Fear of Failure

Hey Guys!  I posted this on the lapband forum, also, but I can use the advice from my NC pals, too!   I need a little help... When I first started this process I was really excited and looking forward to the changes the band will help me accomplish in my life.  Now that I have done everything except meet with my surgeon and schedule the surgery, I'm starting to second guess myself.  I've tried so many things in the past and had short term success and/or failure that I'm worried that this will just be another failure.  When I'm talking to others, I feel confident that I can do this, but when I'm honest with myself, I'm not 100% sure.  I guess what I'm saying is that I'm worried about screwing this up.  It's a big investment in mine and my family's future and I don't want to let myself or my family down.  Did anyone experience these feelings, too?  If so, how did you overcome them and build the confidence to trust yourself to be successful?  Thanks! Amanda

Hey Amanda: I think we all have doubts at some time or another.  If we didn't we wouldn't be human and we have also had so many failures in the past.   I don't know what the exact statistics are (i will try to look them up and post) but I know the success rate of RNY and lapbands are so much greater than the normal wt loss.   This is a huge decision we have made and it has taken a lot of thought.  Remember this decision is for you and your health and not for anyone else. Take care and good luck, Pam

I understand exactly what you're talking about. I'm going to be banded Friday and I am all but freaking out that I will screw this up some how.  I think we both need to do some positive thinking. We can do it!!

Pam & Pink, Thanks for the encouragement.  It helps to know that I'm not the only one with doubts.   Pink, Positive thoughts are coming your way.  Good luck with the surgery.  Keep us posted! Amanda

Amanda, If your like me, you have tried to loose weight tons of times and always failed. I'm 7 months out and I still have those thoughts. I've lost more weight than any other diet. That alone helps me stay focused. As long as you always remember that the surgery is a weight loss tool not a quick fix, you'll do just fine. Support is a key ingredient as well. It always helps knowing there are other people just like you. And there is always someone to listen when you need them. Yes, it is a big investment. It makes it so worth it when I run around with my two year old daughter instead of watching her play. Hopefully we will get to spend a few more years together. You can do this, everyone second guesses themself all the way up to surgery. Just do it, you'll find the confidence. Good Luck Peace, Karla

The difference between all the other times and this time is you will be given a tool to help you succeed. Its hard to explain to pre-oppers how 'different' it is this time... its like getting the final piece of the puzzle you have been missing all these years - the physical side is 'taken care of' so you can really focus on the mental side... working on food issues and properly educating yourself about nutrition.  There is nothing I can say that will make you feel 100% better pre-op except for just wait and see - when you wake up post-op and some time has passed you will see how things are different. Keep in mind that it is a learning process post-op - nobody is perfect and it takes time to learn how to use your tool and teach yourself how to eat etc.  Also, this surgery is for YOU and only YOU... remember that - while your family will get benefits - like having you around longer and having a more healthy you... you will have to be the reason you are doing the surgery - you cannot worry about letting your family down because its you and your body... I told myself going into this surgery for at *least* the first year post-op I would be #1 no matter what... I would HAVE to put my needs first and do everything possible to succeed at this - I think thats one of the best pieces of advice I can tell a pre-op... do this for you and do what you need to do to be successful - whats 1 or 2 years of you putting yourself first when we always put everybody else before ourselves?

Thanks so much for the pep talk.  It's difficult not to think about letting my family down, but if I put myself first for awhile then I'll be happier and healthier and that will make me a better wife and, eventually, a good mother.  Thank you for the encouragement. Amanda

Hi Amanda! The ladies posted some awesome posts (wish I would've taken better advantage of this forum when I was starting my journey.) Best of Luck!