Today's Thought For The Day.....

Good Morning, Virginians...... Kat has turned the reins over to me for the day (ha...only for today) on today's Thought for the Day.  So...here goes (hope I can make her proud...) It takes a village to raise a child, so why do we often think that this journey has to be undertaken by us alone?  I know for myself, there are days where I feel like people just do not understand and can therefore not help me with my struggles.  But...the opposite is true.  I have slowly come to realize that there are MANY people in my life who want me to be successful and want to help...I just need to get them involved. In the beginning, I got my family involved by letting them help me plan meals.  This way, they did not feel like THEY were on a diet, simply because I had changed my eating habits.  Slowly over the past 2 years, we have gone from having 2 separate meals on the table to 1 meal on the table...mine.  BUT...I too have changed my way of thinking to keep them involved.  My guys are meat and potato guys, so I add brown rice to their meals or the occasional potato.  If I buy snacks, they have to go to my hubby's office, or be something that would be of no interest to me. Now that I am more physically active, I try to plan one summer trip doing something that is active, but something that they would enjoy...whitewater rafting, hiking, mountain bike riding.....things of that nature.  This keeps them involved with me and allows us to be active as a family.  Because I am really the only runner in my house, hubby has become involved by riding his bike along side of me.  I love the support it provides to me and lets us be active together....plus...it keeps him involved.  I have found that I perform better when they are involved. Letting others get involved is a definite motivator, because it is hard to quit something when you have people counting on you....we ALL know that.  How many of us are "yes" people???  Plus, when you involve others, they become more educated on your surgery AND it is just more fun to have a buddy during this journey.  Think about it...how many trips have you done by yourself that made you come home and say "WOW!  I had a BLAST!”  I haven't had any.... But, the bottom line is that this is a journey that we should not be taking on our own.  We need the help of others, but they often do not know how to help us, or even WHERE to help us, unless we get them involved. So, if you are one who has not let others become involved, how do you think that they can be?  How do you think it could help you if you let others get involved? If you have let others get involved....how are they involved?  And one step further...how has it helped you in your journey? 

Note: Much thanks to Jill for wanting to join in and post this! In addition, I would LOVE it if others would post thought provoking questions/ideas for discussion. That's what this board is all about is EVERYONE and I mean EVERYONE getting the opportunity to participate and share their experiences, opinions, ideas and suggestions. It doesn't matter if you are pre-op and have things you are looking forward to or post-op newly, 3, 6, 9, 12 or further post-op. YOU can and do make a difference! All right! This topic is FANTASTIC!  Letting others be involved has been a tremendous benefit. I wasn't always someone who asked for help nor did I really let others help. VERY independant and was of the thinking if someone else does it will they do it as good as me? Will they do it "the right way?" What's "the right way" exactly? Well, those does for the most part are behind me. I am more inclined to ask for help and support and reach out and say I CANNOT do this without someone elses help or even a few or a lot of someone elses! Besides we all know how much fun we can have getting things accomplished, reaching goals, making dreams come true and living out things we've been wanting to WITH others!  I have never taken this journey on my own. Every step of the way someone and/or someone's have been here and although the dynamic of my garden has changed over time by needing to be weeded, there are beautiful blossoming flowers every where I turn and look which tells me that I too have blossomed. Pre-op I was a home body only going to work and the store and mailbox. Otherwise, I struggled tremendously. I rarely went out to eat, never went to concerts, the theater, never went dancing and more. Post-op its like the emerging of a butterfly from its cocoon. In fact, one of my best connections wrote me a poem of how he sees me and its entitled "The Butterfly" and I read it DAILY as a reminder of how things have progressed. Instead of NOT asking for help I now looks for ways to include everyone right down to my buggas Kayla & Nora and all the way up to those I don't even know and those I've met in which I thought "by chance" and its not true they are IN my life for a reason and I know God has put them there to teach me, for me to learn from and for me to return all that and then some. I cannot begin to say how its helped me without typing a "book" (which will come in the future wink, wink). There are so many folks I've thanked and wanted (and will) thank for their contributions to my journey. I have NO regrets and as always focus towards the future with hope and faith and great expectations. My life has changed and for the better. I've faced albeit publicly some of the toughest times of my life but here Iam today and I'm blessed, supported, encouraged, loved and more determined than I have ever been. I've learned that reaching out to others even in the most dire of times has brought such comfort, joy and fresh air into my life. Its like a well oiled machine with all these intricate parts and processes and TOGETHER it runs like a top, like my favorite car a 1966 Candy Apple Red Mustang 4Spd Fastback but I digress!!!!!  Coming here to OH is one of the wonderful ways I can include others in my life and the support, the commonality, the information, the encouragement, the lessons taught & learned and best of all the giving back make my heart sing for sure. I might be 5+ years post-op but I seriously learn something new all the time. Our journeys are ever changing, we are progressing more each day and we have to do this thang called Life with eyes wide open for sure!  So, THANK YOU to whom ever is reading this because at one time or another you have touched my life and journey and I yours.

