Need a sounding board (Repost from OK Board)

Thanks guys for your kind words and support.  I know that I want this surgery and I know that it is the right thing for me.  I just wish more people had watched Bambi growing up and listened to the advice given to Thumper, the bunny.  "If you can't say something nice, DON'T say NOTHING at all."  Grammar aside - it's a great quote!  Thank you again for everything. 

Imagine you are a duck and the haters are water rolling off your back. 

But seriously, people really suck sometimes and I'm sorry you're going through this.  This is exactly why I was hush hush about my surgery; I just really didn't want to hear it!  What's that bumper sticker, "if I want your opinion I'll beat it out of you"?  That's the way I felt. 

Since the cat's out of the bag your going to have to find a way shake it off.  People can like it or not...it's not their life.  They'll come around, or they won't.  Don't concern yourself with how they feel because it truly is their problem.

Please don't be sad, you're getting ready to embark probably the biggest self improvement campaign of your life.  Your life is going to change is such a postive way you'll wish you'd done it years ago...trust me.  How many times in our adult lives do we have the opportunity to make such a positive change.  Turn that frown upside down and get excited.  Your wild ride is less than 3 weeks away!

You should ask these people if they wanted the same advice if they had a cancerous tumor.  (You know, not use any method to extend or save their lives)  Obesity is a disease currently without a cure however, can be successfully  treated with surgery.  Thank you very much!  Gina Holman-Garcia

Please get some of Dr. Wayne Dyer's audio disks. He has great advice on dealing with negative people and self esteem.  They have really helped me over the last months.

Wow! They put a heavy burden on you, but don't accept it! Many people don't understand, nor do they care to understand. Some will take the time to research or look at provided links or articles, but others give uninformed opinions based on bias or prejudice. You family is probably scared and not informed about obesity risks, causes, and surgical treatment. Try sharing information with them. One of my family members was shocked and didn't understand until I sent informational links and filled them in on my health issues that I am fighting but had not shared previously. You ARE doing this for your long term health! Bless your heart. Don't let others rob you of your joy, or diminish your decision to gain your health....and surgery is NOT the easy way. There's still diet and exercise to be done....Plus surgery! If it was an extra 10 vanity pounds we were wanting to lose, then maybe we could go the diet and exercise route more easily. But, if you're like me, you've already dieted your heart out...and lost and regained the same weight & more too many times. Let the nay sayers do what they want, but don't buy into it! They are ignorant! This is for YOU!

We have the same surgeon!  I'm sorry that you are going through this.  Reading your post helps me reaffirm my promise to myself not to tell too many folks ahead of time.  Some people just really don't get it.  They mean well...I think...but they really don't get it.   Do what is right for you, not what is right for them.

Its hurtful and hateful to have people giving their judgment and having it be so negative. I agree with Jake, get the Wayne Dyer cd's they help sooooooooo much with how to maintain your sanity around people who have no business in your business.  My favorite favorite favorite Wayne Dyer quote is......... and I'll type it LOUD for you!!!  "Your opinion of me is none of my business."   The blank look people get as they try to figure that one out is priceless.  Stop listening to others. And that that skinny wench to keep her mean comments to herself.  When she comments on your physique (your feet no less!) just say "What would make you say something like that to me?"  Then walk away.  She thinks she is entitled to say whatever she wants because you are overweight.  This is actually harrassment and she could lose her job.  Perhaps she ought get a reminder that her mouth is huge, and it might land her in a world of trouble.  OOOH I Am so steamed for you! Its hurtful with family, always.  My parents weren't thrilled, but my mom was supportive.  My dad didn't say anything at all, didn't really talk to me about it at all, but managed to get out "your face looks smaller and you don't look as puffy."  They come around, and if they don't, screw 'em. Life is too short to live unhappily because someone else doesn' tlike what you've done.  Making changes scares people.  They get really freaked when you start to change.  Its THEIR problem, not yours. Don't take it on.

You have chosen a wonderful, talented surgeon.  Were you at the support group last night?  It is a warm and supportive atmosphere.  If you haven't decided to attend the support groups when they meet you really should.  I think this is essential to success. As for your family, when you are safely out of surgery, losing weight, and healthy they should relax and be happy for you.  They love you.  They are scared for you.  Hang in there!

Sounds like to me you have some jealous people in your life,tune them out,if your hubby agrees and supports you that is all you need.Lets see what they say when you are losing.

I like Fred's response, men deal with stuff so much more directly than we women do. The co-worker is a skinny you-know-what and she has never walked a mile in either of our shoes so ignore her completely.  I didn't tell anyone at work because I didn't want them watching my every move and judging me. I don't think my mom was thrilled with me having surgery, infact she did say she thought I should go back to WW.  She and I did WW in 1980 and we both lost tons of weight BUT back then I was 24 yrs old, active, in college and working.  I kept the weight off for about 3 yrs than had a relationship that went really BAD and I comforted myself backup to my starting weight.  Haven't got below 215 since then.  So even though my mom knows we both have weight issues(she's overweight again but also 86 yrs old) she didn't like the surgery.  Now my brother who weighs about 350 is hoping to have the surgery soon so he was very supportive.  Even though mom wasn't happy with me she did call and check on me several times(she's in CA and Im in GA). So depend on your hubby.  Don't tell too many people unless you know they will be  supportive and don't expect a skinny person to ever be able to understand.  We understand and so does your hubby so what more do you need.  Hang out here and ignore everyone else!!!