had an epiphany

So today is the "2 week before my surgery" mark and I woke up feeing the need to and wanting to do more to get ready for this surgery then I have since I made the decision to have it.  It started by going to my desk, a roll top desk with the big, long, tall drawer at the bottom.  This drawer has always been MY drawer.  The drawer I hit food in that I bought and would have killed someone if they touched it.  Pop tarts, Little Debbie cakes, Tasty cakes & the likes filled the drawer for what I always said was in case I ever experienced low blood sugar.  This morning, sitting at that desk, realized that that was my excuse, my way of rationalizing me having all that crap that I know, since I was a diabetic, I was not supposed to have.  So I pulled up the trash can and in it all it went.  I did my saying good bye to food.  I went to my pantry and did the same.  I cleaned out all the food that I know I can not and should not eat, leaving what the other people in the household can eat.  I was sad at first.  It felt like I was giving up a part of myself.  But I knew, deep inside, it was something I wanted and had to do.  The day got better.  I went to Cameron's school for lunch, and was there, with all those kids eating and didn't break my plan.  I sat there and ate nothing since I had my shake this morning.  After he got home from school, we went back up there and walked around the track 4 times, which totals a mile.  Not alot  for some but for me, with the heart and lung problems, it was a feat.  Every day, we will be there, walking and slowly increasing.  I was, still am sore, but it is a sore that I haven't felt before and 1 that I pray I feel again.  It is like this brand new person has taken over and entered my body and mind and I welcome that.  I have become more motivated in the last few days than I have been in a long time.  I know, with my surgery only being 2 weeks away, some may say it is a bit late but I think any improvement before my surgery will do nothing but benefit me during and after my surgery so...  BETTER LATE THAN NEVER!!  Thanks for reading. Hugs, Theresa

Theresa:  I am so proud of you!  Seriously.  It is hard to say goodbye to the old habits, but it sounds like you have decided to do it...and you are going to be so happy you have!  The exercise now is awesome -- keep it up!  The two weeks are going to pass really quickly, and you will be amazed how much these changes now will help post op.  :)

Hey Cindy.  Thanks for your reply.  Giving up the old habits are trying to kill me but I have decided that I will beat it.  I did have a salad at lunch today, but just lettuce and a few tomato chunks.  So at least if I cheated, it was a healthy cheat.  I am counting down the days and waiting patiently.  Hope they do go by fast. Theresa

Theresa, That is so great.  I am so happy for you. What a huge step to freedom.  GOOD LUCK ! Lanette

Thanks for writing back but most of all, thanks for the well wishes. Hugs, Theresa

Good am Theresa, Good for YOU! This is a great to step towards success. Next time you go to Cameron's school considering taking a water bottle with your favorite Crystal Light or water and sipping it while there with him. You might also consider taking some fresh fruit to eat or even a shake. You WILL feel that soreness again and its a good thing. I'm proud of you but keep in mind all the walking will help you post-op as well. Its helps to get you into a habit that's RAWKIN'! All best!

Hey Kat.  Thanks for writing.  I took your advice and when I went to school today for lunch, I had a side salad.  Didn't think that would hurt too much.  I walked again today.  No more then yesterday but each time I walk,  I know that I am burning off a view calories and hopefully, I will have lost enough weight on this pre op diet.  Thanks for your suggestions. Theresa

Thereasa.... Way to go!  It's hard....it's like losing your best friend.  But, as we already know...some friends are just toxic and it is usually best that we stay away from them because of the baggage they bring into our lives. I'm proud of you.......

Hey Jill,  You said it perfectly.  Food has been a best friend many many times before and for as long as I can remember.  You being as successful in this journey as you are and being proud of ME is more then I could imagine.  It means so much to me.  From day one you have been an inspiration to me and I know that as long as I follow your journey, and listen to what you have to say, pay attention to your praises, criticism and advice, I am sure to be successful as well. Thanks so much Jill! Hugs, Theresa

Great work Theresa its like putting part of us to rest. And its sad and it is painful but we need to make this step to get through the next step and so on etc. You have made the right move and Im proud of you! You are making the best move for you your health and the rest of your life. And the mile  girl thats  awesome!!!! You go dont over do it take it  slow at first like you said  and build yourself. Keep us posted and we are here no matter what you have in the next few weeks and you know we are here after as well. Hugs