I have one. After reading Tinks post this week on exercise, I started thinking. I have been wanting to join the Y but my husband was not wanting to spend the money. (probably thinking I would not go). So I told him to think about it. The next day I took him with me to look around. We've talked to the kids about it. So the whole family is on board. My husband and I plan to write a schedule for us to stick to...some nautilus machines, water aerobics for me. But they also have an indoor pool that my little ones will enjoy. The whole family is excited. And another...my 14 year old son was talking to us at dinner last night. He has finished watching "Supersize Me" in health class this week. He is so determined to eat healthy now. Today we are cleaning out the junk food in the house. Its a new start for the whole family.  This was a great topic. Please wish me luck in sticking to it now. Only 4 weeks until my surgery and I want to be in the best shape going into surgery. Thanks, Penny

Penny- That's GREAT!  Not sure what Nat said in her post about exercise, but I'm sure that it was positive as she use to be very active and a great motivation/inspiration when it came to exercise.  That's what got me started in running, was her always running. But...this is great that your family is SO supportive to your journey that they are willing to help clean out the cabinets and go to the "Y" with you.  It is very important that everyone be on board, because everyone will benefit from it.  If Momma's happy...everyone's happy You don't need luck....you already have the will, the desire and the commitment, but good luck anyways! Well...everyone here is involved in chores today, so I guess I should become involved too (YUCK!  I hate chores!)

Good luck with your great activities schedule Penny! It is great that your husband is right behind you and that your son listened and is paying attention to his nutrition. This should make your journey so much easier! And you are right - the better shape you are in before surgery, the easier your recovery will be! Jackie

Great topic and I plan to answer but I am going ou fo the day - so will be bacl later to answrr! Jackie

One thing I have encountered in my journey so far is a lack of support, well a lack of public support.  If that makes sense.  Don't get me wrong, my mom is supportive but only to a certain degree.  When discussing, with others, my surgery and plans for a whole new life, she seems proud and supportive.  Like I will be in great hands and will be able to make it after surgery.  Which is something I do worry about but....  When it is just her and I talking about it, discussing how things will need to change, eating and exercising and well just an entire lifestyle change, the support and proudness seem to turn to disgust and a complete lack of patience.  I am not sure if it is fear of surgery, or what could happen during or afterwards.  Maybe it is also a fear that I will accomplish what it is I set out to do.  I am not sure.  What I do know is that I must find a way to get her to acknowledge the changes that are about to take place and to get her to be more emotionally supportive.  I have tried the educating her, taking her to dr appointments, read to her articles and discussed things with her, taken her to the support groups.  I am not sure what else to do.  When I became so sick, Cameron and I moved back in with my parents so someone would be around for him.  Sometimes I feel that there is a lack of respect or that this isn't being taken seriously and all I want is to have them do this with me emotionally so that I can succeed physically.  To have the support that so many others have discussed having would definitely help me feel less worried about not succeeding.

I use different members of my family fr different levels of support. My husband does not exercise with me but he knows I go to the gym and is very supportive of me doing that - sometimes I take Connor with me to the kids section and he loves that and so he exercises there by running around and he thinks he is really helping me. Also we go out in the evenings and run and play with the dogs and race each other around the yard. So we do races and such so I know he is exercising too. My husband comes to many meetings and events with me as he is happy to learn HOW to support me - he is never critical of what I eat nor does he say I should not eat  things etc - he has learmed enough to trust my judgement. This has helped me on my journey so much to know that I have the support I need physically as well as emotionally...... I never have to spend time fighting for things I feel I need - my husband has always responded posively to anything I need...... Jackie

This is the  level of support that I wish my immediate family, outside of Cameron, could get too.  He is soooo there for me.  Already planning our exercise schedule at home and at the gym and he's looking as forward to it as I am, which is making it so much easier for me to want to do this.  I guess maybe what my parents are experiencing is fear.  Fear that something will happen to me, their daughter and mother of 1 of their grandchild or even fear that maybe I won't do as well as I am hoping and anticipating.  I suppose I should, for a minute, while wanting them to see things from my point of view and to respect me, my decisions and thoughts, I should do the same with them.  I just want to thank everyone for their knowledge and expressing things that they have experienced,  felt or thought.  It definitely is helping me learn so much more about this WLS that I never thought about.  It means so much to me to be taught by some of the most knowledgeable people around. Hugs, Theresa