need some advise ??

I have had so many changes this year , with the surgery and weight loss , and other stuff going on in my life ..well any ways my husband told me last night that he liked me a lot more when I was fat !! than he dose now ..because I use to be a very sweet nice person I would go out of my way to help people and I was happy all the time ......but now I am a ***** !! to say the least nothing seems to make me happy I feel like somthing is wrong with me ...I should be happy !!!! why do I feel like this ??? somthing just is not right am even having sexual problems ..could it have somthing to do with all the weight loss or what !!! I mean I feel so much better now and I have not had any problem with the surgery nothing am just diffrent ..I thought maybe its depression ..I really dont no  can some one help !! Sherry

Sherry {{{hugs}}} I know that you are going thru a rough patch.  Its common post op.  I found that I needed meds and therapy because I have depression [i am 9mos postop].  We need to get help sometimes to get coping tools, since we can turn to food for comfort anymore.

this is pretty common after massive weight loss.  Not only are you improving your life and working on all the areas you want to see changes made... but you're also losing weight as break-neck speed.  It's a lot for your brain to keep up with. First, let's talk about the biological/physical part of it. Fat cells are estrogen factories -- that's where your body produces a portion of your estrogen.  It's also where a lot of your estrogen is stored.  So when you're losing weight, the estrogen production is all screwed up because you just closed the doors on a million fat cells.  Plus, you kicked out the little estrogen families from their homes and now they are all out on the streets looking for new homes.  Basically you have excess estrogen and various other hormones floating around in your body.  And we all know what that means.... PMS!  Yep, you're basically putting your body through those crazy mood swings, *****iness and emotional havoc that we get when we have PMS.  but instead of staying for a week, it sticks around for months and months.  It's also very common to go through depression because of this hormonal imbalance.  Many people need some anti-depressant drugs -- even just a tiny dose -- to help them get over the hump of this emotional craziness.  Talk to your doctor about it. Also explain to your husband what's going on with the hormone crap.  He might be more understanding if he actually knows that it is something beyond your control and that things will even out again once you stop losing weight. Now, let's talk about the emotional part. We just made a HUGE life altering decision to make our lives better.  To improve, no only our health, but work on all areas of our lives to become a better person.  But we also need to make sure we're working on the "relationship health" portion of those areas too --- really working hard to let your partner keep up with the changes and including him in your journey as much as possible.  As obese women we tend to be the people who always takes care of everyone else.  Why? Because our self esteem is so low that we think we have to bow down and please everyone in order for them to like us.  But now that we're taking steps to put our own selves first in our lives, we might appear to be selfish or mean or a *****  That is just their fear coming into play -- they are afraid that they won't have anyone to take care of them anymore.  They're afraid they'll have to stand on their own two feet and take care of themselves.  You need to stand strong and remember to put yourself first in your own life.  And as a stronger person, you'll be better able to help take care of others when they need our help.  and remember that we're also dealing with some huge emotional issues when it comes to our relationship with food.  We can no longer use food as a companion, a comfort, a friend ---- we have to develop new habits and mindsets to get us through our normal stress-eating situations and do it without food.  this is a huge adjustment for us to make and we can get a bit *****y about the process.  It's hard and we've got to work really hard to overcome these things. So sit down with your hubby and talk to him about how you're really feeling.  Tell him what's going on inside your body and help him to understand that you need his support more than ever right now.  Figure out what you need to do in your relationship to build it stronger.  Maybe a weekly date night?  Maybe a mini-vacation alone without the kids so you can reconnect with each other?  Maybe just some quiet time at the end of the day without the tv or computer or other distractions so you can spend it together?  HTH Pam

Wow Pam, Great information. Having some issues in that area myself.   Thanks

Pam I want to thank you so much for telling me all of that ..that explains so much to me ...I new somthing just was not right I should be happy !!! look at all I have been threw .... but am a ***** !!so say it lightly . thanks again Sherry

Great post Pam!  I was going to answer but I couldn't say it any better.