bumpy ride and regret

Wow, I am tired of being tired!!  I had lap RNY on 10/31/2007, got pneumonia and had a prolonged hospital stay,  I never really regrouped and had 2 endoscopys that revealed uclers at the op site.  Had my gallbladder remover on Jan. 8 and never really got it together.  On Feb. 2 after a third endoscopy revealed the ulcers were now in the small intestine had the whole bypass revised from step one.  I never could get it together and went in for placement of a feeding tube.  So now here I am at home on a feeding pump and have home health nursing .  I am still unable to keep food down the new pouch.  My food aversions are still so strong, I hate this.  I have tried to remain positive throughout this whole process but I am worn down.  I am full of regret and wish I had my life back.   I am down 101 pounds and am happy with that but not the cost.  Is there anyone out there like me?  Anyone with a similar experience that has a positive outcome?  I desperately need to hear from you!!!   I just want to be a mother to my children again. Cindy

Cindy,            I absolutely love, love, love your chatters name and your picture of those pink pumps. OMG girl....you are sooo fabulosis!!  Yes, you are going to get better! What you had was a domino effect where one thing led to another. You have to tell yourself everyday that you are one step closer to being your old self again except this time you don't have that extra 100 lbs to drag around. Think what could have happened if you had not had the surgery. So many health problems are obesity related. I had a bad surgery except it was very different from yours. I bled out and was rushed back into surgery only to have the lap RNY and then the open RNY. I came out of surgery with a jejunostomy and gastric tube. I was sent home with the g-tube and got it out 4 weeks later.  Each day if you can, try to like one type of food, get yourself on babyfood if you have to do it but just get back into eatting by telling yourself that you want the vitamins that these foods contain. If you need to start on babyfood, do it. You can do this!! We are all here to support you and believe me, you are not the lone ranger here. So many people have had problems and they too have come back. You are not alone Cindy. Our hugs and prayers are with you, Crystal

Crystal,  I never realised that you had such a hard time with your RNY - you are a great person to give advice to Cindy as you did go through a harder time than most of us had. You have such a great attitiude despite previous problems. Cindy, Crystal gave you great advice on baby food and any kind of protein you can get yourself to keep down - The more strength you build up the better you will heal. Hopefully in a few months this will all just be a distant memory........ We are are here for you! Jackie

Cindy I am so sorry for the rought start you had but it should start to get better now..... you need time to get strong and build up some protein. Anyone would be worn out having gone through what you have.... so give yourself some time to grieve and heal. Did the doctors say what caused this unfortunate stream of events? Sometimes when we go into these things when we are not in the best of health there are repercussions BUT most times everything does come out alright in the end.  I will be thinking about you and hoping this bad turn of events is over and you will grow stronger again.  There was another guy on this board - Willbethin - he had a very unfortunate turn of events and nearly died but he has pulled through and is doing amazingly well. Him and his wife Steph come on here sometimes - I will try and forward them a note about you and see if they can conmtact you to help you feel more positive. It is in cases like yours that I get so irritated when people say we take this surgery as the easy way out .............. grrrrr..... nothing very easy here was there? Good luck Cindy and keep on the boards so we can all keep an eye on you..... Jackie

Try to hang in there, you have been though more than most but in the end it will be worth it.  you have lost so much in just a short time and every time you have surgery it does take longer to feel better, I had 2 surgery in august of 07 it took about 3 months some extra blood and lots of protien before I started feeling better. Nov. 07 I had another surgery and again it took time to get me moving. Now I feel great and look great and that day for you will come too! You have a great Dr .! he did my blockage surgery in august and saved my life.  Hang in there! get well soon! Jackie 

Cindy, You have had a really tough time - I am so sorry.  Although I have had an easy time, I do know several people who have also had it pretty tough: A few of the guys on the men's forum have had serious trouble. One has come through very well. A guy in Missouri had surgery about the time you did and is still on a feeding tube. He has a fistula that won't close. If you are interested I can provide you his screen name. He is a pastor. A northern Virginia woman on this forum has had a tough time with strictures and ulcers. She may respond to your post. A woman in central Michigan had surgery last summer and had significant problems with strictures. She had home health care for months. I haven't heard from her in a while but last I heard she was on the mend. In short, it is not all that unusual for people to have problems, but it appears that things usually get much better. You are not alone. People on this forum are praying that you will find healing and encouragement. Joe

Cindy sweetie Im sorry about all the trouble you are having but darlin it does get better. I to had the good old feeding tube fore several months where I couldnt keep food down either in the pouch. But it will get better Im over 2 years out  and 173 pounds gone an no longer a diabetic off alot of my meds. just got blood work back yesterday said it was excellent even though Im having some other issues this surgery is well worth some of the troubles we have to go through. So sweetie hang in there an you are in my prayers take it one day at a time and be patient and as positive as you can. And think of all the good things you have to look forward too. Hugss.....

Hello Cindy Jackie messaged me about your post. We would love to chat with you about our trials and process through these hard times. Will and I , have had some tough times. The weight loss is incredible with us, and though at times we say we want it back to normal, how it used to be. But never could imagine going there again. We have had so many issues with this. Will was in the hospital for 3 months, after surgery. It took him a week to admit something was wrong, but I knew there was something wrong when he got released. He was in full blown septic shock, one week after surgery, he had another. He was on a vent for 5 weeks, and in a medically induced coma. He is willing to talk to you about this and I have had so many issues myself. Please contact us, I can give you our contact phone numbers when you do, if you want. Always remember there is a rainbow at the end of this tunnel. I have learned this, takes time, but it is true. And by the way, you are ALWAYS a mother to your children! No matter how you are, or how sick you are. Take care, ( looking forward to talking to you)

Im a couple week's away from my surgery so I obvousily ahvent had a bad exp BUT I wanted to tell you that I started freakin a lil bit here lately about the unknown and someone posted a response to my thread and said that annoying lil saying that noone want's to hear because we all know it's true...and so simple! And I know it HAS to fit you because you have been through so much!  God never gives us more than we can handle! I will venture to say that thing's are heading towards the better for you. I will keep you in my prayer's! Give your kid's hug's and kisses, that's all they need! Brandi~

Hi Cindy! You've gotten some wonderful advice. You've been battling quite a bit and I imagine it feels/seems like things just keep spiraling out of control. You've lost an incredible amount of weight is such a short period of time and with some complications your body is going to be "tired" until it can heal. Focus on each day and try to find the positives in as much as you can. Dig deep and find the determination you know you have and lean on others who've "been there" as they are wonderful folks and have a lot to share/give. I wish you the best and you are in my thoughts & prayers.