THOUGHT PROVOKING QUESTION/DISCUSSION

Once again, thank you everyone for taking the time to post such thoughtful and detailed answers! Still being 3 months out from my surgery, posts like this are so helpful to me - I've been a little shy about talking to my family and friends about the surgery.  Not because I don't want to tell them, just because I don't know how much they want to hear, scared they won't be supportive, etc.  But you're making me think I just need to bit the bullet and sit down and talk to them, mostly let them know that I'M open to talking if they have questions or concerns. But I'm going to jump in with a question here - I know that support groups are important, and I'd like to start going even before I have the surgery.  I know that my surgeon has one, but to those of you who attend 3-4 - how did you find those groups?  I don't even begin to know where to look....are they all in your town or do you travel?  Richmond is nice because Charlottesville, Fredericksburg, and the WIlliamsburg area are all about an hour away so I suppose I could travel to any of them... Thanks again! Sarah

Hi Sarah, The first support group I attended  - and still attend  - was my surgeon's support group before I even had surgery. Then I heard about another one on Fairfax so I attend that one too and then Sue and I started Obesityfreedom in Fredericksburg - so that is the three I go to - outside of that I also occasionally attend others, go to Meet and Greets and social occasions held either by me or others, attend conventions like the OH one in Ashburn on May 3rd and others to keep me up to date with techniques and who is out there etc.... My belief is that you will get out what you get in - so the more time you put in the more you will get from it and studies have shown that people that attend support groups are more successful with long term weight loss....... Good for you for thinking ahead!! Jackie

Hi Sarah..... I was like you....apprehensive.  But, you are right..you need to just bite the bullet and do it.  You see, telling my family (parents and sisters), in my mind was not only admitting that I was overweight, but I felt like I was admitting that I was a failure because I could not do it on my own and had to go to such drastic measures to make myself healthy. But, I realized that it would not be fair to them to not tell them, in the event that something serious did happen.  Plus, my parents would have been extremely upset to find out after the fact that I had had major surgery.  I mean, unless it is a gender change, my parents pretty much want to know about any surgery or procedures their children are being knocked out for.  And I suspect, they'd want to know about the gender change, as well - haha. Anyways...where was I...oh ya...telling my family.... After talking to them, they were scared and nervous.  It's not like this surgery is something they had experienced.  They only knew what was told by the media, which of course is not the most favorable.  So, we talked about the pros and cons, and in the end, they supported my decision.  They weren't fully on board with it, but supported me none the less. Here it is....2 years later and my mother is SO proud of what I have accomplished.  My mother is not very healthy and has begun to live through me.  I run, whitewater raft, mountain bike, 10 mile hikes, horseback ride, pole dance, got a motorcycle license and the list goes on and on.  I do the things that she wanted to do, but never had the time (raising 3 children with a hubby in the Navy), and then became overweight and unhealthy and couldn't.  She says that I inspire her to move, so each day, she gets into her scooter and rides up the road to swim at the "Y". My Dad is amazed by how good I look, how healthy I look and have become.  He so proud of my running that the fact that I register to do runs that are fundraisers to help people.  He always asks if I am doing ok nutritionally, and I always tell him my doc visits, so it makes him feel better.   For once, I'm the "skinny sister".  My sisters are not overweight at all, but I'm the smallest of the three of us.  My surgery, and now my new exercise obsession, has inspired them to become healthy, too.  One sister has quit smoking and has started running with me, and the other didn't want to be left behind, so she started running last week (up to 1 mile already). But...it all goes back to communication and education.  To make them more comfortable about my decision, I had toopen the lines of communication and give them the education they needed. Be prepared for the typical outcries of you don't need to do that....just go on a diet and you will be fine.  Know that these outcries are nothing more than their worry for you. Ok...as for support groups...... Melinda (Prissy) has one in Charlottesville and Jackie has one in Fredricksburg.  I have been to Jackie's events and must say that she puts on a great group.  They are all at various stages in the journey and have some great topics of discussion.  Plus...they're just fun. I have not attended Melinda's group, but knowing her...you will get alot out of it. Both are OH leaders, which means that there are some things that they can get you for free if you are a memebr of their group - such as free OH magazine, and samples of products.  I know that Jackie always has something for her group. Joe also has a group up near Richmond (I think).  If so, he's another one I would attend as he is a great guy. Other than these three, I would not consider any other group.  But...that's my bias opinion because I have either attended a meeting or know the people personally. Good luck....the three months will go by in a flash!

Sarah, Here some ideas about finding out about support groups local to you. Try this,a seperate post on the message board here on the VA. stating the general area where you live. I'll bet you'll get some good responces like the one's who have responded to this post. Also, most hospitals and surgeon's offices have support groups. Most of the groups I go to invite anyone that has had WLS surgery to attend. What about calling the local hospitals and speaking to someone in the Bariatric program, they should be able to tell you about programs they are aware of. Also you could call bariatric surgeon's offices  and ask them about their programs. Often they also know about patient run and  OH trained patient moderators who run support groups in the area. If you are anywhere near me I could be more specific about the ones I go to. I regularly attend two and pop into two others if I am able to fit them in with my exercise program. Here's another idea, look on the boards and see who lives near you. Send them a personal message asking them what they know about  local support groups. Hope this helps! I attribute much of my success to attending support groups and interacting with my friends from those groups. McLean