Losing the steam to get to goal

 First of all, let me say I'm very happy with my weightloss.  I've lost 86.5% of my ew.  This, after my surgeon told me in October that I'd probably stall out around 200lbs. (-77lbs.).  I've gone on to lose another 25 so far.  In some respects I'm satisfied.  I can shop in normal stores, and while not thin or skinny by a long shot, I'm not huge.  I can sit in chairs, I can walk around a city on vacation.  But there is also a side of me *****ally wants to see bigger changes.  To be a thin person, to happily wear shorts (if this will ever happen?!).  

Many of you on here have lost weight faster than I have.  I chose to eat a much more varied diet and I have been supremely happy in that.  I have never felt that I had to diet at all.  And that, to me, was the key.  But now, as my weightloss slows, I know that I will probably have to reign in my behaviors to continue losing.  I am still losing, but very slowly.  Part of me is very concerned about doing this because I have worked so hard to make healthy decisions and to not purposefully deprive myself.  Because for me deprivation is only one side of the coin, the other is out of control indulgence.  I have tried to live somewhere in the middle.  

Like I say, I'm happy with what I've done so far, and how I've done it.  There is a temptation to rationalize why I'm already at "goal" but I know I'm not satisfied.  I just don't know how to get it going again when I'm supremely worried about getting back into the vicious dieting cycle.

You know, for me it really helped just to stop and not worry about losing weight for awhile. I stopped for about 6 months. I maintained my weight and I just started trying to lose the last couple of pounds again.

A break is good!

mary

This is just my 2cents, and it's not going to all come across "right" because you can not hear my voice inflection/tone via an internet forum. SO, please know this is not snarky.

You chose a path, you are content with that path, but now that path is NOT giving the you the end result you want. In my opinion, anything can be done for XX amount of time. So, why not evaluate where you could cut some calories or carbs, increase fluids, or exercise more do it for 30 days, and see if you get the results you are seeking? ? ? I'm not saying crash diet, nor deprive yourself of foods you like, but if that means dropping the whole bread or healthy carb options for a more protein dense choice for just one meal/snack per day, are you really depriving yourself? Deprivation to me is to say "never again" or "I'll not eat this for the rest of my life".

The path I chose got me to goal hard and fast and I worked back in more food choices into maintenance. I live an extreme life of moderation with zero deprivation, but when I saw a creep on the scale over the holidays, I cut the wine and mojito consumption, and my holiday grub fest came to stop. I didn't quit eating Funyuns, but I ate some beef jerky before so I would eat a few funyuns instead of the entire bag. Does that make any sense? I wasn't deprived, and I lost those 5lbs of holiday weight I put on over Halloween to New Year's eve, and I did it in around a week's time. 3 months of partying, and eating whatever gave me 5lbs, about a week of modifying my eating, and slowing down on the wasted calories of alcohol gave me the results of losing those 5lbs.

I feel the same way! I was 172 on 3/14 and 174 on 3/21 and back to 172 on 3/28...I keep thinking I'm done losing and I am really happy about my progress so far but I don't want to stop either. I have a feeling I will never be satisfied with how I look...it's a never ending battle for me (and you too it seems like)...maybe we should "take a break" like Mary did and see what happens...?

I think motivation can be harder to keep  the further we get out, but i tend to agree with USAWIFE make small ajustements nothing major and see if it makes a difference, maybe upping your protein a bit and fluids.

we have summer just around the corner so maybe that can be your foccuss to keep going til then with minor ajustments.... nothing serrious just small ones here and there and see if it helps pick up the loss.

I have to be very carb conscious and that's not always fun, but I've learned to live with that. My choices with eating less calories and fat are a lot more in line with the deprivation that you are talking about.

I totally MISS fatty foods like nuts, cheese, etc. However for right now, until I get to goal, I am avoiding them as much as I can. Exactly what USAF Wife said.. I'm thinking about getting to goal as quickly as I possibly can (if it is even possible) and then allowing myself the fatty foods again.

When I want them and I decide not to have them, I daydream and think about being at goal and being done with this difficult phase and being able to have them in small amounts again.

It is a means to an end.. this way of eating is a gateway to the goal.. I must pass through it to get there. Your gateway may be different than mine.

I can't psychologically deal with slow loss very well, so I'd rather work hard and give up things to get there faster, so I can begin living that promised life of a more moderate life without kind of obsessively watching my fat intake and exercising and counting the calories I burn, etc.

I do think I'll have to be mindful and conscious of my weight my entire life, but I don't think it will be to the degree that I have to do now to get it off.. so I'd rather hunker down and get there and be done with it.

Maybe this would work for you, maybe not.. just food for thought. Hugs..

 I mean this in the gentlest way.  I understand the black and white thinking that is involved in dieting.  I have been the prisoner of it for a huge part of my life.  However, there is another truth too, and that is that there is no way for many of us to get to our "ideal" body image without giving up certain foods for the duration.  Some of us can do it, but they are the few lucky ones, at least that is what my observation shows me.  For the rest of us, there is a choice between learning to live with a healthier body that is still in the obese or overweight category without too much effort and deprivation, and a slimmer body that we get through pushing the losing phase to the limit.  I chose the second option because I knew I could not be at peace with the first.  This is not true for everybody.  For some people the first choice really is a better option.  But the truth for many of us, is that you can't have the cake and eat it too.  I think you are going to have to make peace with one or the other option and know that it is not forever, you are free to change your mind or rewrite the rules or come up with a new goal.  Nothing about this is written in stone.  You can "try" on any behavior that appeals to you and see how it goes.  

I get where you're coming from.  I've lost very slowly, counting every calorie and carb with mega hours of exercise.  My surgeon wanted me to get to 175.  At 167-169 I was sure I was done losing and started to rationalize (for me) that it would be ok because I was wearing 10's and 12's.  I haven't been under 189 since 1970's.   Then I decided that I wasn't ready to call it yet and had to really look at what I was or wasn't doing.  After a back injury in October, I wasn't able to do more than light walking so I got myself into physical therapy in January.  I pulled out my old Atkins books and went ro 20-30 carbs which is what works for me.  I've since healed my back with pilates, yoga and physical therapy so I'm back to exercise at least an hour a day.  Today I walked the lake by my house, 3 miles once in the morning, then again tonight,  with a 30 minute walk at lunchtime.  I'm down 10 pounds from when I thought I wouldn't lose anymore.

So the question is, will you ever have regret if you look back and wonder how it would have been if you kept going?  I know my own personal answer is that I would regret it.  I don't see much that will be different even if I did call goal.  I'd still be eating protein firs****ching carbs and exercising as much as possible.  So why not keep going?  That was how I decided what was right for me.  I just view it as my own personal challenge.  Wherever I end up, I'll be happy and I'll love the success that I have!