"WHY DON'T YOU JUST....?"

Ok, I need to gripe. Everytime I tell someone that I am going to have WLS they react negatively. It is always "Oh, you don't need to loose THAT much weight." (I need to lose 120#). Or "All you need to do is diet.", well duh!!, I do believe I have done that like a million times!! And the best one came from a really skinny, fit friend who said "All you need to do is shut you mouth and don't eat it.". Wow, now why didn't I ever think of that? Why does everyone see WLS as this horrible drastic surgery and when I have it I will surely die of complications? Why does no one realize that HTN, diabetes, heart disease, etc are much worse? Even my friends that are overweight also are appaled that I would go to such measures and some of them are nurses and should be more educated than that. People are really getting on my last little frazzled nerve. I'm gonna blow up and take no prisoners at the next "why don't you just..."

I know exactly what you mean. I must say that my friends, true friends, have been very supportive in my decision. But I did have my orthopedic surgeon tell me to push away from the table a little sooner. Okay - like if I could that I obviously wouldn't be as large as I am!!! People can be so stupid.......... Come here where you know you will always get the support you need!

I know where u r coming from on this crap. I used to hear it from my parents, Adams dad, etc. My personal fav is Adam's dad, my father in law, used to say all the time why don't u just push away from the table? This coming from a man who weighs over 300 pounds and has diabetes bad enough he's on insulin shots. I used to tell him and anyone else who'd say this crap that if I could lose the weight by other means, do they honestly think I'd risk my life having major surgery? I had this surgery for me. I love my hubby and kids but this I did for me. Adam was and is supportive and I'm grateful for that but the choice to have wls was mine and mine alone and honestly when people said this crap it bothered me at times but mostly I was just happy to have the chance to finally lose weight and I don't care anymore what they say or said. They don't say it now that I'm 2 yrs post op and have lost over 165 pounds. Good luck to ya and just tell em like it is. Don't hold back. Its your life, your choice. Ange

I can completely relate. After telling a friend how the surgery would help me lose weight (that my stomach would be reduced to the size of an egg or smaller, she said, "Can't you just pretend that your stomach is that size and eat like that?" WTF?? That's worked so well in the past! That's why I weighed 359 pounds! Of course, I now know that it was because she was afraid that she wouldn't be the "thin" person in our group, which is now correct. Of course, she still won't take any dieting advice from me, as she still is under the impression that fat grams are the most important thing in dieting, and that marshmellows are a good, healthy snack! (They're fat free, she says...she doesn't realize that sugar turns to fat if you don't burn it off, which she doesn't!) Try not to let it bother you. Tell people this is what your doctor wanted and tell them when they get a medical degree they can comment. Until then, keep their opinions to themselves! Kim 359/172/150 22 pounds until goal!

Hey Jessica you are not alone. I know I got the same remarks before my surgery which was 17mths ago. Everybody has a terrible story of someone they know. But for me those same people became some of my biggest cheerleaders when the wt started coming off and some of them seperated themselves from me when I did get thin. All you can do is give them information such as OH to educate them. For the most part people just love us and don't want anything to happen. They have no idea what it feels like to be dying such a slow death. The phrase I loved was, "Just act like you had the surgery, you know just eat that way." People just don't have a clue. I too had all those disease. Even though Diabetes can not be cured I no longer show any signes. My A1c are always normal. No longer take 3 BPmedications. But the best is I am healthy. You hang in there. You are doing great. Jane

Get use to it cause that's exactly what I heard! Try to keep your cool & focus on the fact that this is saving your life. You're not doing it to fit in a size 4 but to improve your quality of life. Yes there is risks with this surgery, like any surgery but you know what will happen if you don't have it. You can lose your vision or leg from diabetes or have a heart attack from HBP on & on. If that doesn't work, tell them to kiss your soon-to-be-shrinking ass!! My best revenge came when a busy body @ work asked me how much weight I'd lost & I told her. She said "Well I'm not going to do THAT just to lose some weight. I can always diet." I said "That's great Linda. So how's the dieting going??!!" She walked away!! If your friends aren't supportive in your effort to prolong your life, maybe you should get new friends.

Seems like everyone has their 2 cents worth of advice. I think I'm going to keep it on the hush hush for the most part. If I am discussing it at work I have gotten pretty much support (and I work on a unit that only gets the roux-n-y's that have complications!) I just tell them my Dad had his first heart attack at 49 and I have already had colon cancer. They pretty much shut up after that!