I've gained

 finally broke down and went and saw my family dr today. I'd been putting it off and putting it off but these dizzy, funny feeling spells have been driving me nuts. I've fought sinus infections all summer long. My dr says that I should stay on the augmentin and meclizine and he put me on one claritin once a day for allergys. My inner or middle ear is inflamed from all the sinus, allergy issues. I've had alot of sinus pressure, headaches, dizzyness, wooziness. I just plain feel weird and its scary. Also I've got sort of a huge confession to make. I've gained 30 pounds. I've been grazing, eating sugars, I know what I'm doing and I keep telling myself I need to get back on track but its taken a scare like this (that my diabetes is more than likely back or flamed up again) to shake me up. I have to have a physical next week. I skipped out on my 2 yr appt with Dr Shina because I'd gained and he's been so good to me, him and Holly, I didn't want them to be disappointed in me. I haven't failed and if someone wants to flame me and say I have, well its a free world. I got off track and honey, let me tell u, u gain a heck of a lot faster than u lose. Its taken this to get my eyes open and now that they are and I see 190 on the scales instead of 160 I AM GOING TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT and I appreciate a few pointers on how to do that. The dizziness scares me but my dr assures me its nothing major. He says when the inner or middle (can't remember which) is inflamed from sinus infections, allergys it can cause the whole body to feel messed up.  Ok, now every one knows my secret. The one reason I haven't been on OH alot lately, the reason I skipped my appt with Dr Shina, the reason that instead of going to my family dr when I got sick I went to the ER. Theres not alot of way around it, I gained. Sugars don't make me sick. At first I'd tell myself well, it won't hurt to eat one sweet thing. But then I nibble and nibble. I've noticed my old habits of snacking in the middle of the night are back. How do u get back to basics? I know, first thing I need to do is schedule a physical of course, then call Dr Shinas office and go see him. People are always telling me that I inspire them, or that my weight loss success has. Well, I'm not worth being an inspiration. I've been to scared to tell anyone about this because I am ashamed and I know the surgery hasn't failed, if I don't nip this in the bud NOW I will have failed. I'm not up to alot of flaming but if anyone has any words of encouragement as to how to get back on track I'd appreciate it. Ange

Angie.......   No flames are needed, I think you are kicking your own butt enough.  Get rid of the sugars, don't keep it in the house. The only sugar you have left in the house is the kind you and Adam have for each other. That sugar you buy, you don't need, your daughter doesn't need and Adam doesn't need. Your daughter just started school last week, so now you are home by yourself for a few more hours.... bad combo there. Self guilt and loneliness will make you snack. Throw out the candies, sugar snacks and other unmentionable bad foods you know your not supposed to eat. After Allison gets on the bus, go take the dog for a walk or weed the garden. You can do a bunch of things around the house or get your butt to a gym if you got the membership.  Put yourself in BOOTCAMP. Maybe go all the way back to the liquid diet and protein shakes to kickstart the losing again.  ANGE I think we are all guilty of pushing things a time or two. Its human nature just don't let yourself get complacent. Shoot I have been bad the past two weeks or so due to all the stress my job has heaped on me. I noticed this morning that I was responding by nibbling, grazing and what have you. I was lucky in the fact that what I was eating was healthier cjoices than what I would have 7 months ago, but still I was being naughty and eating.... What did I do when I noticed I kicked myself in the ASS and started to text Trina at 5 in the morning and emailing her at work. but she was in bed, i just saved them as drafts and sent therm to her around the time she wakes. I must have sent 20 messages or so just babbling, venting my stressers from that night. It gave me something to do with my fingers besides stuffing food in my mouth.  Damn this past 2-3 weeks has probably cost me about 8 lbs of potential loss. I could be sitting here wondering what day I break into the 230's and not the 240's still like I have been for the past two weeks.There I said it guttermind is guilty of snacking. Now what... I guess I follow my own advice and pull a boot off and kick my own ass.  So get moving, quit snacking and get our butts exercising. CYA at the gym or moving on the road. Signed your still large northern ky buddy buddah

Thanks bud, I needed to hear all that. Encouragement. U r right, I know what to do and I just need to get up and do it. I'm going to call my surgeon also to let him know why I missed my 2 yr appt and that I've gained.  I've just gone back to all my old habits, nervous snacking and since I can handle sugars I do. I told Adam earlier today, he got a call about his blood work and his sugar levels were high. I told him no more sweets. Allison is almost 6 and weighs 82 pounds. She doesn't need them, he doesn't and I sure as heck don't. Thanks again. I'm a member at our local gym and I've got the good old treadmill here lol plus neighbors that like to walk. I just need to get out and do it. When Allison leaves in the mornings instead of laying my lazy booty back down I need to take a walk.

