How Rude!
I have a great friend with whom I share most everything, including the fact I'm in the process of getting approval for wls. I'm there today to pick up my kids, (it's her turn to drive carpool) so I'm waiting in the driveway for their arrival and her husband comes strolling out to chat... (I did not tell him about wls) "Are you still thinking about that gastric surgery?" "It seems to me you just need a good bike, you live in a nice neighborhood." "I'd rethink that surgery business, open yourself up to all kinds of germs and the like." "Why not just diet and excercise, clearly you've picked up some bad habits along the way." "You're a smart girl, I'd have thought you would know better."
Good Lord, what makes people think they can just come out and say whatever is on their mind? I am so angry. I know people I've told about what I'm planning are talking about it, I imagine it's fascinating from the outside, but you would think people close to you would have enough common sense to keep their mouths shut!
I asked him what he weighed and if he'd like to carry an additional 140 pounds around thinking that would shut him up, and again he had the kahoonas to tell me to go out on my bike, "I lost 20 pounds doing exactly that, the weather is perfect." Can he not add. Can he not see I have a few more than 20 to go (like 150 more)? He knows that I have arthritis in one knee and a heel spur in the opposite foot
I want to say all kinds of bad words and stomp my feet, here's the thing, normally my feelings would be hurt, but I am so damn mad at him... I really want to have another go and tell him how stupid he is, the flip side is I could spoil a good thing with my girlfriend if I slam the hubby, but what a jerk! What do I do, I'm feeling enraged! Lexia
Lexia,
Don't let people like that get to you. I have a co-worker like that. I just told her that if she educated herself a little more on the subject, it would be interesting to have a conversation with her about it sometime. That shut her up. Just walk away. You really don't need to explain yourself to anyone. Or, you could just thank him for his concern and leave it at that. No sense in getting yourself upset over someone's ignorance. He probably thought he was just expressing concern.
Good luck with your journey.
Jan 
That is soo rude....how dare he... I guess some people will never learn to mind there own business.... I had the same happen to me in college.. I had to present a support group so I did this site due to the fact that I had it done and someone stupid just kept their mouth going on how bad it was for me...... I would just try to remember and be thankful that he is not your husband....In time maybe people will understand we did not do this for an easy way out... This is the best thing we can do for ourselves and it is the hardest thing I have ever done. Hang in ther Lexia...
Lexia, is this gf overweight? This sounds like exactly what happened to me. My best friend (she lives next door) went through everything with me, we were inseperable. she's maybe 20 pounds overweight. she rooted for me all the way til i got close to her weight, then she totally changed toward me. She's jealous, and needless to say, she isn't my friend anymore.
By the way your gf's hubby was talking, it looks as though she and he had a discussion about your surgery and think you're ignorant to do it. Hopefully i'm wrong, but i'm betting this is one friend you won't have too long after surgery.
Don't let the negativaty get to you, be strong and don't let that idiot influence you. Good luck on your journey, and we are all here for you if you need.
Hugs
Linda
In forming my response, the one thing that I kept asking is what was it about his comment that made you so angry. I think its perfectly natural for someone who has never had a weight problem to think the way he does. After all, he doesn't know what he doesn't know. He doesn't understand your thinking, but you are not understanding his either. Plain and simple---he has no frame of reference for all the health related experiences you have lived through. That is not his fault. We must understand that lack of knowledge in those people who have never lived it.
I dealt with the same opinion with the people in my family--my father, my brother and my husband. They all felt the same as your friend's husband. The one and only person that understood was my mother simply because she has dealt with a weight problem.
Try to understand his lack of experience is the cause for his thoughts and you can't fault him for that---he just doesn't understand and he never could unless he actually lived it. I'm interested to hear what you think.
Mary - you are exactly right. I have my surgery date coming up in 4 days, and I have only told a handful of people I trust. My thought is if someone really doesn't have a stake in my outcome, their opinion really doesn't matter to me. I'm also thankful I need some hernia repair, so the folks I work with think I'm going out for hernia surgery. I have no problem telling the "whole story" once the results are showing - then how can they make negative comments when I'm healthier and look better?
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