An opinion...

I have become increasingly concerned for folks on the boards & off them for that matter. I wanted to write this months ago but am just now getting around to wording what I want to say in MY OPINION. I hope others read this and heed the things in my post. ONE person CAN make a difference. I believe this forum should be for support, encouragement, successes, battles weight loss related and keeping things positive as much as possible. I come here to learn tips, tricks & read the many successes of others and to keep myself accountable. The below is MY opinion as I've felt the need to voice it for a while. - Kat

BULLIES   

Bully - person who wreaks havoc by deliberately riling up folks to get kicks out of it, causing chaos in the process. In addition, a person who is destructive in putting seeds of fear, doubt & lies in otherwise living, breathing growing gardens to use a word picture.

Bullies are somewhat accepted and sometimes well respected (publicly; at one time) member(s) who assume a sort of informal and unofficial leadership role. They use their position(s) to intimidate and assert their views on newer and less established members and often push their weight around. They generally try to behave decently, but also try act as moderators or even better, preachers. However, living your life publicly one way and privately another is not only misleading but will eventually reveal itself. These folks also insult others as they wish and surprisingly other forum members will turn a blind eye to them. 

These folks are often the starting point of cliques because they can gather a group of "YES" folks around them in no time. It doesn't matter if the facts are really facts, if most of what they say is based on gossip & hearsay and they will show their true colors given the time. Beware of these folks because they can be a lot more trouble in the long run. Bullies can cause enormous damage to a forum/group by their behavior. They hide behind their keyboards (words) and their "YES" folks to communicate when they attack their opponents unmercifully claming they are entitled to their opinons and are "standing up for themselves." They can be intimidating to any normal forum/group user; thus causing folks to "hide" (speak offline/outside the group) for fear of retaliation and becoming ostracized. Therefore, causing some to back away from a group whether it be little by little or completely. 

Bullies have the effect of creating an air of negativity which translates loud & clear to others. It leaves a "bad taste" in folks mouths so to speak & the important conversations, questions and such are overshadowed. Bullies are hard to control without intervention right from others. Even forum administrator(s) or owner(s) might find it hard to control them without support from others. If folks don't speak up and report bullies then they will continue to carry on their destructive behaviors. Bullies enjoy fighting and run around bashing any folks who dares oppose them. The potential damage done by bullies is forum-wide and not related to topics, but to the personality of the bully and the kind of respect and influence he wields.

-Kat

Are you/have you been "bullied?" Its time to do something about it!!!   The below is DIRECTLY from the Obesity Help Terms of Service policy.  

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Is it a full moon or something??????

It is a full Moon....!!  It was not totally full last night .. but today .. FULL ..Very Full .. I hope it clears up here , I really want to look at it again ... 

 You are a trip for sure!

WOW!! are you guys getting that snow the sun is shining bright here?

amen! U tell us girl !! Yeah like I  replied  back to someone  that was acting all nasty and mean on the main board , but some of them hated what i had to say ! however most of them agreed with it!  Sorry to say we live in a world with crule miserable people ,who do need our love and prayers just  like we all do   but who loves nothing better then to see and cause strife!  I only wish those who moderate the main board's would say something too! Thanks for speaking your opinion Kit kat.....

Thanks. One of the biggest issues is there are folks who are fearful of retaliation and being ostracized for replying, posting & speaking up & out. I can personally identify with that and have been on the receiving end of it. In fact, at one time or another we have ALL been there. I truly do prayer that folks read it and really look into their heart & soul and ask themselves if they are exuding any of those behaviors.  There are folks that "rally the troops" behind the scenes and unfortunately they realize that things they are being told is hogwash. That is why its important to come/go to the source. Honestly, a LOT of folks are finding out just how easy that is and how much untruth can be squashed. Most folks are very forgiving and realize that we all falter and make mistakes. Some folks have to realize that there ARE options, that bullies CAN be stopped and that no one person or group of folks can hurt us unless we let them. Its pretty obvious that the less and less attention bullies and the like are given they really don't have much to stand on and not much choice but to change their ways & see the positives and find themselves other folks to wrestle with who will tolerate it. This board can be much more lively with such a wide range of folks and at all different paths in our journeys. We just have to be ourselves & come here with an open mind & heart/soul. We have to remember where we came from in that we have ALL dealt with the painful obesity issues and even in our successes we need to continue to identify with our "old selves." I think most of us do. That is what allows us to feel & show compassion, support, understanding etc. It also helps us be encouraging for folks that they CAN get there and WILL get there.  All best.....

I also agree I know alot of people have stopped posting and dont come around anymore because of alot of this going on. Wish things were different. Also wanted to let you know there is a full moon out tonight....

There are more folks lurking and coming out of lurkdom from time to time & still others PMing and such. Wishing will not make things so however, if we come together as a united front and rally around each other we can certainly make a big difference. I think that collectively as a group there are many opportunities to grow & strengthen in numbers, in commonality, in knowledge and more.  Ahhh yes, the full moon. Yes, it was last pm (factually). I'll refrain from commenting further only to mention my message was meant to be serious and I hope that it was taken that way.

I must be exceedingly dense. What are y'all talking about?? Joe