Crossing the border (weight border)

I currently weigh 211.  The last time I lost weight, I got down to 192 from a starting weight of 237.  It took many months of dedicated excercise and food discipline.  Then something really stressful in my life happened, and the bungie cord started pulling me back up.  I would eat something I shouldn't and think "oh, I'll be able to lose a few pounds if I have to--I just lost 45 pounds, I'm a pro, etc."  I kept that up--I can lose 5, 8, 10, 12.  When the scale hit 211, I didn't have that feeling anymore.  I had the image of the bungie cord and my fingers unsuccessfully scrabbling for anything I could grab onto, but there wasn't anything.  At 211, I just let go.  I remember sitting in a Safeway parking lot eating a container of pudding I had just bought.  I had such a strong sense of my body really really trying to gain the weight back.  The only time I would eat pudding in my stupid car is when gaining weight back that I had lost.

Sometimes I can't believe that I've had this surgery, but every day my sense of gratitude gets stronger.  211 makes me sad for all the times I actually lost the weight and then had to suffer the grief and humiliation of gaining it back.  In the next few days I'm putting that number in my rearview.  Humility keeps me from saying I will never see it again, because hell just might freeze over, you never know.

Jenny

I can so relate to this!!I think most probably can what a good post!

 One more thing I forgot to mention:

I GOT HERE LESS THAN THREE WEEKS AFTER SURGERY????????????  (Getting on knees and being grateful for sleeve)