From your arm-chair shrink...

I agree about how important it is to share & seek support when we need it.  I know being here with the family as I was first struggling with my depression issues made such a big difference.  The importance of sharing was imbedded in me & I used the opportunity to open up & share my depression story with one of my "adopted" children who is struggling with some stress/anxiety/panic.  I was able to let him know that is okay to need help, and some different things to consider in order to make things better for him.  I am hoping that some of it sunk in.  Love you Anne!!!!

Yeahhhhhh Courtney!!!  Pay it forward, baby...pay it forward! 

Anne,

Ok...thanks for making me cry at work.  This post is perfect.  It is something we all needed to see,  Thank you for taking the thought and time to write it.  I, too, pride myself in being strong all of the time for everyone, everyone but myself.  There was a time just a few months ago (December and January) that I was ready to kill myself.  If it weren't for my daughter and my father that need me...ok, and Steve, too (even though he doesn't need me as much as Kara and daddy) I probably would have.  I came here and although I still have not confided to anyone what was going on, I knew I had the support and prayers of my extended family.  I got stronger every day with my own prayers and from my family(all of you).  I was greatly embarressed and did not believe in myself.  The mail, e mails, PM's and phone calls that I got slowly showed me that I am important to you all and that I am needed here,  It helped me more than anyone will ever know and I am grateful and now I do not hesitate to bring my problems to my friends.  I am sure something will come up and I will be hesitant again but for now I know where I am loved and that you are all my family no matter what.  On the flip side, I am everyone on this board's family, too, and I am always here for you.  No matter what...I will never look down on you and will never turn my back on you.  

On that note, I want to say "THANK YOU" again to ALL of my family.  I love you much.

Tammy   

Ohhh Tammy, Tammy, Tammy!!  (roflmao...that's becoming an ongoing giggle for us both, I hope).  Killing one's self is NOT allowed, ok.  You know how we are all so sick of people telling us that we took the "easy way out" with regard to wl & how angry we get over that?  Well, suicide IS the easy way out...or so it would seem.  But that is never the answer.  Girl, we've all struggled so much already, that now's the time to reap the rewards.  I once heard a gentleman say, "I have no regrets in my life.  Would I change some things if I could?  Maybe.  Certainly take back some things I shouldn't have said.  But no regretts."  I like that.  As you told somebody on here recently, He doesn't give us more than we can handle.  So you hang onto that, baby girl...& IF that feeling should arise again, you come here.  We will help lift you up.  Besides, I have nothing to wear to a funeral & I'm not shopping for a drab, black shroud.  Yuck.  And for the record....I love you too.

Ummm....get off the subject for a second...everybody....there is no "e" in my name.  I've been noticing that many of you have been doing that lately...lol.  It's A N N.  Simple.  Got it?  Love you!!!!

Alrighty...Ann..I say Anne a lot cause Kara's middle name is Anne and it is a habit...sorry!  As for what I was gonna do (but thankfully didn't)  it is because I had the support of my extended family (only Steve knew on the homefront) and because of my faith in God.  I know he only gives us what we can handle...I say it often but it is hard to believe when we are going thru a rough patch.  Heck Ann, I even believed in my own depressed mind that my funeral would be just a few family members and that's it.  I was really in a bad way and honestly, it took months to get out of it.  I can honestly say that I am out of it and I pray that I never get back to that again.  I am much happier now! 
T

Depression means so many different things to different people.  I am one that is selfaware of my body and my emotions.  I think it is a skill I developed back when I was 21.  I was faced with a tramatic experience.  I could not use my normal coping mechanisms in dealing with this experience.  I had a 9 month old daughter and was 4 months pregnant with second child.  They need me. So I fought!!!  I turned around an became still.  I listened to my body, my soul, my spirit.  Through a two month process I overcame the worse of it.  At that point I was able to take a step back and focus in on me.  Who was I?  What are faults that I needed to change.  Where did I need to go?  That took another 3-4 months.  At the end of that journey when Amirah was born, Melissa was born at the same time.

Am I afraid of depression? No.  I welcome it.  When it comes, it usually tells me soemthing is off in my life.  Sometimes is hormonal. Like when I was pregnant with my son, I went to the doctors and got on antidepressant.  Same thing after I had him.  I am able to recognize the imbalance in my system.  But there are also time when it comes it may be from external or internal sources.  I be still again and listen.  I analyze the situation and determine the course of action I need to take. I may be able to resolve the issue at hand myself but I may need some professional help.  

I guess what I am saying, listen to your body, mind, spirit and soul.  The answer will lie in there.  If you need help through medication or professionally.  Don't be afraid to ask.  It may be something external that you may or may not have control over, and you need to decide how to handle it and resolve it.  There may be something internal and you may need to take a hard look at the real you and find you may need to make some changes to yourself.

I believe depression comes for various reasons.  It is not pretty, but I am not afraid of it.  Depression for me, means something is amiss and it can be fixed. 

BRAVO and WELL SAID!!!

You are SO right.....it is at those times when we really do not need to figure things out on our own.  We need shoulders to cry on, and someone to say "Snap out of it".

Thank you for being that person for me as well.. Must be something in the air these days - haha.  But..thank you for telling me what I though, but was not sure.  Thank you for pointing my compass back in the right direction.

And because you did that, I am beginning to accept this new chapter in my life and taking advantage of my new found kidless freedom.

I love you with all of my heart and appreciate you in more ways than you will EVER know.....

(((HUGS))))