There you go! I think it is about time for me to start walking the dog again. The zune is charged up and the heat is no where near as bad as it has been recently. It's just that with my work schedule the only time I have to walk him is during the heat of the day. Damn another reason I hate working nights.

Adams schedule for almost 6 yrs has been 7pm-7am. 4 days one week 3 the next, not all in a row. He'd work 2 be off 2, work 3 be off 2, work 2 be off 3. Now they've gone to Mon nights thur Thursday nights 7pm-7am and after Labor Day he's going to 8 hours a day Mon thur Friday not sure if it'll be 3-11pm or 11pm - 7am. Its stressful to him. He loved his old schedule. Oh well. U r right, its no where near as hot as it was. Allison gets on the bus at 7am and its not as hot then, I'll start taking my walks then. Not alot of traffice either!

just a little note to say you still inspire me alot ,it is so good for ppl to post what is going on so we know how things will be ,you scared me so bad with gaining weight I went out & rode my bike for a half an hour lol,MY NAME IS BECKY & I GRAZE ,I know I need to stop my weight is at a stall goes up & down a few pounds at a time I think I am going to try 5 day pouch thing I posted early this week ,so good luck to you & good luck to all who is struggling it is hard I hate it when ppl say OH YOU TOOK THE EASY WAY OUT ,makes me want to chock them lol,we can do this come on need to start walking & ridding the bike best of luck

((((((((((((Ange)))))))))))))  <----best huggie smilie they got Oh my gosh Ange, who's gonna flame you for being honest with what's going on in your life??!! I think your the tops and I still have you as one of my biggest inspirations; that wont ever change! I wonder if the Ange before WLS would have given as much thought to the 30lbs as the Ange post-op? Think about how much you've changed over the course of 2 years and how much more you are in tuned with your body. You've acknowledged the weight gain, you've acknowledged the reasons why the happened, and now you can turn to us and your doctor for a plan of action. You are 4 steps ahead of the game! Ange, you and Adam have been through so much this last year, I think what you're going through is normal. (Yes, I do read your emails; LoL) Please don't beat yourself up (Ryan is right about that--you're doing a good job of that yourself) because you are still a success with your surgery. Gaining 30lbs does not change that and besides, you are paying attention to the situation and are making a plan of action. This sounds like success to me, no? I've been looking over the 5 day get-back-to-basics diet Becky posted and it looks really good. Michael and I are going to give it a try when we get paid Friday (gotta stock up on protein) because we too have been feeling like we've swerved off track. We're still losing, but not as steady as we'd like. You're not alone in your plight and I think if more posters were honest here (the whole OH forums--not implying anyone here in our KY family) they'd too would say, "Yeah, I'm having a hard time with this or that and I've gained." We're here to help one another and I hope I've helped some way.  If you need someone to talk, please PM me and I'll give you me number. I'd love to talk with you. Vickie R and I talk on the phone all the time and she's been a great support network to me. (even with all her stuff and busy life) Becky has been awesome contribute to our Ky board and it was so nice meeting her for the first time the other day. Perhaps you can join us on one of our dinners. (we can possibly make them different places, so no one has to drive way out of their way) Gerri had her operation yesterday and she's going to be a great asset to our success too. We are here for each other! Please take care, I've got to get to school, but wanted to let you know how very special you are to me and Mike. Don't you ever forget that! Dee

Hi Angela................there will be no flaming............ok. I would tell you that you need Dr.Shina more than ever now. You had the surgery and now its a mental thing going on. I want you to no that i had to seek professional help for me to gain. I thought me not eating was a good thing and i looked sick at 108lbs. Well after 4 mo on lorazpam and lexapro. I am at peace with my weight 126lbs. I still  feel  fat some days,i think  where is my life going. I went through a huge depression back when Samantha started school at 5. I ate my weight up to 260lbs and i would eat all day long non stop. Its ok that you have caught this in time,you no you need help. I to have reflux so bad that i get a sore throat alot. And when you have the upper gi they can tell you how big the pouch is. And you can call me anytime or i can call you i have area calling ok.............Ang just remember the old Ang, look at pics that always shakes me lol.........you are strong and we will always be tested,where only human. WLS is not a quick fix and we still have issues....................call me!!!!!!!!                                                                                                      Vickie

Thanks everyone! Right now I feel like I'm falling apart. I never thought I'd be one to have panic attacks and I had one. I'm scared I'll have another but the dr gave me some meds today. Told me to breath and stay calm. Mom's going to stay up here tonight just for my peace of mind. I could deal better with the weight gain issues without these panic attacks.