I am so mad at myself

I haven't had surgery yet. I  I have been to see my surgeon and the insurance specialist checked with my insurance and to meet the criteria for WLS  (revision) I must do 3 months of Physician Supervised Diet and Exercise. I joined a gym at a local hospital. I've been going for 2 weeks M-F and I have dropped 6 lbs! I am so exicted.  I had to change PCP's so I am going to my new one on 4/10. I am sure that the 3 months will go by fast. Here comes the BIG BUT.... I have such a hard time on the weekends I want to eat everything in site.  I am not hungery.... I know it is just Head Hunger. Why do I sabotoge myself? I want to lose the weight. I want to excited about it. I know what I need to do yet I do what I shouldn't do.  Anyone have any suggestions on how to get motivated.  Tedi

Weekends are my weakness as well. My family is home, and hubby drinks pop etc.  When I get bored, I think I am hungry! Find a hobby!!! I am scrapbooking of a night! this seems to help alot!

Thank you for your reply Bartette. I do need to find a hobby. I am so tired when I get home on Friday I  cook dinner for me an my hubby (we are finally home alone after 24 years) and then I sit on the couch for a couple of hours snacking. I know I am a food addict. I have tried to work on it for years. I have even gone to Overeaters Anonomus. The problem, an alcoholic can stop drinking, a herion adict can stop using but an overeater still has to eat. I need to get this under some kind of control before my surgery or I will only fail again. Over the past year I have made a lot of changes. I have cleaned out my cupboards No more white flour product, No more processed foods, No more canned vegetables. I cook everything from scrach. I quit drinking beer. I exercise everyday including the weekends. But I still want stuff that isn't good for me. I don't eat much it often but when I do I binge.  Tedi

It sounds like you have made some major steps!! Congrats on those!!! You just need to find what works for you!!!! Keep trying, don't give up!! You will find something!!

I will thank you so much for your encouragement it means a great deal to me

Tedi,

You have done some marvelous work in your world.  Keep it up.  Progress not perfection is the mantra of Overeaters Anonymous (easier to say than to accept, I know).  Be gentle with yourself as you grow and learn.

Janice

Janice,  Thank you for reminding me "Progress not perfection". I have always been my worst critic. This week aunt flow came to visit and I had the "poor poor pittiful me" pretty bad this time. I know what I am like when I have my period LOL I am feeling better now thank you both for being there for me you really helped me to come out of my self pitty party . I am going to keep progressing.  Twenty yrs ago when I quit smoking it was something that I was determined to do. It took me 6 months to quit but I never smoked again. I have to be just as determined to lose this weight. I have to want to succeed at this as much as I wanted to quit smoking. I know that I have it in me. When I quit smoking I kept a small pencil in my cigarette pack and a peice of paper on the outside of the cellophane, everytime I smoked a cigarette I marked it down and each day I tried to smoke one less. On days that I didn't follow that I didn't beat myself up or give up I simply smoked one less the next day than the day before. With a lot of prayer and determination in 6 months I quit  I guess I am just afraid of failing at this again. Thanks again for all your Help I am so glad I found this site  together we are stonger and that will help me to succeed!

Hi Janice, Go easy on yourself, the next 3 months will fly by, but of course it doesn't seem that way now does it? It's so annoying actually that these insurance companies put us through this, I mean if we were able to lose weight easily, then we wouldn't be putting ourselves through major surgery - if only they would see us as having as much as a disease as the person with a bad heart does. Still, until the system changes, we are stuck. I am just over 2 yrs out and still suffer with head hunger, we are never cured, I like the Progress not Perfection" mantra, it makes so much sense. I refer to myself as an obese person in a skinny body, just like the recovering alcoholic, we must never take this eating disorder disease for granted. Congrats to you on making the effort to do all that u need in order to get ready for your surgery, excersise is so important and i will be much easier to maintain in the long run. LOTS OF GOOD LUCK TO YOU and take care!! Hugs

Hi Joann, Thank you for your reply. I have had a tough weekend but I'm doing better. There are a lot of "things" that are going on in my life that I can't talk about here on OH but with God by my side I know I will get through it. He has always been there for me. Emotional highs and lows run in my family and once a month they are even worse. I did go out for a walk a couple of times this past weekend and I was at the gym this morning. WLS is a tool I am so ready for. If the insurance companies  could live a day in our shoes they would understand how we feel. I will always be "fat" in my head, becasue I have always been fat. I have tried so many diets I can't even remember how many there have been. I am sure that the next few months will fly bye. I vistied your profile and you look terrific keep up the good work.  Tedi

You know that is something I have wondered. If the people that approve/deny are skinny little things!!!  Because if they were morbidy obeses, they would want to approve everyone!