why I NEED surgery..

I have always called myself fat, but I joke about it..you know, better to laugh then cry. Well, I need to stop...my son has picked up on this, and has hurt my feelings recently.

First he told his daddy, "Daddy you have to lay with me before bedtime because Mommy is too fat to fit in the bed with me" (its a twin)

Today he told me when we were wrestling, "you get yourself up because you are fat!"

He really is not being mean, he has heard me say it so much he thinks nothing of it.....but I had to explain that that could be hurtful to someone who did not know him as well as I do.

So, even though I did it to myself it stung =(

I totally get you here!  My lovely daughter told me a while back that although she loved her "cuddly chub chub mummy" when she grows up she wants to have a body like Aunty Mel (my skinny sister).  I knew she was just being honest and I want that for her too but I felt like she thought I wasn't good enough :(   On the plus side I handed her a 500gm pot of yogert this morning  and told her thats how much weight Mummy lost yesterday!  Her eyes bulged!

Awww Paige, I'm sorry hun.  Like you said, he doesn't know any better, but I can imagine it doesn't help the sting that much.    You did the right thing though, by explaining to him now, how words can hurt, before it becomes second nature to him.   Hang in there!  Things will get better and before you know it there will be room for you, Daddy and him in his twin bed before bedtime!! 

Hey Paige,
We share the same surgery date. Yea us.  My daughter just turned 6 years old and she really knows how to hurt my feelings. She will say hurtful things like mommy you are fat or you look like a hippo. She is always pushing on and squeezing my stomach. It also hurts my feelings. I as well tell her how much words can hurt. She is one of those kids that do not have a filter. she will say what ever she thinks. So we will have to work on that. We were once in a Dr's office and the nurse came in and my daughter asked her why was she so fat. I was so embarassed and apologized profusely to her.

Paige,

I have totally been there.  My son heard me calling myself fat for so long that he thought it was ok to say that I was fat too.  I remember about a week before my surgery he looks at me so serious and says, "mom i think you are perfect fat just the way you are." I looked at him and started bawling, my husband was like you know he didn't mean it hurtful, which I totally did know that, but it still stung like no other. 

That hurts. It is strange how we say things like this and never realize how it comes back to get us one day. I've done something similar too. There is something about those words coming out of our kiddos' mouths that really burns. I feel ya! Good luck to you with everything.

Kids always repeat just what you don't want them to! I'm sorry your feelings were hurt  

Now that you are on your journey to a more helthy life,it is time for you to change YOUR mindset and in that way you will change HIS.

Vow right now to NEVER refer to yourself in a derogatory way to your self or anybody else.

Your son and the opther people in your life will NEVER learn to value you if yod don't begin to value yourself and tech them to value you too.

GL

I don't have a son, but I'm sorry to hear all this.  I would address it because you don't want him to treat his lady like this when he is older.  I also would like to say one other thing: love yourself.  Respect yourself, and treat yourself like you would like to be treated.  That's how other's value you: how you value yourself.   Good luck and as a mom of a girl, I want to be a good role model for her :)