Consult done Friday

Well I had my initial consult with Dr. S on Friday. I was a nervous wreck. My hubby and mom went with me. I wanted them to be able to ask any questions they had. When we first went in, they went in one room & I went with the nurse to weigh. My mom said my husband asked her if she was prepared to lose me! He thinks if I have any surgery it means automatic instant death. I think my nervousness and fears must have shown, as well as my hubby's trepidation. Dr S asked me if I had considered the Lap-Band as it's risks were lower. The Lap-Band was actually my first thought, but when I researched it further, I realized it would not work for me as I am not a huge quantity eater, but a poor quality eater. (Which I told Dr. S) I need something with immediate and severe consequences for the slip-up I know will inevitably come (sugar). Dr. S told my hubby he would not talk anyone into surgery and that he would not decide which kind. So anyway I went ahead and signed up for the program. I told my hubby we can change our minds up to the moment they put me out. I don't want to delay any longer. The lady at the front says, "Lap-Band, right?" and I said NO, Roux-n-y. I hope they did not go ahead and put Lap-Band all over my paperwork. I truly do not want to even bother going under anesthesia and the surgery for a procedure that I know is not going to work for me. I feel like it's all or nothing time for me and I don't want to play around. So anyway, hubby and I talked afterwards and he said whatever makes me happy. I just told him that with my co-morbidities and my history of fatness, I didn't know what else to do. I don't want to look back in 10 years and say gee I should have had that done. Now I weigh 100 pounds more and have had a heart attack (or whichever condition gets worse...) So anyway hubby is planning to come to all the meetings with me that he is allowed to attend, so some of you Florence people may see us! Melanie g.

Melanie: Welcome! Let me start by saying that Dr. Tom is the best! So, no worries! I know that is much easier said than done. I was in your shoes just a few short months ago. Between Dr. Tom, Taryn, Christina and April (and all the rest at Tri-State Surgical) we've got the best all around program. I chose to go with the RNY instead of the Band for the exact same reason as you. I am also very lucky, in my opinion, that if there is any sugar whatsoever in food that I put in my mouth I know it immediately! First of all my tastes have changed so much that I can't stand the flavor of sweet. I have no desire to touch junk foods or to cheat. Life is good! Many blessings as you begin your journey, and I'll be saving a spot for you on the losers bench! My hubby is beginning the program now and will be starting his classes this Monday, perhaps I'll see you around the office! Take care and keep in touch! Kathy

Kathy, I should be in class tomorrow evening if nothing happens..will you be attending with your hubby?...I hope we can meet. Are you going to attend the bariatric fair next month?

Brenda: Yes, I will be attending all the groups with my hubby. I will also be at the support group on Tuesday. Are you speaking? Do you know what the forum in this month? As far as the "Fair", I'm uncertain at the moment because I am supposed to be in Vegas for business (not returning until late Saturday evening). If anything changes, I'll definitely be there! Anything for more info and to support Tri-State and Dr. Tom! See you Monday night and Tuesday night! Kathy

I will be speaking a little bit about compliance with vitamins as well as telling a bit about my own journey..I won't take up that much time so I believe Taryn is going to open the floor for discussion as well as talking about the event ...it should be a good meeting. I am going to have some samples to give out ... I will also be there in the docs class, or did I say that already? I am getting old and can hardly remember my name..lol Brenda

Melanie, first let me congratulate you on your decision to have surgery. Second let me tell you that you made an excellent choice not only in a surgeon but the program as a whole. I have spent a great deal of time one on one with Dr. Tom, I had the great privelege of attending surgery with him on several occasions..his skills are awesome as for bed side manner, he is the best..He didn't do my original surgery but had operated on me two times in the last several months for other unrelated problems. I am often in his class or speaking at the post-op group meeting (I will be attending this Tues evening) Dr. Tom and I know each other very well, I can honestly say he is one of the most compassionate men I have ever met. Just this last week my father passed away due to complications of cancer.. I spoke to Dr. Tom over the phone while I was still standing in my dads hospital room only minutes after he was pronounced...again this Friday A.M., he took time out to explain some of my fathers complications and eased my mind that he is in much better place today. 2 and 1/2 yrs ago I met the doc..he took me under his wing and taught me everything I know about bariatric surgery. Since that time I have spoken to many patients and families who were a bit nervous about the procedure, helping them prepare.. I would be more than happy to do the same for you, with your husband and or mother. Just remember this is surgery and not all surgeries can be perfect, so it's very important to us as patients to take responsibility when it comes to following the rules pre-op as well as post-op..taking care of ourself and learning to work the tool Dr. Tom gives you... Take care and I if I am in your class be sure to introduce yourself to me.. Brenda

