Update on decision/Mom/Tummy Tuck:

What I learned last night in 5 voice mail messages from my Mom was anger on her side that I hadn't answered my phone. She progressively got more upset because I didn't return her calls in the 5 minute allotment. When I did finally call her, I learned she had been drinking VODKA. All afternoon. And then at dinner, had two glasses of wine. My Mother is becoming an alcohic. No doubt. She said she cried all the way home. She left me a note on my dining room table apologiing profusely for her actions, words and behavior. She apologized on the phone several times about what she said. And I reminded her how bad BAD she had broken my heart and that I am considering cancelling the surgery or finding someone else to help me because I no longer trust her. I said that out loud. I said that loud and clear. I said to her that """HOW DARE YOU TREAT ME LIKE THAT IN MY HOMETOWN, IN MY PLACE OF LIFE, IN A PUBLIC RESTARAUNT WHERE I FREQUENT""" and are you aware that people were staring at YOU and not me???????????????????? She was at the hospital to see a friend and the typical "well i need to go see my friend" crap came up and I'm not important. She wanted to call me today but I said NO. I said I will call you "WHEN I HAVE TIME". I want to thank all of you who posted my previous post, about considering cancelling my tummy tuck. I want to thank those of you who took time to personally email me and offer your help. I want to thank all of you for your kind and caring words. At this precise moment, I am still undecided. And I know there are alot of "peeps" out there who are willing to help me. All I ask for is some time. I need until the end of this week. I've got to let it go. And to be considerate of ME and MY needs. OH AND BY THE WAY, I CHOSE TO FORGIVE MY MOTHER, AND SAID TO HER THAT SHOULD I PROCEED WITH SURGERY, SHE IS NOT ALLOWED TO DRINK IN MY PRESENCE EVER AGAIN, AND THAT SHE IS NOT ALLOWED TO TALK TO ME LIKE THAT. OR SHE CAN GO TO HELL. I told her that many times. Again, I want to thank all of you for the words of encouragement. I will post my final decision by the end of this week. Stacey

Stacey, You sure are going through a lot right now. I have not been on in a week or two and had no clue. I sure to hope you are able to set up your boundaries and be strong and do what is best for you and you alone. I wish you much luck with all you are going through. Shawn McGeachy

The mature thing for me to do was to forgive her and let it go. Otherwise, I'd be a mess today. I slept it off, and feel great today. Choosing my boundaries and setting up my plans are in action as we speak. However it is a decision that takes some effort and balance and time. That along with costs and expenses I had "NOT" planned, make this more difficult. So I'm working on a strategy now. And it may or may not work. I don't know. As for Mom, she needs to seek counseling and I told her that. She needs more help than I am prepared to give her, and wish not to be a part of. Thanks Shawn, I appreciate your words. Stacey

Stacey, you need to find an Al-Anon meeting quickly to learn how to deal with and let go. Your mom needs an AA meeting or to go to a treatment center before she loses everything that is dear to her because she will if she keeps the drinking up. You cannot help her unless she wants to help herself. If she is unwilling to do that, you need to take a step back. Let your friends help you through this and if you decide to do the surgery, they'll be there for you. You are the most important person right now. Your mindset has to be strictly on you so that you can heal properly. If your mother cannot accept this, then she needs to be on the outside looking in. Please take care of your self and your mental health. Only when you do that are you able to help someone else. Hugs to you (( )). Ann

I appreciate that Ann but I don't have time for AA and Mom does not take kindly to counseling at all. She wouldn't even seek grief counseling because two of her friends lost their husbands to cancer so she feels their friendship is enough. I nor my two step sisters can intervene as she is "the one who knows it all and NO ONE is going to tell her what to do" anymore. So though it sounds like an idea, I'd rather eat horse poo before I went to an AA meeting or suggested to her she needs to. She would probably disown me. And at this point, I want THAT option. Not her! Thanks tho! Stacey