the post was about, but I remember their tone cause it hurt my feelings. Oh well. Can't please everyone. I try too hard sometimes to please everyone cause I'm such a big hearted softie. I'm not as bad as I used to be about letting people run over me. I just want u to feel better. Whatever u gots to do, only u can know what is best for u and no one should put u down for wanting to feel better and get past this crap. Take care of yourself!

Hi Angela. Here's what I think. I think that because you care enough to ASK how you can be a better wife and mother shows that you already ARE a great wife and a loving mom. We all go through this. I have four kids (8, 9, 9, 11). My husband works as a Special Ed. teacher and goes to college and I work too. It's so hard when our spouses are grumpy!!! I think men have a harder time (in general) with the kids. I think we are gifted by God to have more patience. What often happens (as in my case) is that we expend so much energy on the family, we don't take care of our needs. And that's what your husband is feeling too!!!!! I'm working on trying to find a sitter too for the same reason. Once a month seems challenging, but we need to do even more together. I'm trying to rekindle the romance by doing little things (sending him emails at work, giving him neck rubs, making his lunch and putting notes in it). He doesn't always tell me he likes it, but I know he does. Also (and this is a hard one, but it's important), you and your husband should be "getting away" by yourselves for at least two days together at a minimum every six months. A week is even better. I've insisted that my husband and I take cruises by ourselves twice now. It's been expensive and a lot of work to coordinate care for the kids, pets, etc. But I still hold those memories so close. And I remind my husband of those times too. It's not perfect, but at least it's something. I'll be praying for your family too! Karen in Kentucky

Hi Karen, u r so right. I need to find a sitter that doesn't mind keeping a kid that jabbers all the time lol. Adam is getting a new motorcycle and he wants us to go on weekend trips to the Smokies and stuff. I'm looking forward to that. A Cruise would be great. Take care Angela

Heya, I read your post and have dealth with the same things with my hubby. Ours is older now (14) but when he was little I went through much of the same thing you are now. Here is what I think. Please don't think I am being mean or anything I really am not. The problems not you. From reading your post I would think it is Adams. When I was going through this with Kenny it was a ordeal. He wanted Cody to act like he was full grown...he was a KID and acted like one. Kenny and I had our date nights etc, but I also set a rule that twice a month Kenny and Cody were to go out without me. Once they would go do what Cody wanted to do and then go do what Kenny wanted to do on the next day out. They had to spend no less than 5 hours together by themselves. Within a month our house was a much more peaceful place. Just a idea! Good Luck!

That is a great idea! I can't wait to run this by him and actually get him to doing it. I know we need our date nights too. I miss them when we don't get to go out but he also needs to spend daddy sissy time together with her. I think this is a great idea! Thank u!