Why do I compare myself?

Feeling sad today.  I don't know why I compare myself to others so much.  I know I shouldn't.  I know we are all different people with different backgrounds, genes, life experiences. But I did today and now I am feeling like a loser.

I was looking at my friend from college her facebook post (and she is beautiful by the way --skinny/big boob) and saw that she went on a vacation with another friend from college.  1st I realized, why don't I do fun stuff like that, vacation with friends ---heck even my family/siblings? 

Anyways, seeing this other friends picture made me realize what a disguisting pig I have became/become.  I feel like a loser that I don't look like I did in college (not even close, and I wasn't even skinny in college).  They look like the same or better --hot mama's or better yet, put together mama's.  Having fun on vacation, smiling, you know?

I just came back from a nice vacation to Hawaii and all I see in my photos is sweaty, fat, double chin women with beautiful children sitting by a beautiful beach. 

"If" I can go down another 40-50 lbs I will be at college weight, will I feel like a 'put together mama'? Or will I just see that fat girl I know?? 

And if you are wondering, yes, I look at other people's progress and torture myself into thinking I should be able to lose more faster....and what is my problem!

Getting skinny typically doesn't resolve all self-esteem/self-worth issues. If that were the case supermodels and gorgeous actresses wouldn't be complaining about their double zero sized asses being fat, bulimia and anorexia and body dysmorphia would not be true, very real, dangerous mental and physical health issues that are prevalent among women worldwide.

It took nearly a year for me to not see the fat girl, and to not reach for bigger sizes when out shopping. When I went from a size 22/24W to a size 2, it's still pretty surreal and unbelievable. BUT, I've learned that I'm worth all the joy that other naturally thin women have. I have my own issues with my body, but you know what, I wouldn't trade the saggy, flabby skin for my previous back fat, and enormous stomach that being 270lbs gave me.

Great post..I hope that one day I can not see the fat girl..I was just telling my friend the other night that I still don't feel like I am going to have success at this..mind you I have no reason to think that, but it's that fat girl inside me causing self doubt that I will never change...so frustrating..i hope I get to where you are one day...

Shannon

I know it's hard.. I struggle withi myself, but try your best not to compare yourself to others.

Everyone is different in terms of loosing weight. I mean there are people out there who had surgery after me and started at a lower weight and have lost more weight than I have. A question I have never asked though is how many inches have those person lost? There's a good chance I could be ahead of them on that!

You will drive yourself absolutely nuts if you're always comparing yourself to others.

Keep doing what YOU'RE doing!!!!

Well said USAF wife

Your post really made me sad - if you were in front of me, I would give you a big hug.  I didn't see a ticker for you, but I know that you've lost weight since November...focus on what you've accomplished!!  Please don't keep beating yourself up over Facebook pictures.  You should start planning your next trip - maybe for the end of this year or beginning of next!! You will be one hot - put together mama by then!!  Heck - we both will be!!!!  Hugs!!!!  Kris

chances are your friend's lives are not perfectly happy beds of roses.  everyone has problems and troubles.....

i call it "grass is greener syndrome"....and we're all prone to it at times.    "things would be better if...."  

no way.  the truth is....your life is fine.....your vacation was fine....your kids are fine......  and you could post amazing photos on fb too.... and someone out there would probably wish they were you!

we're obese because we ate more calories than our bodies needed.   we're not cursed or unlucky.  

and when you are thin again because of all your hard work and your nifty sleeve helping you eat fewer calories than your body needs.......   chances are high there will still be people to be jealous of....

fat or thin..... we're still the same people.   try to focus only on you and count your many blessings.....  those other people just don't matter.

Thank you so much for the up lifting posts you guys, I really needed that. 

I can't change what has happened to me in my past, I got fat and they didn't.  But I can look forward to the next year(s) as a healthier mommy, wife and friend.  I may never be 'skinny' but I might be a whole lot better than I was and am now. 

I'm sorry if I sounded sad; I do feel bad that I 'let myself go'; and yet I know it is so much harder for 'me' to lose weight than my skinny friends.  Life is unfair. 

I just wi**** would happen already; you know.  I know I have lost weight and look so much better, but I want to 'really, really feel it".

Thanks again, tomorrow's another day!
 

I can definitely relate to this.. I find myself doing this a lot, as much as I try not to. Sometimes it is hard to be on OH.. seeing all these people at goal, or who have better skin, or who are done with plastic surgery, or have lost more/faster, etc. You can't help but wish that you had the same thing.

You try to stop doing it but it's useless sometimes, and sometimes it gets to you especially if you are struggling in other areas of your life. During the weight loss phase you are kind of in limbo.. you want to celebrate but you also want to wait until you hit certain milestones or it's hard to celebrate and feel relief because you are still working so hard at it and dealing with the adjustments and fears of still trying to lose weight.

I wish I knew what to tell you to make this better.. I don't know the answer to that myself, but I sure can understand how you feel and I don't think we are alone.

So true!  I want to be happy about losing 65lbs...I want to be excited that I can fit into size 16 but I am still obese....that isn't really anything to be happy about. 

I just wish I was tettering on the normal side more than being a solid obese person.  It is hard to have patience and wait, but I am so ready.  I want so bad to go on nice vacations, and take a family pictures, I want to where white capris and skinny jeans and shop in Victoria Secrets. 

I just don't feel like I am even close to that.  When I was in Hawaii; I had a great time and didn't think too much of me being obese.  But when I look at the pictures that is who I see.  ugh so frustrating.