Help!!! I have fallen down and I can't get up!

I need My OH family now, I am 3.3 yrs out and I have begun to gain weight! I am up about 15 lbs now! It scares the heck out of me! I am emothionally eating, grazing, not exercising. I need HELLLLP!!! I need some motivation. I know all the right answers, but something is holding me back....WHAT???? you ask? I am not sure yet. I have signed up to masteringfood.com but I have been having a difficult time getting thru the first session, not because it's bad or anything it is a great program, matter of fact it is making me face some issues that are extremely difficult for me to resolve, because it involves how others are affecting me and my life and I am not sure if I will ever be able to resolve this problem, because that means I would have to confront someone and tell them they need to change a behavior that they don't see is a problem, so it is like I just want to hide from this seemingly impossible problem, I guess I have chosen to hide behind food, fat or what ever will be my emotional sheild for the moment! I know no one has an answer for me I am hoping by typing this out It will help me to face my MANY issues. Thanks for listening. God Bless and take care----Toni

I wish you the best of luck. I'm sure that since you have taken the first steps (admitting the problem), you will start heading towards the right direction again.

I am 13 months post op and am struggling with some of these very issues. I am going to see a psychologist who had WLS, so I'm sure that SHE will be able to understand what I'm going thru, plus help me deal with other problems that I'm having.

Toni- In January I will be 4 years out and I'm experiencing the same thing you are. I have gained 20 lbs in the last year and it really is scary. I'm not really unhappy with the 20 lbs as I think I was too thin, but what is unsettling is if I can hold it to the 20 lbs. and not gain more. I find those old feelings are back from pre-WLS where you "feel" fat even tho I know I'm not and my self-esteem has taken a big dive. Boredom is my big trigger for eating and always has been. My dh goes to bed by 8:30 every night as he gets up very early so I've always had to entertain myself in the evenings. Food was a big part of that entertainment and I'm finding myself falling back into the snacking mode at night. I have checked out the grad board on here and they can be very helpful with this problem as it seems to be a common thing among many of us. Maybe you could pop in there and see if you find something helpful. Good luck. Barb

Toni, It sounds like you know the answers and what you need to do... So all I can say is, you can do it.... you did it before and you can do it again.... focus yourself, make a goal and just do it. Don't let anyone else hold you back.... Be shelfish and think of yoruself for now. Good Luck and I hope things get better.... Shawn M.

Toni, This surgery has shown me many things. One- sometimes we need an outside source to help ourselves. Two- the key to losing weight and keeping it off is INSIDE ourselves, we just needed the boost. Three- losing weight was NOT the cureall for all the problems in our lives. I have learned more psychologically about myself since having this surgery than I had in my entire life! My last statement is just a statement not advice. You cannot change someone elses behavior, only your own. I am sure you will figure out what to do, give it time and prayer. Wendy

Toni - Are you keeping a journal? Whether it's handwritten or even just an ongoing file on your computer - I find that it helps me work through my thoughts and feelings if I can actually write things down. Brain dump is what I call it. It really helps me to get all those mixed up feelings out of my head and actually see them in writing. As for confronting the person who is affecting your behavior - I would wait. Wait until you've had a chance to work through more of the program, become stronger emotionally and more confident that the confrontation will help you resolve the issues. Don't do it before you're strong enough to handle the outcome (good or bad). And don't forget to lean on your support network. We may be new friends, but know that if you need me, I'm always here. And the other gals in our support group stand ready to help too, I'm sure. Maybe one of us can be a workout partner for you (which would benefit both, of course). Or maybe even group mall walks on the weekends or evenings. Maybe an accountability coach - someone that you must report to about what you eat and why. I know that www.fitday.com is a great way to track what you're eating and they also have a feature where you record your moods for the day and why you're eating. I'm sure others might have ideas that could help. There's no reason you have to do it alone ... we're here to help. Whatever you need, just holler. Pam

Don't make me turn this board around. I'm counting,,,1,,,,,2,,,,,3,,,,,, I'm counting!!!! You know what you are doing wrong and you do it anyway? Sounds like Heathcliff and Gurtrude from the Red Skelton show. "I dood it anyway." So get rid of what you are grazing on and get the healthy stuff instead. You know what to do now DO IT!! Go back to square one and start the shakes and small meals at the right times. Carbs make you crave carbs so cut'm out. NOW!!!! Go dink a glass of water and take a walk. kp

HOPE YOU TELL ME THE SAME THING WHEN I NEED IT KP!!!! YOU ROCK!!!

Dear, dear Toni! As you know, I've been having this problem myself. Mine just started a little sooner than yours. I am also finding out through all of this that WLS does not cure "everything".... The weight loss really gave us a boost of spirits and the confidence we all need and deserve. We just have to keep working at it. We still deserve it! There are still lots of emotional stuff that we carry, but it's all workable. Does this mean I have it all figured out??? NO!!! I still struggle every single day. I'm out of control some days with food, and some days I'm not. I'm not gaining anymore at least right now, but just know that I know what you are going thru, and truth be told, there are many out there like us. The thing about it is, we start to feel really down on ourselves when we gain...we feel fat and like failures, and that's where we take the nose-dive....give up. We can't give up when we feel like that. Think about it....we have lost literally hundreds of pounds and still have most of it off!!! THAT'S what we have to concentrate on. We are NOT failures...we just slipped a little. In the scheme of things, that's not so bad. But I know about being scared about it. It's frightening. All we can do is try. I'll pray for you and please pray for me!! It's tough, but we can do it! Hugs, Theresa