Telling my kids -- how do I explain this?

My daughter is almost 4. I told her the day before my surgery that mommy had to go to the hospital for a surgery to fix her tummy. She went to the hospital to visit me and has seen my incision area. We talked about how the doctor put a tiny little instrument in my tummy to look around and fix a boo boo. I told her I will be much healthier now that the doctor did surgery on my tummy. She is fine with this. I'm home on my 2 week medical leave from surgery and the hardest part for her is that I can't pick her up (5lb limit from doc). She played with her dolls for a few days after surgery and preformed surgery on them. :) I tell her all the time that we love doctors and how blessed we are that the doctor fixed my tummy so mommy can be much healthier.

I have 7 children aged 10, 9, 7, 6, 4, 3, and 2. I was excited for my surgery so I told the older 2 girls and they were happy for me. The 3 middle boys were concerned and had questions and I answered them honestly and as they came. The younger 2 went along with everything a0okay.

If you are overly nervous, or scared then they will feel that and feed off it. They will in turn be scared for you and react.

I will say I was honest with them, that things could go wrong, but that I was confident in my doctors and that everything would be just fine. I am one who does not like to lie to my kids and I'd hate to tell them that everything would be absolutely perfect and fine and then mommy never come home again.

We dropped the kids off at friends house the night before surgery since my surgery was the first for the day and I had to be at the hospital at 5:30am. I just was not going to make it harder on others by dropping them off at a house at 4:30 or 5 in the morning, so sleepovers were best in our case. Especially with 7 kids. 2 friends split them up and watched them for us.

My oldest son gets the most concerned for me. He worries about me a lot over little things so he was relieved when he was able to visit me in the hospital and see for himself that everything was fine. My 4yo son was the same way. My baby just missed me.

My DH was unemployed at the time (still is, sigh) so I was grateful to have all of his help around the house and with the kids. He kept them off me, and let me rest a lot, and he made sure dinners were taken care of so that I wouldn't have to deal with it.

As time has gone on I don't mind making meals because now I can sample them or even eat with them.

You'll know what to say to your kids when the time comes. The calmer you are and more confidant you are the better they will take the new.

This is a great question and a very hard one to answer I think because every parent and child is so different. My daughter is almost 8 and although she understands why this will be good for me and wants it for me she is beyond terrified too. This is because she still vividly remembers watching my mom go back and forth in and out of the hospitals and hospice before she died. My dd and my mom were as close as you could get. So it has been terribly hard on my daughter to trust that someone can go to the hospital and come home again and be okay.

Of course she's older now and she understands that you aren't going to die just because you go to the hospital, but that fear still overtakes her. When I had my other two children she was a mess. With the baby who was born in December it ended up being an emergency c section and OMG was my poor daughter really a mess. It was hard for her when things didn't go as planned.

For me I have talked to her and want to be as honest as possible but it's tough. I must also mention that she has OCD which makes this harder. Not to go into a whole thing about OCD but it's not just handwashing and fear of germs like most people think. So anyhow I'm having trouble telling her exactly what the risks are of the surgery or of my staying so big. Sometimes I don't think she could handle even thinking about losing me.

I guess for me the closer I get to surgery I'm  just going to take it day by day. I struggle with if I should write my kids a letter if something should happen. I would like to just in case. Then again it seems so morbid and almost like jinxing myself even though I know that's stupid.

Okay I've gone on and on, sorry! I wish you the best of luck with this, it's really tough!

I think i would tell them that mommy is going to go have her tummy fixed so that she can lose weight and be able to do lots of fun things with U!! I would not go into the details...not everything has to be out on the table so that they worry.
Your question is vadid as are everyones..that is what a support board is for luv!
Congrats on taking control of your life!! Your kids will be all the better for it as well.

I was up front and honest with my kids. My son is 9 (was 8 at the time) and my daughter 4. I told them I was having surgery to help me lose weight and be healthier. I answered all questions honestly. I also told them that by losing weight it would help me be able to play with them more and jump on the trampoline and stuff. They really liked that. As a matter of fact about 3 weeks ago my 4 yr old said Mommy you said you would jump on the trampoline with me after you had surgery so on the trampoline I got. It was the 1st time and I wasn't totally freaking about whether I'd break it or not. However I couldn't jump high like her and she didn't understand that. My son is very smart but doesn't understand how my clothes don't fit anymore how they are to big because I have to buy him more clothes because he is out growing his.
They have never missed a beat and rarely bring it up.
That being said my husband is having VSG by Dr. Alvarez 10/17 and we still haven't told the kids. They know we are going on a trip to Mexico but we have been unsure as to telling them Daddy was having his surgery there. We will tell them it's just a matter of figuring out how and when.
Best of wishes to you.

When I talked to my daughter (age 8) about it she burst into tears! I wasn't sure why, but she explained that she loves me just the way I am, and thinks I am beautiful now ... such a sweet kid ... I guess my indoctrination over the years that a person has value and can be beautiful at any size has worked. She also said that she likes having a mum with a soft belly to snuggle up with...

Anyway, I explained that I am having the surgery because I want to be healthier, live longer, and be able to do things like ride horses, kayak and bicycle - that I'll be able to have more fun with her if I lose weight. She was still pretty dubious.

Then she went to school and when she came back home one afternoon said "I've been looking at all the other moms and I guess it will be a good thing if you have the surgery."

Now she is just worried about having to put up with her cranky dad for a week while I am away! (I am going to Mexico and my Dad in So. California will go with me for the surgery in Mexicali.)

Thanks so much for all of your feedback and words of wisdom. Somewhere in all of those approaches I think I've figured out how to approach this! Now, if I can just hold steady and not chicken out before my surgery date I should be golden.