OT: would you date a man who's 40 lbs overweight?

Thanks for your wisdom Going Mobile,

Yes it is shallow of me, a person that just paid $8 grand for weight loss surgery, to be concerned about entering into a relationship with someone who doesn't care about their weight.

Dang, some of you people are a bit harsh aren't ya?  

Suziq1964, I think you just aren't really attracted to him and that's okay.  Ya know, my husband is probably 40 pounds overweight and bald but I love him anyway.  It's his personality and that special something that makes me see an attractive man rather than the gut and bald head. 

If he were the one who made you feel good, it would be because of who he is and not what he looks like.  I think he must be a really nice man and if the chemistry were there, it wouldn't matter to you what he looks like.  Sometimes people can be just marvelous and it still just isn't there. 

And yes, if you want to be picky then you have every right to be picky!!  You gave it a chance.  You didn't say "oh, I don't want to date you because you're overweight."  I say do the thing that makes you feel the best!!!!

RubenO, that was just plain mean!!!!   Obviously suzq1964 isn't a mean person or she wouldn't be worried about her own reaction - she would just do whatever she wants to and damn whoever it hurts. 

"From a mans point of view, I think you should be happy you found a man that finds you attractive. "

LMAO...that's not a man's perspective, that's a misogynist's perspective.  She doesn't need to be "happy" that "a" man found her "attractive."  She needs to be concerned with whether SHE finds this dude attractive, and whether his lack of concern over his health is going to fit into HER new life.  If she doesn't and if it doesn't, there's plenty more fishies in the sea.  You're peddling some low self-esteem crap right there, and that's about as lame as it comes.

And the most (unintentionally) ironic part of your post is that there ARE plenty of threads like that, on plenty of "men's" forums all over the internet.  In the race to see which of the two sexes can be more hung up on looks, you're not seriously contending that women are in the lead?

You are a putz.

MM

 MM - You go girl!! Tell it like it is - applause in order!!!

while i dont think this is a comment that was really called for or needed and infact its quite rude, i do see that this thread may well be offensive to males waiting to have surgery, or those that only have 40lbs remaining to lose, seeing a person posting on whether we would date a person that is 40lbs over weight,  for some they might only have 40lbs left to lose and feel pretty dam good about them selves  and how they look.   ...  im pretty sure that suzi did not mean to offend anyone

your judging someone that your only dating its not like he is asking you to get married, only "date" him excusively.   You dont have to change someone to see if they are willing to go on a hike or a long walk with you, or go out dancing if he is willing to participate in activity that could lead to weight loss then thats when you should be making long term decisions, dating someone and being his girlfriend may or may not lead to marriage but its not til you start dating them that you really get to see them for who they are.... date him and then you should have your answer one way or the other. infact bring it up as to what kind of life he is wanting if its the couch potatoe life then youll know its not for you.  I can understand your concerned that your paid all this money out for surgery and you have this confidence in how good you look, well imagine this person feeling the same thing as you and maybe with your new way of eating and the fact you dont want to live a couch potatoe life style will bring him to the same head space that your at. 

Ok, Suzi, here is my take on this.

I think you are "just not that in to him."  Yes, he is a nice guy which is hard to find.  But...you aren't feeling the chemistry like he is. 

I think you are looking to us to either talk you into feelings you don't have or give you an out.

Ashley

Suzi - You know I love you but this is harsh....poor guy!  My husband when I met him was so totally hot and I still think he is....almost 19 years later.  Does he look the same?  Hell no!  He is 60 pounds overweight and losing his hair but after I went through my lust stage with him, I fell in love with the real him and I don't care if he is 300 pounds, completely bald and wearing speedos (which is not the case yet!), I will still love him unconditionally.  I am not exactly perfect myself after this weight loss.  My boobs have deflated and are hangin' lower and my legs shake from loose skin - not a purty sight - and my double chin is now a saggy chin - but he never fails to call me "gorgeous" and tells me I am beautiful.  Now that is love....and you will find it some day.