felt like a failure!!

Today I had a good day and a bad day. I finally got to my GP and decided upon two routes: A referral to Dr. Starr in toronto and had my doctor fill the Out of country forms for Dr. O'Malley in Rochester for full OHIP approval. If the wait is too long I am going to the states. You would think I would be thrilled and happy to start the process but NOooooooooooo not me... I felt like a great big failure for having gotten to this point - so out of control that I need surgery!! I havent felt this sad or depressed in a very long time. I was scared, anxious, sad and very disappointed in myself actually and still am. I walked out of the office and just cried!! Worried I am making a GRAVE mistake!!! Why is everyone so happy and I am so depressed?? Thanks for any advise or help, Your friend Corinne ps. still need help posting a pic!!!

Corinne, there isn't one person on here who hasn't struggled at some point with their decision. Sometimes there are situations and life experiences that show us that we can't do everything alone. You are not a failure, you are headed in the direction of gaining self control, feeling good and being happy. I personally am glad that this option is available, I look forward to having the opportunity to start fresh and be healthy. Don't worry girl you will get there, we are here for you Hugs, Sue

I think we've all felt like this at some point, dissapointed in ourselves that we let our obesity get so out of control that surgery became the last and only option. I for one was very embarrassed, ashamed and dissapointed in myself. I asked myself so many times, should I just try dieting once more, I knew I couldn't do it, at some point you have to get honest with yourself about things and if you're like me, you've been on more diets than you can count and know deep down you need a better more permanent solution. Don't beat yourself up, think positive and look at this as an opportunity to reinvent yourself and live a happier healthier new life. Praise yourself for your strength and bravery in going through this!! Best of Luck Jen

I felt the same way after the excitement died down. I felt stupid that I let myself get to this point. I pride myself on my intelligence and this totally made me feel like a stupid ass. It depressed the hell out of me. But then someone said this to me and it made the world of difference. "You aren't stupid because you let yourself get to this point. You'd be stupid if you got to this point and didn't do anything about it." Hang tight!!!

Hey Corrine, You are not a failure, not until you quit trying. And believe me, this surgery is not a piece of cake (pardon the Pun) nor is it a free ride. The surgery is just a tool to help you, and maybe that is all you need. There may be a hundred different reasons for our obesity, but, there is only one way out. I have been dieting since I was 18 years old, and I am now 52. I just wish I had found this sooner. Believe me, I have tried and tried and tried. I am sure that you have too. This is not a magic cure, hon, there is still a lot of work you will have to do! But, it will be a little easier with the surgery having been done. Just read a little more on the boards, you will see, it is not that easy. You still have to watch what you eat, and exercise and take care of yourself, but, the tool (surgery) just makes it that much easier to lose the weight. I did go through what you are going through, feeling like a failure, but, if this (surgery) is what it takes, then that is what it takes. Hang in there honey, better days are ahead, but they are not going to drop down from heaven, there is still a lot of work involved. If this is right for you, you will know it when you really think it through!! God Bless, Marilyn

Hey Corinne... you ARE NOT a failure - you are very brave and taking control of this demon! I am very proud of you! I did the same thing re surgeons - had an appointment in Canada as well as trying for OOC... OOC came through for me. Keep researching and reading hun - and there will be good days and bad days, partly why we all got to where we are you know! You are very NORMAL!!!! Take care, keep us updated on your journey~ Erin

HI Corinne: Oh my goodness...you are NOT a failure. You're taking a step to take control of your life! The first step is always the biggest. I was at the same point as you...feeling so down and like a big failure. Been on every diet you can think of...beginning at 15 yrs old and now I'm 35 and taking control!! Surgery is just a tool (as Marilyn put it) to help you become a healthier YOU !! The rest is up to you. Eating healthier, exercising...and you can do it!! Everyone on this board is wonderful and supportive and with their help anything is possible !!! Post often and let us know about your journey !! Melanie

Sweety; You just take a deep breath and relax, okay? Honey, we've all felt this way at one point or another in this process. The important thing for you to do is concentrate on the positive aspects of this option. Positive #1: You've made the decision to regain control of your LIFE, not just your weight! Positive #2: You've given yourself 2 options... one here in Ontario and one in the US! Positive#3: You've found this website! We're here for you 24/7, Corinne! This is just the beginning hon... Seek out the people around you *****act positively to this decision and stick close to them for support... They... and everyone on this board... will be your lifeline in this process. If you have any questions, no matter how goofy they seem to you, just sign on and post away. There's no such tihng as a dumb question or a stupid feeling. And there's no such thing as FAILURE... You're a winner Corinne!!!!! Welcome to the winner's circle! Connie

Oh My Gosh! You are so far from a failure.You have the strength to take control of your life again! WLS is the help some of us need,its a tool not a cure.YOU are the one in the drivers seat of this journey! There are so many variables that have gotten "us" to the point of obisity,some we could not control! NOW, You have put the key in the igntion ( recognizing you have a weight problem)... You have done your safety check ( researched the options and chose whats best for you)..... You got your licence...( relying in your GPs knowlege)... now buckle up and hit the gas!... You will be the healthy woman, YOU DESERVE to be!

You Guys are great!! I am feeling So much better now!! I am sure I will have alot of ups and downs but BOY did your kind caring words make a difference!! You guys are the BEST and were there when I needed you!!! I must remember its great that there is finally a cure for morbid obesity and I am one lucky girl to actually have it paid for by Canada Gov't who is making it possible for me to get the help I need!! With all your words I realize all the positives which are HUGE!! Love you all, Corinne!!