Very Frustrated with Myself!!!

Hi everyone....I haven't posted in over a year!  I had gastric bypass on Jan 31, 2006.  I was weighing 340 the day of my surgery, also that was my heaviest.  I got down to 204 in ten months!!  I was so excited!  For the first of year of my surgery I wasn't able to eat hardly anything, which I liked it that way.  Then a year passed and I started trying things to eat and eating more and more and started eating sweets and drinking sweet tea and guess what, i'm now at 221!  I'm very upset with myself!  However, I have no willpower to stay away from sweets or just eating in general!  I liked it when I was still throwing up from eating too much or eating sweets!  I'll sit down and eat and eat and be full as can be, but don't stop!  What is my problem??? I remember before I had my surgery and even right after, I would hear these stories and think, how could they go back to their old ways of eating????  Here I am, just two years out of surgery and have gained almost 20 pounds....and the 20 pounds have come on over the past 3 months.  So i've seen myself gaining and say, ok, that is it, I'm gonna stop eating and eat healthy and exercise and I just don't do it!  I have clothes that is getting tight on me and when i look in the mirror i see a fat blob and get so upset....so why can't I get control of myself??? I've been told to go back to the basics of protein shakes for at least a week and nothing else and that will get me back on track....well i do it for a few days and then stop.  I smell some good food and I want it....or I see it and I eat it!  Does anyone have words of wisdom, advice, encouragement, anything........???? Love Christie

Maybe you need to find a support group or maybe get some couseling. Remember they do surgery on your stomach not your head and most of us had emotional connections to food to begin with.  You do really need to try and get away from the sugar and possibley try the 5 day pouch test to help you get back to the basics. Start journaling your foods, everything you put in your mouth. If you have to have sweet tea try splenda that stuff is so much sweeter than sugar. Try reverse psychology on yourself and tell yourself that if you eat something it is going to make you sick and just keep repeating that to yourself. These are just some sugestions and I hope maybe one or 2 can help you.

You are so right about the counseling.....yea, my stomach changed but my mind never did!  I am trying to start staying away from tea all together because I don't think the caffiene is good for me, plus I drink a cup of coffee every morning and that is not caffiene free.  I do use splenda in the coffee but use a flavored cream.  And I work in a medical facility and we have food and snacks brought to us all the time.  Its not bad if I don't see it or smell it, that makes it worse for me.  But I am bound and determine now to get back on track because the main reason for my surgery was to stop taking three insulin shots a day.  Also my cholesterol was through the roof and I was at stroke levels with that, so that needs to be my reminder to get back on track.  Also, I found out i'm expecting a grand baby in August, so that needs to help me stay on track to be around to see my grandbaby!  Thanks.....have a great day! Christie

Christie, What helps me is to keep all temptation out of the house.  I don't allow anything with sugar or high carbs in the house.  Our children are grown and gone so it's just me and my hubby.  He wants to lose weight so he doesn't mind.  I know you can do it.  Also I drink 3 protein shakes every day.  They really help me.  Good luck!

Hi, I wi**** was as easy for me to not have the food around but I still have an 11 year old son at home who puts away some food...lol!  I don't really buy junk food though, but I will buy him something when we are out and about and let him eat it then instead of having it in the house.  If the food choices would be mostly protein then that would be good, but it's the food choices that are kicking my butt.  I'm ready to set my mind back to being healthy which was the reason for this surgery. Thanks....have a great day, Christie

hey Christie, It has been a long time since I have psoted too we use to post alot when we firt got our wls.  I know exactly how you feel about being mad at yourself.  I too got down to 135 and now I am up too 156. My hubby and I have been trying to get pregnat so I am on meds for that and I have been stress eating alot. Some days I eat like I never had srugery and that scars me cuz I know if I don't get a handle on it I will end up gaining all my weight back.  So I am gonna go back to my phase 2 stage of when I first had surg and start over with the whole mind set thing go back to working out I know we can get back on track we just have to set our minds to it.  So we can keep in touch with each other.  I hope to hear form you soon.  Love ya,  Chrissy

Hey Chrissy......long time no hear from, lol! Yea, we were on the board ALOT when we first had our surgery.  Maybe if I would have stayed on here being active then I wouldn't have strayed away and gone back to my bad habits. I'm setting little goals for myself, my first is to lose 20 pounds and then I'm going from there.  I really don't want to lose a whole lot more but enough to where I'm at least feeling comfortable with myself again.  I need to just be strong and start back with the right food choices.  And i'm starting to have some motivation to get back on track. Good Luck with getting pregnant.  I just found out that I have a grandbaby due the first part of August.  Talk with u later........Have a good day! Christie

