A little update

Hello all, coming to you with a little update. On Monday I was suppose to see Maya at Commonwealth surgeons but she was out sick so I decided to go to see my PCP have been have a problem and through well lets go see about it. About 2 months ago I made the decision to quit my med's big mistake because when they checked my blood sugar it was 534 and they said what are you trying to do kill yourself well the answer is no but I could not afford the med's because of not having a job. Well they got my med's where I can afford them and when I took my sugar this morning it is down to 294 so not to bad I will stay on my med's so that I can get he surgery also I will be going to see them every month for the next 6 months and will try again. I know that I should be horsewhipped for this I know better. When I went to my PCP in October I weighted 238 and by their scales monday I weighted 232.8 and by my scales as of this moring my  weight is 234.5 well I guess his is a starting point. Please keep me in your prayers as I go through all of this. A note on my dad is that he is feeding himself and drinking Thurs a sippie cup this is really cool since we were told that he might not get the swallowing back. They are really working with him and this makes me happy.He is in a permant room now and will not be moving anymore.He is starting to talk as well it is not real clear but you can make it out. Thanks for all the prayers that you have done for him.  I will keep in touch with how things are going.

Don't beat yourself, just let this be a new day and get better. Do everything you are suppose to now and please take care of yourself. Remember, you are priceless! We are all out there wishing you the very best and please keep us updated on your health. So glad your dad is doing well too. God Bless, Crystal (poetrylover4u)

Thank you Crystal, I am the one that will beat myself up and I know that I should not but that is how I am. I am going to do the right thing this time I do not want to die or go into a coma like I could have. I have 4 wonderful grandkids to live for and 2 daughters. If no one gets the point is take your meds or face the concenquence of your decision.I will keep everyone update because this is something I want really bad.

Ok MS Pat Im back now and first let me say thanks for all your thoughts and prayers during my loss. But I come back to read this. Im going to give you a goos swift kick in the butt if I here of this again now you and I have spoken and we know how serious this stuff is, my mom did the samething so I know hoe diffacult it is and how expensive this diabetic meds are, and it burns me up that there are good people like yourself and my mother and others out there that  cant afford this stuff, my mom is on a fixed income and there was no way she could do  what they had her on w/ what she made. So I had to step in when she almost died on me last yr w/ the same thing her sugars way up in the 6&700's so please dont play with this stuff go to the DRS anyone  if you cant afford the meds, there are places out there they can get you help w/ fundings and the new Walmart prices do help. Dont do his to your body's its dangerous Pat we are all here for you hugs going out to you prayers as well but please take care of you and stay on those meds.!!!!   You  guys out there that come from the old  school like my mom take off that proud hat and go ask for HELP it is out there for you PLease do it for yourself If you dont ask the Drs dont know it!!! We love you all and after the week Ive had loosin my aunt  who was 52 and didnt listen to her body she now is gone from us and left so many behind asking why? I can tell you why this very reason because she was STUBBURN as a mule and wouldnt listen to he body telling her to STOP and  to take the meds her Dr gave her. Like so many out there they cant afford or they think they feel better by not taking them. Unless the Dr tells you DO NOT STOP TAKING !!! It is dangerous. Thats why they are Drs and we are patients. Hugs

Thank you Melinda and I will stqay on the meds this time. I think this scared me enough to keep up with what I need to do and get help where I can. I got my meds where I can afford them and now to work on getting the test strips where I can afford them 92.50 is alot for like 50-100 of them . That all I need to do is 1x a day and so I will do the best that I can. I know that you all love me and now is the time for me to start loving myself more than I did.

Hi Momma - DONT GET ME STARTED! We've talked EXTENSIVELY about this & I'm not cutting you ANY slack. I am mad as h - e - double hockey sticks about this & that just makes life for you SUCK cause not only do *I* know you KNOW what to do but I hope this has scared you BIG TIME. In fact, I know it has! I bet you LOVED getting that Insulin shot huh? Well, if you don't get it together Momma that will become ANOTHER med you'll have to take. (And, HEY I see you so don't EVEN pick up your cell phone to call Dad cause I'm on his butt too).  Anyhow, here's the deal YOU KNOW our family history with diabetes, bp issues, obesity, tumors *** hello remember recently MOM?), etc. We have watched EVERY year since 1985 with the exception of just TWO-THREE, a family member DIE because of these horrible diseases all the while being able to do something about it more & more these days.  NONE of us is perfect, NONE of us has a great day EVERY day but not everyday is BAD either. You've got CHOICES Momma, you know dang well Daddy & I have been through surgery and how HARD it is. You also know I've fought with alcohol addiction and that food addiction is ALWAYS going to be something we are recovering from as well. But, I'm not sitting around crying & wondering which end is up & how many pills they got me on & what if's cause MOMMA put the what if's away! They get us no place fast. I KNOW you got it in you to do right by yourself so???? I'm here to support you & be here for you & NONE of this should come as a surprise to you but I am saying it ALL with love & from the heart. Just so tired of losing folks in my life I love & care about and it CAN be prevented. Glad stuff is ok with Gpa so QUIT trying to take care of EVERYONE BUT yourself. AND YES, I AM LOOKING IN THE MIRROR AS I AM TYPING THAT SENTENCE!!! I LOVE you Momma but dying is not working out for you right now so SUCK IT UP & gimme some love!

Sweetheart thank you and yes this has scared me more than you know. I have found it hard to tell anyone about this and it was very hard to post and I talked to one girl a work and asked what could be done to help me while I was at work and I said make me drink and to stay away from soft drinks and to make sure I eat. I know and that is why I am going to keep taking my meds so that I can live longer and see my grandkids grow up.

You gotta do this for YOU too Momma not just for us. NO ONE can help you until you are ready to help yourself and that goes for anyone & everyone. Court's right we ALL falter but that we address those mistakes & learn from them & move on in more positive directions & make better choices well....that is when we start winning instead of losing this obesity battle as well as other aspects in our lives. Trust me the buggas will mow your butt OVER Momma like they do mine & I am so blessed that they do cause they are reminders to me that carrying around 100 lb sack of weight and the past isn't gonna happen. I won't let it. DETERMINATION MOMMA! HEART U

((hugs)) I guess we all make mistakes, hopefully you have learned from this one & will keep up with those meds.  I am glad to hear you are working with your doctor & still trying for surgery.  I know you will keep us updated & we will get to follow along with you. Glad to hear your dad is doing some better.  I know that has to be easier on your mind.  Enjoy your day & remember you are loved.

Thank you and I know that I am loved. I will let you all know how things go and I will listen for now on. This was a real big shock to actully hear someone say what are you trying to kill yourself.  You are right now that I know that he is getting better I can start taking better care of myself. I have been so stressed and now I can relax a little.