How do you tell someone

My husband loves me the way I am. I have been up and down and mostly up all our married life. So this is how I did it. I said " I have made a decision and you won't like it but I have to do it, I am having WLS" I then explained how I felt about myself fat and he told me he knew because he had been with me all these years. He thinks its mostly in my head, that people look at me oddly because I was fat. But he will support me. Let them know you have made the decision and you are just letting them know you will need there support (not permission)

Hi there, It is hard. The people that truly love us see past the weight. My mom and I just had a deep conversation about this recently. I am over a year out now. When I told her I wanted the surgery she was not happy  about it. She was just worried about me and more scared that something might happen to me(on the surgery table). But she quickly came on board when I explained how I felt living in an almost 400 lb body at that time.  So on to the conversation we had. She told me that I look so different now from the picture she has on the wall of me a few yrs ago.That she never really saw me that heavy but that now I have lost the weight she can really see how it held me down in alot of aspects of my life. She said she was worried that I might get malnutritioned and now she see that is not going to happen. She said I did a very good thing for myself and for my family--and for my health.  My dh knows my struggles with weight and knew if I could find a way and had my mind made up that there would be no changing it. He is the type to love me unconditionally...fat or thin. He has never said a bad word to me me when I was heavy about my weight. Now as I am losing he is the same...once in a while he will say OMG...I can get my arms all the way around you. But he doesn't overload me with compliments. Which is fine. He loves me how ever I am.  I will say it has changed some friendships and it does cause some jealousy. But now a yr out most of those friendships have weathered and they are finding out I am that same person I was before. Only I feel healthier and more active.  Just tell them from your heart why your doing this. That is the most important thing. Health and future health means ALOT!  Another side story..ran into an uncle last night who hasn't seen me in quite awhile. He was totally shocked and said did I leave half of myself home! I said yes I did. Told him I have lost close to 200lbs. He was than shocked and said he never thought I weighed that much. I said well..you love me and looked past that weight and I thank you for that. So that was another proof to me that the people that care about you do look past your weight and even health issues.  I wish you well. Do prepare yourself to be questioned and questioned again about what your doing and why. I told very few people pre surgery..only because I did not want to deal with the stress of that on top of the surgery and the changes that meant. My mom, my kids, one sister and my dh were the only ones that knew. Once the deed was done I told everyone. Cause no one could say anything to stop it than. For me it just worked better that way.  Wishing you well on your journey and good luck with your family. I hope they will be supportive for you. Cathy

I started by telling everyone I was "looking" at WLS and saw what kind of reactions I got from there. Then I would bring it up randomly and eventually told them that I had done my research and I was going to go for it.

here is some advice that is good for any occassion.     To break the news and not sure how, or it, try this.      Mention to whomever you want to tell,   " I heard there is this new  surgery, it's less invasive than say   bypass, but people are raving about it on line,  You get full faster and it really cuts down on health issues due to weight ",, then see if they say  NO way, or   , oh how kewl, or  ask more.  I think the ones that say, DO NOT even think about it,  well  then you can go quiet and rethink if you want them in your head during such an important time in your life.   If they say,  wow,  very good idea,  then you can say good,  I'm going to have it done ", So ease them into it,  get  a foot in the door to how they feel,   then decide how much to go into detail.    do not let anyone rain on your parade,  remember when we do something to improve ourselves it makes other look at themselves, so it's very emotional for all involved.    For health and vanity fine, we  like to look good aside from health issues,   it's find, whatever reason. Cheri

This is such a great question!
I had a really hard time when I told my mum about my decision... she was very against it and was scared for me and it took a great deal of convincing and flyers etc to get her to understand. I think that only now, nearly three months after my surgery is she finally starting to support me.
Family and friends were a mixed bag, from the ones who said 'oh you only need to exercise more' to the ones who were scared I would lose more weight than they were (on whatever bloody diet they happened to be on at the time!) - guess what I have lost more weight than them and now I do exercise more! Ha!
And I just wanted to say that it is ok to be vain, why not want to look better? I have so much more confidence now and I know I look better and darn it 'I LOVE IT!' I also chose to do this for medical reasons but this vain stuff is a great reason too!
I am so happy with my decision now that I tell anyone who asks, and they all ask because you can tell I've lost weight, so I tell them the truth.
Even when I order food out I ask them to give me a smaller serve - I don't care if I pay for the normal sized serve - and I tell them that I cannot eat much as I have had weight loss surgery so the food will be wasted.
The plain and simple fact is that there is nothing wrong with you as you are now - your family will be right when they tell you that.... but you are allowed to want something more or better for yourself!
Good luck and hold your head up high when you tell them; you are a beautiful woman who is making the right decision for you - that is what is important!
Cheers
Rochelle in Adelaide, Australia

Thank you all for your suggestions i feel alot better now and more confident about the way my conversation will go. Although i am not a daily poster, i am a daily lurker and knew that is board was a great one and that i could get help here!!  Thank you all so much!