Hi Chrissy,  How are you doing?  I think some of us oldies need to start posting more.  I still come on board daily and lurk not so much this board as a few others but I am willing to come here to help support the graduates along with the newbies..... You guys can get back on track I have faith in you..... Hugs,

Hi Christie,  Remember me?  I use to post all the time, I had my surgery a few weeks before you... I have been very lucky in maintaining my weight but it is a daily task for me.  Now that I can eat more and am able to eat just about anything the true test is here.   These are a few things that I do that helps me stay in check.... I weigh myself everyday, I know they say don't but if I don't then I can't hold myself accountable.  I give myself a leeway of 5 lbs.  I usually weigh between 119-123, if I go above 125 it is back to the very basics.  This has only happened once.   I had gotten away from the protein shakes but recently decided to add one back a day.  Since doing that I am now staying closer to 119-121 versus 122-124.   I have my shake first thing in the morning along with my coffee.  I am a huge coffee drinker and I have decided 10:00 is my cut off time.  I then go to hot decaf tea.... I eat my breakfast everymorning at 9:00.  I eat the same thing, either a ham sandwich or turkey.  I use enough lunchmeat to get 10 grams of protein.  I eat it on wholewheat bread.  I stop my coffee at 8:30 then pickup my last cup about 9:45 and top it off at 10:00.  Between 10:00 and 12:00 it is hot decaf tea, I just keep a jar of the instant tea in my office.  I eat lunch at 12:30 and it is usually the same thing...WW dinner.  I have one that has 22 grams of protein.  I enjoy it and it is plenty for.  At 1:30 I start back with my decaf tea.  I use 12 oz dixie hot/cold beverage cup and I mark how many cups I drink with a sharpie....when I get to 5 cups I mark a happy face on my cup....The guys I work with crack up when they see my happy face!!!! Sometimes around 3, I may get a little hungry....(more head hunger)  I sometimes keep the Instone pudding in my desk and may have one of those.  20 grams of protein.  This is not everyday....sometimes I may get a handful of nuts too.  My dinner is some type of meat and a veggie.   If I want something sweet I may have one cookie, I am not depriving myself of anything but I am limiting myself....is it easy no it is not.   My husband (don't know what he was thinking unless he wants to kill me) brought me home three boxes of Godiva chocolates this week.  This was always my downfall in the past and I could have a box gone within an hour.  I brought one to work and one is on my desk here at home.  I limit myself to one piece a day at work.  The box is still there with alot of candy still inside.  I have one box on my desk at home.  I opened for the first time last night and took one piece.  Is it easy no, but it is doable.   Now I am not good at the excercise part....I work usually 10 hour days so I am dead come the evening, however once the weather straightens up and it stays lighter I do plan to start back with walking.   I don't know if any of this will help you but this has kept me in line...oh one important thing....I still get on this board everyday.  I don't post on this one much but I do read everyday it is a good support system.  I have also started back to counseling, I have a lot of stress and I am a stress/ emotional eater so I wanted to nip that in the bud so it would not get out of hand.  I also log my food on FITDAY.COM.  This has helped alot too.  Come back on the boards, we can all use the support and it is good to see those that took the journey the same time I did...maybe we can start posting and supporting one another again.... Hugs, 

Hey Jodi...YES i remember you...I'm glad to see your still doing so good!!!!  How are the kids doing?? I'm going to certainly try to get back on my track and get back to my goals. I'm with you with work, usually 10 or more more a day except fridays, i leave early.  And the bad thing is that i work for a physical therapy clinic and we have exercise equipment and weights.  One of my co workers is very faithful and exercises either every morning or after clinic.  She often asks me to join her, but I'm in dress clothes and she is already in gym clothes because she is a tech .  She has often told me to bring a change of clothes and some tennis...and i'm still using excuses, which i hate that i do that. I also have a treadmill and exercise bike at my house.  I've promised my self and friends and family that I will get back to it and stick with it!  Also though everyone continues to tell me how good i look, they dont understand that i'm not comfortable  or happy with myslef these days.  They are still there to support me though.  Thanks you for your daily routine...I'm glad to see someone else drinks coffee too...I've been fussed at for drinking coffee.  And the strange thing about the coffee is i've only aquired the taste for it since i've had the surgery. I will also try to pop into the board more often and use that to keep me motivated as well! Glad to talk with you!!! Christie