A Fat Size 6!

2 Scales, One for 6 and Up and One for 6 and Down:

I completely understand this.  I am 5'10" and have pretty much always been a size 6, but recently after gaining control of my wine addiction (thank you Holy Spirit) I've gone from 135lbs to 127 lbs (now 124,  but it's still somewhat the same although I am finally noting the external fat pads shrinking) on a good day.  Still I look at my body in deep consternation disturbed by the same fat folds protruding, trying to figure out if the scale is broken or if I'm existing in some surreal spiritual smoke and mirrors twilight zone dimension in which the devil just wants me to be deluded concerning my level of fitness, that is until I looked up height and weight for supermodels and discovered I could blatantly stand to drop another 10 in order to lose the bothersome unsightly last 7 pounds of subcutaneous fat.  Size 6's have no empathy, cannot commiserate with other depressed size 6's on Facebook for fear of a public lynching, all the while understanding the difficulty in going from a 16 to a 6 is most likely just as equivalent as going from a 6 to a 4 so as to remove the last bit of unsightly flesh; and by the way proportionately the size 10's normally have nearly the same percentage of unsightly subcutaneous loose fat.  No one has any pity, and the worst aspect of the last 10 pounds is slipping on that size 6 skirt with the spare pockets of fat still hanging over the rim, reminding you of your lack of fitness, but all the same recognizing that you must be on the cusp which causes even more angst experiencing the closeness sans the reward of aesthetics, health.  I think Satan knows the same, the elites, hence the BMI so high on standard charts.  Meaning I would nearly right now appear underweight on a government chart, but no I am not for my perfect weight is 119, 120 lbs most probably.  Satan has the masses fooled, deluded.  I can't believe I ever thought I was relatively fit at 135 lbs, because now I understand it's kind of like all or nothing.

Your post reminded me of when I was thin, about 15 years ago now!... Anyway, I was 135 lbs wearing a size 5 on top and a size 7 on the bottom.  I was a pear shape of course and still am.  I disliked my body, my shape, my skin tone etc...  I thought only plastic surgery could help.  Back then I thought I needed a breast augmentation to balance out my shape to an hour glass shape and a lower body lift to tighten my legs and butt. 

Now, I still feel the same about needing the plastic surgery some day, but actually think I do need it...REALLY! *Giggles*  Although I doubt I'll ever be able to afford it! *Giggles*  But the strange thing is I feel smaller now???  I look in the mirror and I find I don't look so bad, I'm big, but I like the fact that I have a small waist and big hips???

I figure my mind has finally accepted me but in the reverse so my perception is still off! *Giggles*  I often think that I have anorexia in reverse!  *Giggles*  Someday, someone will prove me right I'm sure! *LOL*