What do you tell the skinny-folk?

Ok, so, my sister and my mom are both beanpoles that have never experienced obesity. Today, when TRYING to explain my rationale to my sister for looking into surgery, I received the following response; "I think if you can be dedicated to a lifestyle consisting of super vitamins and tons of protein, you can just as easily be dedicated to a lifestyle of smaller portions and exercise. Dedication is the key for both scenarios. For example, you did really well on weigh****chers - you just need to be dedicated to stick to it for life. It's really not as nice as they make it look on TV. I think it's a pretty drastic measure for you at the moment. Give eating healthy and exercise a go first." She's seen me yo-yo since I was 15. She KNOWS I have a home gym 3 steps from my bed, that I use. She knows that I can quote nutritional statistics and outline a healthy diet in my sleep! My mom's reaction was basically the same. I'm just so fed up and I feel like I have NO support from my family. Dad's response was some different fad diet. (He's in shape too; I take after my grandma.) What can I say to them to make them understand that I've tried and failed at everything, I've been researching in-depth for quite some time, and I want to take preventative measures by having this surgery BEFORE I have life-threatening complications? Every time I give them the facts flat-out, I get a response like the one above. I'm at the end of my rope! It's NOT just as easy, I DON'T lack dedication, (on the contrary, I've been dieting consistently since I was 19,) and I HAVE given healthy eating and exercise a go! *sigh* Thanks for letting me vent.

"I am beyond conventional dieting/exercise. I need a tool to help me lose the weight, keep it off and give me the time to modify my behavior. This tool will change how I process my food and how I think about food. To go the other routs will only lead to failure and eventual weight regain with insurance weight. This is for my health. I need you now more than any other time in my life so please give me the support so I can succeed and be the person I need to be. I need you." kp

THANK YOU! I copied and pasted a good chunk of that (personalized with my own additions of course) in a reply to my sister. So far no response, so that's good.

Bless your heart, Erynn. That must be a difficult situation. (I was fortunate and had a wonderful support network from husband, family, and friends.) My personal opinion is, if you have researched your options and come to the conclusion that this is something that you want/need to do for YOU, then quit trying to explain the logic behind your choice and simply tell them that it is something you are going to do...end of debate. You would appreciate their support, but if they cannot provide it you will find support in other places (like our board, perhaps???) Sometimes our families are just "scared" for us, and that is understandable. But once you lay it on the line...maybe they will come around. And, if not right away, I bet once you are on the losing side they will. Stay strong...and best of luck on your journey! I don't regret my WLS decision one bit! Maria W.

Thank you for the kind words, Maria. I think you're right. If I have to keep my chin held high and do this by myself without their support and well-wishes, that's what I've gotta do. In the future, I'm sure they'll see the benefits; maybe when we can ALL run a 10k together as a family, instead of just the three of them doing it.

I told them that i'm doing it for ME based on MY research and MY knowledge and that only i can live my life and that I take it very seriously and if they love me and trust me they're invited to come along for the ride, if not i'll find my own way... and i did.

Erynn, IMHO, nothing you say will make your family have that "AH HA!" moment and be all for you having surgery. I didn't talk about it much with my family after I told them and starting getting negative responses. I just put it out there that I was having it done, and that was it. You know why you want to do it, and it's very hard for us as human beings to put ourselves in others' shoes. So don't worry if your facts don't impress them, and don't let yourself get angry. I promise you, after the surgery, when you are fit and healthy, they will realize how educated you are on the subject and be glad you made this improvement to your life. Brenda

So- did you call Dr Chengelis's office?? Shannon

Hi Shannon, Nope, decided to go with duodenal switch instead, so I'm looking into Dr. Mustafa Hares in Bloomfield Hills. -Erynn

My Mother and sister could not relate to my obesity, so they were never supportive, always had a horror story to tell, and it was hard for me to realize that this was my personal responsibility, my health, and whichever way I decided to do it was my choice. Before my Mother died she saw me lose 40lbs and knew I would "make it". That gave me extreme comfort to know that even tho to some I took the easy way out...restoring my health was the deal maker to me.