Horrifying?

Hugs   Mom's are like that.  Try not to take it in a negative way.  My mom didn't want me to have the surgery yet she was always quick to say I needed to lose weight.  Now she is somewhat supportive except she is quick to point out that I am not eating enough for a bird. 

To be honest my first response when I saw a piece on TV about the surgery was that is was scary.  Glad I learned better.

BTW welcome to the bench.

Thanks for all the supportive feedback.  I did end up talking to my mom at length and I think she is feeling supportive but is doing her best to take it all in.  It does seem crazy...it seems crazy to myself at times! 

I just looked in the mirror.  I saw my face!  For the first time in a couple years, I looked in the mirrior and saw my face!  I have lost 25 lbs on the pre-op diet and then 4 lbs in the past 3 days!

You've gotten lots of great feedback and it sounds like you've talked it out with your mom.  I just wanted to add that when I first learned about VSG I thought it sounded barbaric.  I mean, why in heaven's name would a person CHOOSE and self pay to have part of a perfectly good, normally functioning organ removed?  I really thought that.  Obviously I don't think that now, but it was my initial thought.  I think horrifying is actually a bit more flattering adjective than barbaric...and I HAD the procedure!

Well, on the surface, if you tell someone that you are going to have 80-85% of your stomach cut out it does sound fairly horrifying.  Not until you look into it does it start to make sense.  Everyone has their own experiences and points of reference, so I wouldn't worry about it too much.

My first thought is that your Mom was interested enough in what you did that she investigated the website you sent her.  I think that is a supportive step.  Give your Mom time to see what good it does for you.  She will be pleased in the way you life changes for the better.  She will be pleased to see how healthy her daughter is getting.  My Mom too thought it was weird and she has chosen to be supportive anyway.  She would never do it herself of course, but I believe families just want to see their family members healthy and happy.  Good luck.

I didn't even tell my parents until I was 4 weeks out.  I had seen them at 3 weeks but they didn't notice anything different about me.  So, I figured I woldn't say anything until they noticed the weight loss and they finally did this past Saturday.  They were a bit shocked but since I am obviously alive and healthy they were supportive.  I knew they would be freaked out with worry if I'd told them before surgery so I just didn't go there.  Once your mom sees how much healthier you become, she'll be better.

Laura

I am always so surprised when I read these comments about people who get upset when their mom says something - I think it was obvious that she was "horriifed" by the thought of you undergoing a surgery where half your stomach was being removed - but that would be normal for a mom who loves her kids...

You are a mom, now, too - so try to put yourself in her place when your kids get older & do something that seems so scary.....that does not mean that she isn't supportive of you and I don't know either of you, but it sounds like you have a chip on your shoulder when you say it sounded genuine....why would she not genuinely care about her daughter? 

Just because we try to give you our best advise and guidance does not mean we aren't supportive or caring.....I have five kids - remember - so maybe I have a chip on my shoulder about this kind of thing - I have been accused unfairly myself of not being supportive of things like creepy boyfriends - going nowhere jobs, getting into debt without prudent thinking, etc......but I always try to be straight with the kids and although I try to be diplomatic, it doesn't always get taken that way. 

My best friend is soooo tactful and never gets into her kids' business - but then she also has no idea of who they are dating or what they really think, etc - one daughter accused her of being so distant and uninvolved that she felt that the mom didn't care enough....so it takes all kinds & is a really hard job being a mom!

I appriciate your thoughts on this but dont think it is exactally fair.  If my child was recovering from a surgery, I hope I would not make those kind of comments knowing how it would make them feel.  I talked with my mom a great deal and she appoligized and I accepted it.  I know that her whole life she has had pain from her weight and she wishes she couldhave had options about weight loss too.  So we are good. 

I have a feeling it was not just WHAT she said but how she said it - right???  The tone of her voice??? 

You mom is right it is pretty horrible having your insides chopped up - but what you needed was comfort not commentary.  I think that's what you meant?

Mom's are ALWAYS our mom's and can make us feel GREAT or so small so FAST.

Remember - you have just had surgery, and TONS of meds - your body and mind are freaked out right now so you will be more sensitive and emotional for a couple of weeks.............but I PROMISE it WILL GET BETTER!!!!!

TAKE CARE of YOURSELF!!!

Gee - I certainly didn't mean to be unfair...on the contrary I was just trying to be fair and help you see it from a Mom's point of view since I would think your mom loves you a lot and you might have misunderstood - but anyway - glad it's all good between you two - maybe it's not too late for her to consider the surgery herself?  Once she sees how well you are doing she may want to join you!