Not Telling People

OK, I don't want to tell anybody about the surgery beforehand, at least not outside my partner and kids.  My question is, don't people notice you're eating strangely, especially during liquids and mushie stages?  I don't think I can go stealth on this with my friends, can I?  I really fear the judgement and attention to what I'm eating or not eating.  I can see not telling co-workers but people you socialize with?  Also, if you didn't tell people about your surgery, what did you tell them you were having done?  It's a longer recovery than the lap-band.  An acquaintance of our group of friends had RNY and my OA friend said "oh, he did the easier softer way."  I *know* this isn't easier and softer - that's what I'm doing now (nothing!) - but I do fear these judgements.  Because *I* am judgemental. 

Those of you that didn't tell, how did you handle it?

 I'm looking forward to people's answers on this as well, since I'm keeping my surgery pretty close to my heart as well. 

I didn't tell either and still haven't. This is just a new way of trying to get the weight off. You don't have to say any more than that, if you don't choose.  I had Christmas dinner with the family and was in the mushy stage and while some of them noticed, I just said that I'm trying to lose weight.  They stopped asking after that.

I too was very judgmental, but when I look back on my judgments, I think I was more jealous. We know that it's not the easy way out, but others aren't as versed on the procedure as we are, so cut them some slack with their judgments.

This is privacy issue to me and I don't think it's anyone's business how I choose to get rid of excess weight. But most people think their opinion is the only one that counts, so I don't let them in on my personal life.

Don't you think they are judging you for being overweight too? Which judgment can you live with?

Only my immediate family and my boss knew about my surgery.  I did not even tell my best friends.  After I returned to work, that was after 3rd week after surgery, people notice that I had lost weight so they asked and I told them I had WLS.  Everyone was happy for me.  Then I called all my friends and told them.  I wanted to have a clear mind before going into surgery and did not want to listen to any negative comments.  I was determined to have the surgery and nothing was going to change my mind.....It worked out fine.

I work in a small office and we're a pretty tight group.  I told everyone when I got the lapband so imagine my humiliation that I am now just about as big as I was when I first got that procedure.  This time I just told everyone that I'm having the band removed.  I already started all liquids so I don't think anyone will think anything about it when i get back from having the sleeve...however, due to the close-knit relationships at work, I'm sure I'll admit if anyone asks.

Hopefully this all liquid diet will work quickly and my surgeon's office will submit the paperwork soon.

Crystal,  I can so relate to what you posted.  I too am goingto tell them I am having the lapband removed.  That is it..........they don't need to knowabout the sleeve.  I teach............so as far as they know I had allsummer to lose weight

I pretty much had to tell everyone since my parents are helping me pay for it and in order to take off work I had to explain something b/c we are short handed right now so just taking off for no reason would not go over well.  Plus I like that they know so I know if I ever did something stupid they would call me out on it.  My co-workers are all being very supportive---so far!

I'm keeping this to myself and my immediate family only.
At work i had to take a holiday so i told them i had gland issues that demand a small op, which was not a total lie cuz at the end i had a high tsh that was starting to cuz more gaining. This worked fine cuz ur expected to have complications after any op, so the eating disaster seems a natural consequence, and at the same time glands cuz you to gain or lose weight, so if the op fixes ur problem ur expected to lose weight..

Anyway people are always curious about how u lose weight and they start inspecting ur habits, so i totally understand why u want to keep this to the chosen few!

But again answering ur question about being weird, i fixed that with being on "diet", you can take the first week off and not see ppl, then when ur back, ur dieting. eating yoghurt or custard at work makes it easy to feel normal but "dieting"

gluck, and remember its nice to have a secret

I myself told all my friends and family.  You will be surprised on how supportive they are.  They all asked me questions about the procedure.  They were actually very interested on how the surgery is done and stuff.  My coworkers do pay attention to what I eat.  But in a way that they care.  For the most part everyone is very supportive. 
Its all up to you on how you want to handle it.  I myself was not worried about what people think.  I did it for myself not for anyone else.  And I would do it again if I had too.  Good luck

Before my surgery, I only told people close to me.  I knew it would eventually make it around the office.  I'm about the 4th person there to have some form of WLS, so by now it's old news in my office.  But NONE of my immediate coworkers mentions anything to me about my weight loss!  Maybe it's because I didn't directly tell them I had surgery, or maybe it's because I work in healthcare and we're so aware of privacy issues to begin with. 

When people outside of my circle of friends and coworkers started noticing, I originally just said I changed my eating patterns and started exersizing.  But once I lost a lot of weight in a short time, I thought it's safe to start telling anyone who asked.  FOR ME, I didn't want to be Starr Jones - like and lie about it.  After all, I was on the other end and always wanted to know how people lost weight.  Jealousy?  I don't think so, I just wanted to know how they lost it and if it's something I hadn't tried already.

Good luck on your new journey Happy!