Breaking the News

Need some advice... I'll be heading home for the holidays and was trying to come up with an easy way to break the news to my family. Since we live in different states it could be MONTHS before we visit again. Next time they see me I could be half the person I am now. My mother of course is already in the know but should I tell the extended family and the in-laws? Do the in-laws really need to know? After all the comments made behind my back I almost want to leave them in the dark for the shock and aww effect. Any thoughts??? What are some of your stories involved with breaking the news. Jamie

I only told my immediate family and close friends. I didn't even tell my in-laws until after my surgery. Mostly because of the comments made "not to hurt my feelings, but..." Everyone lives far away anyway. Of course word has gotten around and everyone knows now. A couple of my aunts who always made my weight gain from year to year a topic of conversation reacted with "She wasn't THAT big!" When my Dad told them I had surgery. Whatever. Noone in my immediate family has seen me since surgery, including my mom and dad and siblings so this is probably the most exciting Christmas I have coming. My inlaws have seen me and are very proud of me. I am actually the same size as my sister in law now. I say don't tell them. Let it be a surprise. Kathy

Boy that sounds familiar, I have aunts that I know will say the exact same thing. I know some family members will "try" and talk me out of it. I can hear it now "this is so extreme, you sure this is what you need?" To which I'll reply look at me! I've tried everything and falled one to many times this is my last shot at a "normal" life. As for my in-laws after what was said behind my back I can't wait to see thier jaws drop at the new me. Well thanks for the help ladies. Jamie

well I know how you feel.I live in another state also & no one knows in my family only my sis & she is a RN nurce so I would call her but my mom even dnt know wow they all will be in shock when I go in but wont be able to do that till June of next year so I know they will be shocked. dnt tell, ppl can hurt your feelings so easy & that is why I did not say anything because I knew it was for me & my health so good luck

I would love to be a fly on the wall when you go home & your family sees you. They will be blown away! You have worked so hard, put out such a fantastic effort & followed "The Rules" ... &, your results show it! You look fantastic, Ms Becky, & your family will be amazed at how beautiful you look! God bless you ... Dawn & Nick

I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU THE BEST ADVICE ON THIS SUBJECT THAT YOU CAN USE IN ANY SITUATION OF YOUR LIFE, MS JAMIE. NOT THAT I AM ALL THAT SMART, BUT NICK & I HAVE MADE EVERY MISTAKE THERE IS TO MAKE & JUST NOW, IN MY 50s & NICK'S 60s, WE ARE FINALLY GETTING OUR FEET UNDER US. MAKE YOUR DECISIONS BASED ON WHAT YOU KNOW IS RIGHT FOR YOU ... TAKE THE GOOD COUNSEL OF OTHERS WHO HAVE YOUR BEST INTEREST AT HEART, BUT DO NOT, NOT, NOT GIVE ANY IMPORTANCE TO THOSE PEOPLE & THEIR OPINIONS WHO CAUSE DISTRESS IN YOUR LIFE, TRY TO CONTROL OR MANIPULATE YOU, OR TREAT YOU ABUSIVELY OR WITH DISRESPECT. IN THIS SITUATION LIKE IN OTHERS IN YOUR LIFE, DO WHAT YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT DOING. IF YOU WANT TO SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOF TOPS THAT YOU'RE HAVING GASTRIC BYPASS, DO IT NO MATTER WHAT REACTION YOU'LL GET FROM YOUR MEAN-SPIRITED RELATIVES. DO IT JUST BECAUSE IT FEELS GOOD TO YOU. IF YOU WOULD FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE JUST TELLING A FEW CLOSE FRIENDS & RELATIVES, THEN DO THAT. THE POINT IS THAT MEAN PEOPLE WILL FIND SOMETHING MEAN TO SAY OR DO NO MATTER WHAT YOUR DECISION IS. IF YOU TELL THEM, THEY'LL FIND SOMETHING HURTFUL TO SAY ... IF YOU DON'T TELL THEM, THEY'LL FIND SOMETHING HURTFUL ... IF YOU LOSE 100 #s IN 6 MONTHS, THEY'LL FIND SOMETHING HURTFUL TO SAY ... IF YOU LOSE 25 #s IN 6 MONTHS, THEY'LL FIND SOMETHING HURTFUL TO SAY ... SOOOOOOOOOOO, DON'T ALLOW PEOPLE LIKE THAT TO STEAL YOUR JOY & YOUR LIFE'S EXPERIENCES OTHERWISE YOU ARE THE ONE LOSING OUT & YOUR DESERVE BETTER! THEY AREN'T MEAN BECAUSE YOU ARE HEAVY ... THEY ARE MEAN BECAUSE THEY CHOOSE TO BE MEAN. WE ALL HAVE PAIN IN OUR LIVES THAT WE COULD USE AS EXCUSES TO HURT OTHERS, BUT MOST PEOPLE TAKE THE HIGH ROAD & ACT TOWARDS OTHERS WITH CIVILITY & RESPECT. BUT, THOSE WHO EXCUSE THEMSELVES FROM DOING WHAT IS RIGHT WILL FIND ANY "REASON" TO BE MEAN. IF YOU'RE FAT, THEY'LL HURT YOU. IF YOU LOSE THE WEIGHT, THEY'LL HURT YOU. IF YOU LOOSE IT QUICKLY ... SLOWLY ... IT DOESN'T MATTER. THE DAMANGE IS IN THEM & INSTEAD OF FACING THEIR OWN DEMONS, THEIR OWN ISSUES, THEY STRIKE OUT IN CRUELTY AGAINST OTHERS THEY ENVY. REMEMBER, MEAN PEOPLE WILL ONLY BE AS MEAN AS YOU ALLOW THEM TO BE TO YOU. YOU HAVE THE POWER TO LIVE YOUR LIFE JOYFULLY IN SPITE OF CRUEL PEOPLE & YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY, "THIS FAR & NO FURTHER"! SO GIRL ... YOU DO EXACTLY WHAT WILL BRING YOU JOY & EXCITEMENT & SELF WORTH & DON'T LET ANYONE TAKE THAT AWAY FROM YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD BLESS YOU ... DAWN & NICk

I actually hesitated to tell my parents because my dad has always made weight an issue but after I told them they are dropping everything to come here to help during and after! It was very nice to hear my dad say that they were supporting me no matter what and that they loved me no matter what. I know how you feel because I've only told my parents and my boss! I'm sure word will spread all on it's own

WHAT A BLESSING TO HAVE YOUR PARENTS AT YOUR SIDE TO SUPPORT YOU. JUST WAIT UNTIL THEY SEE YOUR MANY SUCCESSES. THEY WILL BE SO VERY PROUD OF YOU & SO HAPPY FOR YOU FOR THE WONDERFUL CHANGES IN YOUR LIFE! GOD BLESS YOU ... DAWN & NICK