should we keep it a secret???

Any comments or suggestions ... should I tell the world or keep it a secret?? I just dont want to get discouraged from any negativity?? Corinne

Hi Corinne, I guess that is really a personal thing. For me, I told and do tell everyone. I was lucky in that I did not recieve much negativity and even the little that I did recieve just went over my head because I was so determined to make a better life for myself. For the most part people are curious and ask questions. I don't wear a big sign that says "I had WLS", but if people ask me how I lost the weight or comment on how little I eat I tell them. Some people like to keep it a secret, but..............here is my BUT on that subject. NOBODY SHOOT ME NOW OR TAKE THIS WRONG...BUT I think if I don't tell people they will think wow, she lost all that weight just by eating less, and when they constantly try and can't do it, I think it gives them a sense of false hope. I may be wrong. Anyway, like I said it is a very personal decision, whatever works for you Take care Joyce

I decided before surgery to tell people. That was a decision that I made early enough. I eat in a staff room where everyone is very conscious of the food that others eat, so I figured that I would just be open about it and not worry. I have to say that no one has been negative about it. A few people were scared for me when I had the surgery, afraid I'd die or something but there has been no negativity. In fact, my staff has been extremely supportive. But that's a decision that you have to make for yourself. Do I necessarily tell everyone? No. I pick and choose who I share with. While I tell my staff, I've only told a handful of parents. The rest I've just said that I do alot of walking and jogging. I choose who I want to share it with. I'm not embarrassed about what I've had to do to save the quality of my life. People that don't agree, can choose not to have the surgery themselves. Dawn 288/149/140 http://home.cogeco.ca/~diminishingdawn

Corinne, The only people I told was my immediate family, my friends, my grandmother and my uncle and aunt that stick up for me against another uncle and aunt . I now tell the whole world I am glad I had this surgery I don't look at it as taking the easy way out like some people may think But, I don't care what other people think it was my decision it is my body and my life. Everyone that I have told is amazed by how good I look now as b4 at my heaviest they are not condesending they are very supportive. If you research your heart out i believe you can turn anyones's bad opinion into a good opinion of this surgery. Just remember its your life, your body and your health not there's and you deserve to be happy and healthy. Dannette

Hi Corinne: I've only told my family, dearest friends and co-workers (need to explain why I'll be gone). I think it's totally up to the person. Some tell...some don't. I don't feel a need to tell those who are not close to me. It's my decision to create a healthier and happier me...I don't want to be judged by those who haven't walked in my shoes! Good luck! Melanie

anyone I don't want to tell ,I tell them I'm going for gullblader surgery only my close family know Good luck Carolynne

WOW.... That's a tough one.... I told people.....and of course now I tell EVERYONE..... There will be negative people....but you just have to be strong and remember that you are doing this for YOU. My step-mother was negative to the point of being cruel..... My response was "I don't expect you to agree with me, but please just have respect for my decision because it was NOT made lightly". Whatever you decide, I'm sure it will be right for you. Debbie

I wasn't planning on telling my co-workers, but I told a few and I'm sure it's gotten around the office by now. However, I am fully loaded and armed for when I go back to work. As for friends and family, they have been told that I'm doing it and if they can't support me then STFU. I've still gotten negativity and I just repeat the same thing... "Walk in my shoes. Then tell me how to live my life." This is by FAR the best line I've heard and used that really shuts people up. As others said, it is personal and totally up to you, but remember, only you can let yourself be affected by the negativity. If you refuse to allow it to discourage you, then you will be fine. Good luck!

I urge you to tell at least close family and friends, you're going to need all the support and understanding you can get from your loved ones. Only YOU can let someone discourage you, if you are confident in your decision, just let the negative comments go and don't get worked up over them, stay true to your decision, ask for support and if they can't offer support, then ask that they at least respect your decision and keep their negativity to themselves. Cheers Jen

Hi Corinne, I told everyone - and I do mean everyone. A WLS poster child . My friend on the other hand chose not to tell anyone but many people speculated and I even heard that she was doing the "Karen thing".... I did however do a social experiment recently. I joined a women's group and no one knew me. I chose not to tell anyone there. The weight loss came up and I was asked how I did it. I said diet and exercise which is basically true. Without diet and exercise I would not have been as successful. One night they had a "healthy potluck" and I took my favorite dish. I was astounded at the ignorance that came out of some of their mouths. I knew people talked but now that I am a normal weight I am priviledged to hear what they really think about WLS. In hindsight I wished I had been upfront from the start. I do think it is none of their business but now I wonder if I will be perceived that I am a liar?? Bottom line - it is a personal choice and only you can make it. It was easier for me to tell everyone as that is my way. The social experiment backfired in my humble opinion Karen A