How do I respond to this?

I was speaking with a very good friend, we have known eachother for 14 yrears~~ I was telling her I have a date to go to the doctor, and what it was for. She asked me "if you can't change your eating habits now, how is having the surgery going to help you change them"? I said "there is nothing that will change them for me, but I think by having it done, it will put me in enough physical pain, that I will not want to eat those foods again". She said "just think about this, the food you eat now is putting you enogh pain that you are considering doing this, the fact that you could die from your current eating habits should be enogh to change them without the surgery". I have NO response to that? Is this how most people will respond? She also told me that she loves me and will be there to help me in anyway she can. She is a "health nut", and has worked with many people helping them to lose weight without surgery. She thinks I CAN do this without surgery. I have spoke with her a few times after this talk, and she is being supportive.

There is a difference between being a nutritionist and a health nut. I know that your friend means well, but some people just cannot lose weight by dieting and/or excerising alone. I was one of them and you are too. Surgery for me was a last result. I got the same thing from my brother, who goes from health food nut to junk food junkie in a matter of minutes. He has tried to get me to try one or more "cleaning diets" and gawd knows what else. He thinks he too health to go to the doctor. Right now he's been dealing with a bad back and shoulder. The family has told him to us a heating pad or one of those Thermacare things. He won't. I think that your friend really doesn't know what the surgery will entail. Actually, your 'pouch' will be like that of a baby, and you will have to learn to eat all over again (in a way). Have her go to the support groups with you. They will help the both of you. Good luck Tracey!!!

I got the same response from my Dad. he said...why can't you just eat smaller portions and choose wisely what you eat. It took along time for him to understand...and I almost wanted to say to him.....You smoke Dad...can you just give it up? But he's my dad and I couldn't talk to him like that. I explained to him that yes I will still be eating smaller protions now..since I won't like what happens if I don't....and choosing wisely the foods I eat....limited on caloric intake. This surgery is a tool to help. This is not the easy way out. Now that I am losing weight and am off almost all meds....he is very supportive.

WLS works in 2 ways. First, your stomach size is reduces which limits the amount of food you can possibly consume. Second, the malabsorption component keeps you from absorbing the calories you do eat. It's not pain that produces the results, although that can be a deterrent if you overeat, but an ability to limit your consumption and absorption. Those who need this surgery do so because they are physically restricted in what they can eat. Obviously someone who doesn't need the surgery can self-monitor their consumption and it works for them. For those of use who can't do it on our own, we need the surgery. Does it mean we are bad people? No. Are we weaker mentally? I guess I can admit that because I couldn't self-regulate. If people want to bad-mouth me for that, so be it. I am far healtheir now because of the surgery. I don't give a damn what judgements other people make about "the easy way out" and all that. Your friend said "the food you eat now is putting you in enough pain that you are considering doing this... the fact that you could die from your current eating habits should be enough...". If the consequences of eating were more immediate, perhaps that would be a valid point. Nobody puts 100 - 200 lbs. on overnight. I bet if eating extra (plug in your favorite food here) caused a 150 lb. weight gain overnight, I'm sure you'd do something about it. Obesity is a slow process developed over years of poor eating habits. Changing eating behaviors in the long run is almost impossible for people to do. In fact, research shows that over 90% of people who "diet" are not successful for longer than 12 months. WLS combats this by providing a quick and efficient way to provide the patient with tools to reduce consumption. If your friend can't understand this, it is because he/she has never had problems overeating. He/she WON'T get it for that reason. As long as he/she is being supportive, it doesn't matter if they truly understand how someone can just simply turn off the overeating switch. Jon

You know I just had my very own Aunt Tell me that I am a diabetic because of my weight and the doctors told me that it is actually the other way around.. But yeah peoples comments kinda make you wonder.Don't they? The way I look at it is my pancreas is bad and I am having surgery to fix that just like when your gallbladder goes bad or any other organ. When it is broke you fix it, this surgery is dangerous but look at all the other surgeries that are just as dangerous. Our society likes to blame and most of the time We as people who struggle with weight are not to blame. I think that your friend did not mean to hurt your feelings but it sounds like she did, or you would have not made this posting.....I feel for you, I understand what you are going through. You should feel that you need to explain anything to anyone....THIS IS YOUR CHOICE......My husband does not want me to get surgery. He said the same thing, but oh it was very abusive how he said it. He was watching TV and seen the LAP Band commercial.. His comment was all you FAT A$$es all you need to do is get off your butt and watch what you eat... Man that made me so mad.......SO Yeah I am one person who definetly knows what you are going through.....

Actually there are some very good answers to that question. Right here in this thread, Jon presented some good information for you to think about. As you go through this process you will learn much more about it and you'll find the information you need to assure yourself about how it works. My suggestion for you right now when asked those types of questions is to say, "i'm in the process of learning how this works." Your doctor should give you lots of information and will probably steer you towards other resources. When i first got interested i was presented with a lot of info at an introductory meeting i was required to attend, given lots of pamphlets, books and print outs and referred to lots of websites (including this one.) I'd looked into this with two other bariatric centers before winding up at the Cleveland Clinic where my surgery was done and all three of them presented me with this kind of info as well as one to one meetings with nutritionists, therapists, nurses and doctors. Be patient and be studious. Ask lots of questions. And remember, we were where you're at. And it worked for us! It can work for you too. Good luck.

Thank you all for your input, eachone of you have given me something to think about. You know, it is funny, I am so scard, that when someone says something like this it really makes me question if I am doing the right thing.