Strange Feelings....

Ok....Please someone help.... I am having some of the strangest feelings about surgery now that I have a date and I know it is going to happen!! I go from being so ready to a feeling of total dread. I am so scared (not of the actually procedure) of the actually recovery and prep more than the actual surgery. I am already morning food again, already wondering how I'll make it through the day before with only clear liquids. The small stuff is freaking me out. I have constant butterflies churning. I thought I was ready for this but now it is scaring the mess out of me!!! I think this is normal but please help me see the big picture. Tell me it will be worth it. That food won't run my life any more. Thanks for listening. Rachel

It will change your life and will be 100x worth it!!! you just have to get in the right mindset BEFOREHand.. Get ready for the clear liquids, and let yourself know now, that you will "be without" your favorite foods, and that you wont be able to go to food for comfort anymore, i wasnt prepared for that part. i guess i never thought that far ahead really about the actual final result? LOL which is weird, but it flew by so fast for me that i didnt have time to think about it.. Now I wish i had met with dr russell a couple of more times before surgery to get my mind ready completely.. but now i have realized that food cannot rule me anymore.. THAT I RULE IT.. It doesnt have to have the control over your life, your mind, your schedule.. it can be something you do for you to be healthy.. I got bad butterflies right before surgery, but i felt a peace with surgery because of all the meetings and everything i "thought" i was READY.. but the only part i wasnt ready for was psychological. But now I am doing good with it. And you will be fine also!! You just have to tough it out for a few weeks.. and your life is already on the track to a better new you! Once you see yourself shrinking, literally, you will forget about that ice cream, or whatever it is.. And when you cant, you can always find some sort of fat free sugar free replacement to hit the spot and move on to another day! LOL Im so happy for you to be approved so quickly! Thats awesome I hope I get to make it tomorrow night so i can see everyone!!! I miss yall It will be okay Rachel! Food isnt EVERYTHING, it took me this long to finally realize that! Love ya Jen

Hi Rachel! It is not like what you think, after the surgery and the food thing, I mean. It's hard to explain but food morning is only a very small ordeal..there is other things you are going to be focused on and tho' there are some emotional things going on..when you see that scale move down, down, down..you'll obcess more on THE SCALE..one obcession to another!! Relax and enjoy this journey..it truely is awsome! It is perfectly normal to have some anxiety over the unknown. I understand what you are going thru right now! You are going to LOVE this ride!!! Just do as your surgeon tells you, learn the rules and stick to them for life..after about 8 months you'll feel like you never had surgery and will be able to eat like a normal skinny person and you will need your newly learned habits to maintain your weight loss. Best wishes to you, Janet

We all worry. I mourned food before surgery too. Then I mourned it after. I complained how it wasn't fair that I had to go through all this to be healthy when other people are just healthy and skinny naturally. I even cried all night a few weeks before surgery because I told Dave he should definitely remarry if I died and make sure she was strong woman so that she would raise Teagan to be strong, independant and confident. (I also included that if she treated my child badly I would come back from the grave and haunt the crap outta her.) Eventually you will get peace. In the week before surgery, I wasn't nervous, scared, excited or ANYTHING. It was weird. Clear liquids wasn't horrible, you'll get through it. As a matter of fact, I was so distracted by making sure everything and everyone at home was taken care of before my hospital stay, I actually FORGOT about eating anyway! I know you'll probably be like that too because you have the new house and move coming up. Once this surgery helps you get control over food, you'll wonder how you ever let it bother you to begin with. Everything you feel is absolutely NORMAL. Everyone goes through it. It will be okay and you will do great. I can see it already! Kathy