Monday's Thought for the Day.....

CAREFUL WORDS In our lives and journeys we have ALL come across times when we say something or even write something that wasn't appropriate, helpful, respectful etc. We might think following it "I shouldn't have opened my mouth" or "I shouldn't have written/said that."  We as obese individuals know all too well have words can cut like a knife. We've dealt with ridicule, gossip, stares, etc. Pre-op and post-op words can build us up or tear us down. Encouragement and support can be positive even if the message has a stern overtone. For example: if someone is making bad food choices and posts either telling and asking for our advice its our role to give advice and suggestions in a respectful but to the point manner. There's a difference in being honest, supportive, understanding and to the point then being rude, "know it all" and disrespectful.  Thinking before we speak is VERY wise whether its in person, at home, at work or here on the boards. Are we being true to ourselves in what we say? Are we giving advice and speaking to others as we would want and need to be spoken to? Its a must to weigh the impact of our words, what the response will be from the person we're speaking to and keep in mind that our response isn't the only way, response or what have you.  Someone might be very sensitive to the subject of discussion while others are more accepting of blunt/direct responses. Hurting others feelings or disrespecting them is not how we'd like to be treated therefore, we need to show compassion, understanding, concern, respect and such in order to receive it back.  Do unto others as you would have done to you....the Golden Rule! Something I've learned personally is that the nature of the boards affords us the opportunity to read and digest before we reply with a response. I often find that when I read something and think about my response its not only better but more objective and defined. When I'm in person often times I'm not afforded that opportunity and I don't get out all I wish to say, it will be rushed and also I will think of other things I wished I'd said or said in a different way.  Do you choose your words carefully? Do you think of the person/audience you are speaking/writing to? Are you responding in a way that you wish to receive back? All best!

Great thought for the day! Shannon

Shannon!!  How WONDERFUL to see you here.  You have been on my mind so much lately.  I have been wondering how you are doing/feeling.  Welcome back, Sweetie!!

I totally get what you're saying, Kat...good topic.  If I may add to it... It is very easy to misinterpret the written word.  We are not afforded the ability to see body language, facial expressions, hear the tone or inflections in a voice which are all key elements to what we communicate to each other in person.  I personally find it much easier to respond to sensitive or difficult topics by pre-writing what I want to say, like in a word document.  That way I can take my time & choose my words carefully, re-reading what I've written & making appropriate changes to my text.  THEN if I'm satisfied, I come back here & post my final. I truly believe that we ALL have the best of intentions.  Some may be more articulate than others, some may not be as good at communication, but with some time & thought, we can all put out help or information in a way that won't ruffle too many feathers or be misunderstood.  Not to say that that couldn't still happen...sometimes it depends on the reader's mood. Anyway, that's my 2 cents worth.  Have a Blessed day, ya'll.

Good am Ann,  I do agree with you for the most part. I will add to yours (and mine) that coming/going to the source with questions/concerns is VERY important as well. Sometimes we might not understand someone's intentions and its important to have all the facts. Hugs........

Oh, very good point.  As the old saying goes, better to go to the horse's mouth rather than the horse's a$$...lol.  I ALWAYS prefer that someone come to ME if they have a problem with ME & I do the same.  Quite often here on OH I've heard people say that they've been inundated with PMs over particular topics & I believed I've broached this subject before, but I'll reiterate...do not expect someone else to speak for you.  We're all grown ups here, not children, & we all should be able to speak for ourselves.  Personally, I have NEVER gotten a ton of PMs about anything...not even when we had that last blow up with the gals over religion. (not trying to rehash THAT incident, btw).  And even if I had, I would have made it clear that I'm not going to be pulled into drama by others.  I read what was going on, formulated my OWN opinion, made my opinion known, & so things progressed from there.  I kept everything on the up & up & in the public view.  In MY opinion, that's the smartest way to keep the peace & yet still be allowed my personal thoughts be conveyed.  It works for me...perhaps it would work for most, but that's not for me to say.  I'm just sharing what works for ME. Ok, I'm off my soapbox!!