Telling my kids -- how do I explain this?

I have been reading a lot of your posts in the past week -- so helpful and encouraging. My procedure is scheduled for October 1. I've not seen anyone talk about how they approached this with their children. I don't want to lie to them but I also don't want them to worry. Where did they think you were while you were in the hospital? Have they had a lot of questions about your eating habits following surgery? Perhaps I am not looking in the right spot for information on these topics -- forgive me if I am out of step! Message boards are new to me.

How old are your kids? I have a 10 yr. old grandson, and he is so excited for me to loose weight as he has seen me struggle, so he is 100% behind me.
jojo
welcome, and good wishes on your recovery!

Hi Fire Wheel!
You are in the right place!
My husband was really against me doing this.  He thought that my surgery would send the message to our girls that I was unhappy with my body, and it would give them a poor body image. 
Obviously, I did not agree! My girls are 7 and 9, if that helps:
I sat my girls down and told them I was having a surgery done that would remove a part of my stomach removed.  I told them that I was obese, and that while people are beauitful at all different weights, being obese carried health risks.  Then we talked about diabetes, heart disease, etc.  I told them that the surgery would help Mommy make better choices with food, and that it meant that Mommy would no longer have to diet again, and that I would be a healthier weight, and would probably live longer because of it.
They thought it sounded fine, and weren't too concerned.  They were much more worried about missing me while I was gone and wanting to go with me, than with any concerns about the surgery.
Hope that helps!
Melanie

WOW!  I Love the new Avatar

That helps a lot. My husband is lukewarm to the idea, too. He wants to be supportive but doesn't want to give my daughter the idea that beauty is only for thin people. She is only three, but does watch everything I eat and do! So, I know she will notice a drastic change.

My son is 8 and I think he will understand better. Were you still able to cook for them after surgery? Was that hard? I think my son will be worried about me if he knows I am at the hospital -- his grandmother passed away recently and I know he associates death with hospitals. Thanks for your perspective. You look amazing! Congratulations.

My daughter was 12 (now 13) when i had the surgery. I chose to fully inform her because of her age and she is already starting to struggle with her weight and i didn't want her to feel self conscious about my weight loss. Informing her was the right decision in our home. She understood completely and has started to educate herself about different options she may have in the future. She is currently very active and eats pretty healthy for a teen, but is still struggling with her weight due in large part to bad genes! As for cooking; I cook now more than I did pre-op! I now feel free to express myself more cooking because I know I'm not going to eat up the whole kitchen! In the beginning I prepared somethings differently for me and my family, but when I got to the maintenance stage, everything is basically the same. I just eat much smaller portions of whatever my family is eating unless I want something different. In my opinion, this is one of the best things about the sleeve, there is no special lifelong diet required. As for the types of foods, I know you will hear differing opinions, I hear some people obsessing over carbs and such like they are still on a diet. I eat what I want, when I want it. I don't deprive myself of anything and it has worked well for me.

I too am having the same dilemma with my 11 and 17 yo.
 
Not sure how to approach my kids but I did tell my 19 year old and she was totally supportive. Of course she's worried but she kind of understands and has seen how I've struggled.

I'm guessing your children are younger?

My concern is that I'm sending them the wrong message and that it's purely for vanity reasons which is only half of it. My husband had the surgery 1 year ago so they are familiar with what he's been through but he is their stepfather. It's different with me I'm sure.

More than anything, I am  worried about telling them I'm going to Mexico to do this!!!

I will be interested to see how other people have handled this situation because there can't be an easy answer with this one.

Good luck to you and I can't wait for some advice for the both of us!!!

Yes, my kids are 3 and 8. My daughter is the three year old and she is at the point where she mimics everything I do. I am worried she won't eat because I am not eating. And, I am worried my 8 year old son will really worry about me while I am in the hospital.

I agree about the vanity part -- there is some of that for me but mostly it's about being able to do what I want. I feel very frustrated that I have to worry about my weight as an element to planning our family activities, And, I want to loose the weight to set a good example. It's hard to take someone seriously when they are preaching the importance of exercise when they are not able to exericise much due to weight.

I know this is the right decision. And I believe that how I approach it with the kids will be the defining factor for whether this is an issue for them or not. Thanks for your input!

Good luck in Mexico. Who is going with you?

 My opinion because i have a 5 year old, i will tell him that mommy has a problem with her tummy and the dr is going to fix it. When im on liquids and what not, just say he fixed it now i have to be gentle with my tummy til it gets better, now if your kids are older i would tell them the truth but make sure you add that dieting has failed, and your doing it for your health.

Good luck,
Nancy