What did I do?

I am 2 weeks post op. I go back to work next week. I have been grieving all week about what I have done to myself. I can't eat...well 2 oz 3 x per day. I have raging bad breath from only eating meat. I am regretful and tearful about having this surgery. I know this is a normal reaction but when do I get to start enjoying life again? I don't even enjoy it as much as I did the day before surgery. I need some strong words of encouragement. Sarah

You are grieving the loss of food. I felt like I was being punished too. It wil pass. As your diet is expanded you will feel that you have more options. The biggest thing for me was that I still had the stress in my life that I allowed to drive me to eat. I had to remove alot of this stress to get through the recovery period. Get up and get moving! This will make you feel better physically and you will occupy your brain with something other than thinking of all the food you can't have. Sherryl

OH Sarah I know how you feel...I so went through it. I was mad at the world, and I was so depressed. I will tell you this it does get easier and better. I am 4 months out, I still deal with my food addiction nearly every day, but I am getting really good at saying no thanks. Have you began an exercise routine. It helps, you start feeling metter physically and makes eating healthier an easier chore. That first month is rough, but we are hear for you. You have made a choice that will make your life more fullfilling in the near future. You are so brave and tough, and this hard work will bring such great rewards. You are AWESOME...AND YES YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Miranda

I am still too weak to start exercising. Dr. says no aerobics for 6 weeks. I know I need to get through the next 2 weeks and things should be better. On thing is I am afraid I am the ONE patint this won't work on. I am afraid if I don't start losing lots of weight it will start slowing down and I won't lose. I am angry because I am eating so little. I am going to make this work but hard to be patient.Thanks for the words.

Sarah, I haven't had my surgery yet (scheduled for 6/1/07) so I don't know how comforting I can be since I haven't been there yet, but I share the same irrational fears that you have. I am scared that I'll be the one person that doesn't respond to surgery. I know that this stems from all of the failed diet attempts of my past and I recognize that it is irrational. Don't give up on yourself. I know with your determiniation (I can hear it through your posts) that you will start to see results soon. Good luck sweetie. Lori Russell

I think every person here thought the same thing, I remember worrying it wouldn't work for me either. But it does work, how well you do after is all you need to worry about. Finding that lifestyle of eating and exercising that fits into your every day life. I realize at 2 weeks out you can't exercise as of yet, but the weather is great..take a walk, your energy will return quickly once you start moving...but take it slow. small walks that will lead to bigger ones. good luck and if you want to talk to someone...don't hesitate to call on me. Brenda

Sarah, sometimes it's hard for me to remember back that far...to me this was almost like having a baby....I was in pain and Cranky...cussed my hubby for getting me pregnant..and cried.."get this thing out of me"..lol but once I had her in my arms I forgot what I had been through... Ok so you won't have that bundle of joy to be thankful for..but what you will have is an incredible new life. I kept asking myself, where will I be this time next year?..where will I be by Christmas?.. once you see the pounds dropping off you will begin to feel better every day about your decision..I promise! start a journal or diary..type away when you are upset or down...start reading back. It's very helpful to others as you get further out because I promise you will forget how awful you feel today..then a year from now you will be here telling someone else.."it does get better!" just remember to sip sip sip...eat bites not meals for now..you will do fine. Keep us posted.! Brenda

Sarah sorry you feel that way. But it will get better, just work with your doctor on this. I was shocked when I went back in to the doctor after nearly two weeks and found I was done 30 lbs all ready. But to your problem of the mourning of the food, that is something I never had thank god. IT's to the point now that I almost have to schedule eating on my pda to remember to eat. Give it time you will lose. and the mourning feeling will go away I have heard.

Thanks to everyone for their words. Fortunately after changing my attitude a bit, getting off the couch and buying a different protein shake, I am feeling much better. I had a great day today. I went shopping with my husband and we went to a cafe and sat and talked. I am going back to work tomorrow and I think it will help kickstart my routine. I am down 23 lbs today. I know I shouldn't weigh everyday but I can't help it right now. Thanks for everything. Sarah

Hi Sarah; Sherryl Wilson (posted above me) is a good friend of mine. I remember her telling me after her surgery that she felt like she was being punished. (Esp when she would take the kiddos to Wendy's or something and she could not get what they did.) Let me tell you that NOW (I think she is 8 months out or so) she goes out to eat with me and has a pretty "normal" life. Obviously with some adjustments, but she lives her life. Her life does not revolve around her surgery; she just incorporated the changes into her everyday life. She does what she wants and goes where she wants. She ALWAYS has a bottle of water or TEA with her! She is a TEA FREAK! LOL! I imagine I will be just like you and have some SERIOUS GRIEVING!!! I will REALLY miss my sweets and sodas; that is just how it is. They are killing me, but I will miss them. Think of it as an abusive relationship maybe?!? Food; he was awful to me, but I will miss him anyway. Good riddance, but still some mourning. I'm sure Sherryl would be happy to email with you if you need one on one with someone who has been there. MElanie g.