Welcome Melanie! First let me tell you that the fears about this surgery being an automatic death sentence is quite popular amongst family members and surgery seekers themselves. I know, for me, I had written a will out and right up to that very moment on my surgery day I was afraid this was *it* for me. Thank God I am a drama queen and the *it* part didn't turn out to be true. I've not had any complications and am doing great. Of course, that's not to say complications still can't arise and that the surgery does carry some risks. I think you've done the math already though, in that you realize the lifestyle you're leading now, with the co-morbidities is likely more dangerous than having the surgery. I've heard great things about Dr. Tom and I am certain that he'll take very good care of you. My husband was worried for me too having this surgery. We both went to the initial seminar at our clinic and he ended up having the surgery too! Basically what I'm trying to say is, when your husbands initial fears are put at ease, and he see's your commitment to this life-altering-change, he'll be alright. Now my parents on the other hand...but that's another story! Take care and good luck! Dee P.S. If you have any further questions, please feel free to contact me. I'd be happy to answer from my own experiences.

I do not know Dr. Tom but what ever surgery you have .. this is a great group to support you ... here's wishing the best to you.... Char

Thank you for all of your support. Hopefully the classes will help alleviate the fears of sudden instant death (on my hubby's part.) I just really want to be able to do some 'stuff' like ride bikes with the kiddos or go hiking. I already KNOW it will be a difficult road for me, as it is for everyone that ends up going this route & giving up a major source of comfort and joy-food! (or in my case; JUNK food!) Surely being able to be more active with my children is going to feel better than doughnuts, right?! In any case, hubby will be coming to some of the meetings. I may have to veto it @ some point; I think his nervousness rubs off on my and I end up wanting to make HIM feel more comfortable instead of paying attention to what I need to learn. Thanks! Melanie g.

Hi Melanie, I know what you mean....death was high on my list of concerns too! But what it came down to me for was weighing the risks of surgery against the risks of remaining obese. I was looking at a lot of serious, life threatening illnesses if I didn't get my weight under control, so for me surgery was the answer. I'm not saying it's the answer for everyone.....but it was the right choice for me personally. When I first went to see Dr. Tom, I was barely walking. For my consult, I parked on the upper level lot and walked through the revolving door and immediately had to sit down because I was breathing hard and my back was hurting so bad. Then I went down to his office and again I was breathing hard and could barely walk. Now after having lost a little over 100lbs....I can walk for miles with no problem. I look forward to going hiking with my friends, I can play with my nieces and nephews again, I can go shopping again! It's definitely changed the quality of my life. The classes were a HUGE help to me before surgery. You can ask all those questions you've thought of since your consultation. Don't be afraid to ask any questions....that's what the meetings are for. Food was my best friend for years. I was terrified of having to give up my best friend and wondering how I'd ever replace it. Well.....I don't know how it is for others, but for me....it wasn't as hard as I thought. I went into this knowing that this was my last chance to truly be successful at weight loss. Dr. Tom has given me a wonderful tool and I want to do everything I can to use it to MY advantage. That means following his program completely. So part of it could be my attitude....could be how tastes change after surgery....could be a combination of a lot of things, but I very seldom crave foods anymore and I've lost my taste for sweets. I really think Hostess stock took a huge hit the past four months because I haven't been keeping them in business! Really the only time I crave food now is when I eat carbs...I want more carbs, which is why I try to avoid carbs at all costs. The only other time I've really noticed that I have severe cravings is when I have PMS. I try to beat the cravings by drinking even more water than I normally do (I usually get in at least 70oz a day). I'll be at the class on Monday night so if you'd like to talk....stop me. I'm happy to tell you anything about my experience.....I'm an open book. Chris